Guess my shadow really did predict 2 weeks of agony. I thought it would be like during the end of June like it usually is. I'm going to go crazy I hate this so much I want it to stop hurting
I left Christianity around two years ago after I realized all the contradictions and moral issues in the bible. (and left the right for that matter) But my subconscious still responds how it used to for a split second. It's very strange because it contradicts how I actually feel about the given topics. Here are some examples:
If I see a gay/lesbian couple on a TV show I feel really uneasy for a second before thinking that I am really happy to see representation.
If I'm around somebody talking about their belief in jesus I feel safe - then I feel a bit distanced from them when I remember I have different beliefs. The opposite happens when I'm around an atheist, I'll feel annoyed for a second and then happily share that I'm also an atheist so we can talk about how silly Christianity is.
Have any of you guys also experienced this? Does it ever go away? I've been feeling guilty about it.
I'm 18 and I was raised as a Baptist Christian by two parents. 2 years ago I just drifted out of religion by a mix of apathy and reason. They have never forced me to go to church, they never asked me about my religious beliefs. The reason I want to tell them is that I have been going through some stuff and they always tell me to read the bible or fix my relationship with god as if that is the magical solution. I feel like they'd understand me better if I told them I'm an atheist.
I don't think I'd be good at explaining why exactly I left and I don't want to debate. Maybe I should strengthen my views about how the world came into existence/evolution etc.. before I come out?
They seem to suspect my lack of belief. My dad has told me that he doesn't really care if I am attracted to the same gender (I'm bi) but he would care if I was an atheist. He has expressed his frustrations about being a bad parent before when I have talked critically about Christianity. (as well as asking what I have been listening to) But he just seemed mildly disappointed.. not angry.
I don't really talk to my mom often so I don't really know how she'd react. She's usually the one that tells me to read the bible whenever I'm stressed out as a way to dismiss me. But whenever I question her religion she also just seems mildly annoyed.
I think they know I'm skeptical about it and don't have a personal relationship with "god" but I have no idea how they'd react if I said I didn't believe in any of it. I know they wouldn't evict me, but they might double down on enforcing religion like forcing me to go to church. But honestly, they'd probably not care too much, they are so busy with my younger siblings and their jobs to care about my beliefs. I just hate how Christianity has asserted that every one who isn't a believer is a rotten sinner who's going to hell.
I used to be extremely productive but over the past month I have been really depressed and unfocused, never really getting anything done all day. Lo and behold I got a shadow cluster today and so that means that I'm going to get a cluster period in the next few weeks. Do you guys experience any mood changes before your cluster period? Or is this just a coincidence. I know clusters have something to do with the hypothalmus.
"Are you depressed? Well it must be because you aren't praying enough!" It's like they use that as a cop-out instead of actually caring about fellow human beings. I'm tired of being told that following religion will solve all my issues, that I'm struggling because I'm not a good Christian. How am I supposed to play by their rules if I don't even believe in their religion?
I don't know why I'm worrying about this is stupid. (I have ocd) but I'm scared that once I have a relationship I'm going to turn into a sexual. I don't know if I have ever felt horny, the closest I've ever felt was like this very strong feeling of wanting to cuddle somebody I love. The reason I'm scared of being a sexual is well.. I could get an STD, sexual intercourse does not make sense to me, I don't want to get pregnant, and it's extremely gross. I have a huge appetite but if I hear about a description about sex or see a genital I cannot eat for like hours because I am so sick to my stomach. I've had a relationship before but all I fantasized about was cuddling them but what if that changes, I'm only 18??
For a while I have only crushed on guys who are either fictional or somebody I can never actually date/meet (like a celebrity). Every time I meet a guy my brain is like "meh". However, I have had crushes on women who I've been friends with or just seen around, I get so infatuated I think about them all day. I was in a relationship with a woman and I didn't know I could feel that intensity of love for a person. There have only been a few times where I have crushed on a celebrity/fictional character who was a woman though.
I'm not sexist-Guys are cool. I just don't know why I only crush on guys who I'll never meet.
I'm 18 and I really need to focus on my final work for high school-I want to quit coffee and entertainment from Reddit and Youtube for the month of May. I'm EST.. Just a simple check in the evening or whenever you want- and I'll make sure you are on track with your goals! Any takers?
this is so gross, do they think I have a disorder for not wanting/desiring sex?
I am turning 18 in a couple days, I am home-schooled, I do not have a drivers license, I live in an area where you need to drive a while to get anywhere. On average I only leave the house once or twice a month. I used to have a job but my boss and ride (who is my neighbor) had to go on disability. I am chronically online and eat junk food all day because this distracts me from how depressed I am. I cannot conjure the focus or energy to finish my final classes. I only help with house chores if I am asked to which is very rarely. I have no interests in hobbies and when people discuss their dreams it feels like a foreign concept to me. I need to stop these habits but I do not know how. When I left the house regularly I felt like I had more energy and I felt like I was in some sort of groove. Now I am lethargic, failing assignments, have horrible self esteem, and spend way too much time bedrotting.
I turn 18 in a couple days and I've completely lost sight of who I am. I'm taking two self paced college classes (home-schooled) but I cannot conjure the energy or focus to finish them. I don't have any hobbies I enjoy anymore and I complete minimum chores around the house. I spend the majority of my day eating junk food and watching Youtube or small talking to discordians as a distraction. When people talk about interests or their dreams it feels like a foreign concept to me. I feel like I'm being suffocated by self-pity by obsessing over how lazy and dumb I am. I don't know how to stop and adopt a positive mindset.. I just don't know what to do anymore and I need help.
Should I quit Youtube, Discord, and Reddit? Should I accept that I'm stupid and try my best with everything and go for it?