u/Emergency-Basket-469

23 and all my friends have left college, starting their careers. I’m currently starting as a server to save up for tuition to return this fall. Yeah, return. I left college in 2023 due to developing fibromyalgia and a severe form of GERD. Racked up thousands in health bills and they’re still monitoring me because from my tests, I am potentially developing an autoimmune disease. It’s not the chronic pain, the constant fatigue, the brain fog, that I’m most angry about. It’s the putting me so far behind. I feel equivalent to an 18 or 19 year old. I don’t even have a car. Trying to save and purchase one too. Between 2023 and 2025 it’s just been me trying to focus on my health while simultaneously trying to pay off hospital bills because fuck that kind of debt. All my friends are living life, moving forward beyond me, and barely even ask me to hang out anymore because they know I’m always in some sort of symptom flareup. Life just sucks. My 20s shouldn’t be like this. Idk. What’s worse is you can’t see my symptoms. It’s not like an illness where it’s all visible. So therefore I just come off as lazy.. Meanwhile I try to push myself way more than anyone thinks.

In public, although I am sociable and somewhat charismatic, I’m also awkward at the same time and I shut down at the slightest inconvenience

At home, interacting with family and friends feels tiresome so I dont engage as much, yet when I’m by myself or no one’s responding to my texts I do feel bad.

I am constantly stuck with my own brain, too. I replay everything! I don’t know why. I can say “excuse me” to someone at like, Walmart, when I’m walking past them in the aisle. And I’ll replay that for the rest of the day. I. Replay. Every. Single. Interaction. That. I. Ever. Have.

It’s not that I “am” alone, it’s that my brain’s day-to-day processing makes everything more tiring than what it needs to be, and that’s the lonely part.

Is anyone else like this? I will know full well that I need to be awake at a certain time, yet sometimes I won’t go to sleep until like 2-4 before I need to be up. I have gotten better about doing this and will try to get 5-6 hours of sleep but I genuinely hate going to bed before a morning shift. I guess in my mind, I’m getting as much time to myself as possible before I go do something I absolutely hate for the next 6-8 hours (work lol. I hate working. Even when I like a job I just hate being there.)

Anyways it’s 5:40 AM as I’m writing this and I have to be to work at 10 AM lmfao. (ADHDer here.)

I (23M) have been seeing a woman (37F) for a few months now. It started as a casual fwb thing and mostly still is, but over time it’s becoming more than that sorta. We’re not officially together yet but I’d like it to head in that direction.

For context, I’m Azn and she’s whte (I had to abbreviate it because for whatever reason mentioning race gets caught in a filter? What even lol)

Early on before we even started hooking up, she told me she was hesitant because she “didn’t know what to expect” and brought up stereotypes about Azn men being small. That already made me a bit self conscious, but I brushed it off because I didn’t want to seem insecure.

For what it’s worth I’m not big lol. Won’t pretend like I am either. I’m also not small though. After we started sleeping together she kept making comments like “I’m glad you’re not super tiny” or “I was actually surprised.” It’s been like five months and she still says stuff like this. The most recent was “A wht or blk guy is probably bigger but I guess you’re fine”

“You’re like at the safest limit”

She usually says it jokingly but it’s been getting to me. I find myself overthinking it constantly and comparing myself to other guys. I recently tried to bring it up and she responded by saying I’m basically blaming her for my insecurities and that I shouldn’t put that on her.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if I’m right to be bothered but I don’t want her thinking of me as a whiny little man so I didn’t press her on the way she brushed me off, but I didn’t like it and I’m just irritated now. Where do I go from here now that I’ve pretty much pissed her off and probably made her think lesser of me?

TLDR: Tried to talk to my partner about some insecurities she’s given me and she glossed over it then told me I’m blaming her for my own issues

I’m going to bed but I’ll read and respond when I get off work at 2pm.

I’m not even a fat woman. I’m a lean ass dude so for me to be making this post means it’s getting to a damn point lmao.

If you don’t like fat or chubby chicks, fine and cool! A lot of dudes don’t. I prefer slimmer women as well (although I will and have dated a chubby girl before because personality often overrides looks for me.)

But bruh, when you’re with your friends you do not have to snicker about the fat chick who just walked past you. And you don’t have to be in a fat girl’s comment section with shit like “whale” “fridge” Why did bros even create this whole fridge joke? Like huh.

And what’s weird is the difference in social media comments. If there’s a video of a couple and the woman is big, the comments are just men making fun of her and posting things like “What was he thinking” “as long as bro is happy” “he had to choose his 3rd @” meanwhile when I see a fit woman with a fat guy the comments from men are “Just stood up and applauded him” “He has great pull”

How about everyone genuinely just stop commenting stuff about other relationships that have nothing to do with us. I get that the internet is anonymous but not every thought in your brain has to be posted. Seriously. And same for in real life, there’s been so many guys I’ve known that think I am a safe space to make fun of women they find unattractive

…I am not. If I find someone ugly, I straight up don’t have any second thoughts about them.

ETA: All I said was “yo let’s be kind to strangers” and the comment section is full of dudes actually arguing against this. There’s gotta be a government mandate that all Gen Z peeps go outside with no technology at least four times a week. They gotta implement this asap

I (23M) have been seeing this woman (37F) for a few months now. It started as a hookup situation and it’s still mainly just that. But it’s kind of been drifting into something more serious. We hang out a lot, go on dates, talk daily, etc. Not officially dating yet but if things go my way it would hopefully be heading to a serious relationship. For context before going into what’s making me not feel good I’m Asian and she’s white.

When we started talking about hooking up, she straight up told me she was hesitant about sex with me because she “wasn’t sure what to expect” because Asian guys are small. That did make me feel worried but I didn’t wanna seem insecure. For what it’s worth I am NOT big and I’m not gonna pretend like I am for the sake of this story, lol. But I’m also not small. I’m average length.

After we actually started hooking up she would sometimes make comments like “thank god you’re not micro” and “I was actually surprised.” I laughed it off at first because I didn’t want to make things awkward, but it didn’t really sit right with me. The problem is she hasn’t really stopped. It’s been like five months.

She says these things a lot: “I mean, a white or black guy would probably be bigger, but you’re fine”

“I guess you’re like, safe average”

“At least you’re not tiny like I expected”

She says it in a joking tone but it’s been getting to me more and more. I’ve never really been insecure about my body before but now I find myself overthinking it constantly and comparing myself to other guys. It’s honestly starting to mess with my head and my confidence. Now I’m questioning if I’m overreacting or if this is actually as messed up as it feels. I wanna talk to her and seriously set a boundary because I think I should be honest and let her know she’s kinda making me feel dysmorphic. But on the downside I’m scared she’ll think I’m a sensitive little boy and cut me off.

Seriously why am I here working two jobs to afford college and a car. What was the point of me being created lol. I only sleep a max of 5 hours. I’m tired I’m exhausted I have no parental support. Everything is expensive, this shit is exhausting.

Thats all