u/Edu_ziNho

Hey y’allz. I’m here because I might need some help figuring out if I’m aro or not… somethings have been happening that are making me question that.
So, I’m gonna give a bit of context about me before explaining why I think I might be aromantic, or in that spectrum.

I’ll be 18 next month, and throughout my childhood and adolescence, I have never had a crush on anyone. I used to see everyone around me having crushes and dating, but never felt that with anyone, even the people who were the nicest to me. I’ve never imagined myself dating anyone I know, and that never bothered me to be honest.
When I was 12-13, I started questioning myself, that maybe I was aromantic, but then I shrugged that feeling off and never questioned it again. Needless to say i have never dated or felt the need to…
Everyone around me at school was always so keen on having a boyfriend/girlfriend and I’ve never understood that.

I like romance, im not disgusted by it or anything else, and sometimes i do feel like I would like to be loved and would like to love someone in a romantic way, find a partner, in theory, but then i can’t when it comes to real life. Maybe one day i will feel romantic attraction to someone, and maybe i just haven’t found the right person yet?

I also don’t dislike the idea of a platonic relationship, just not the romance or dating part…

So, recently, for about 1 year or so, I’ve been talking with this girl, and I guess we’re kinda in a situationship; she says she’s in love with me, and I feel bad because, even though I like the idea of liking her and find her genuinely interesting and attractive, I’m not interested in that way. I keep talking to her, even though I’m lying to her and I feel horrible, I need to break things up, but somehow it’s still difficult to me because we have grown close, and we talk every day, so it’s hard to let her go, but I have to, or else I’m hurting her and wasting her time.
Anyways, at the beginning of our relationship, I thought I was genuinely in love and interested, but that didn’t last long. I haven’t been interested in her in that way for a long time now, and every time I read her texts saying “I like you very much” my heart just shatters because holy crap what do I do now

Need some outside perspectives on this haha

Hey y’allz. I’m here because I might need some help figuring out if I’m aro or not… somethings have been happening that are making me question that.
So, I’m gonna give a bit of context about me before explaining why I think I might be aromantic, or in that spectrum.

I’ll be 18 next month, and throughout my childhood and adolescence, I have never had a crush on anyone. I used to see everyone around me having crushes and dating, but never felt that with anyone, even the people who were the nicest to me. I’ve never imagined myself dating anyone I know, and that never bothered me to be honest.
When I was 12-13, I started questioning myself, that maybe I was aromantic, but then I shrugged that feeling off and never questioned it again. Needless to say i have never dated or felt the need to…
Everyone around me at school was always so keen on having a boyfriend/girlfriend and I’ve never understood that.

I like romance, im not disgusted by it or anything else, and sometimes i do feel like I would like to be loved and would like to love someone in a romantic way, find a partner, in theory, but then i can’t when it comes to real life. Maybe one day i will feel romantic attraction to someone, and maybe i just haven’t found the right person yet?

I also don’t dislike the idea of a platonic relationship, just not the romance or dating part…

So, recently, for about 1 year or so, I’ve been talking with this girl, and I guess we’re kinda in a situationship; she says she’s in love with me, and I feel bad because, even though I like the idea of liking her and find her genuinely interesting and attractive, I’m not interested in that way. I keep talking to her, even though I’m lying to her and I feel horrible, I need to break things up, but somehow it’s still difficult to me because we have grown close, and we talk every day, so it’s hard to let her go, but I have to, or else I’m hurting her and wasting her time.
Anyways, at the beginning of our relationship, I thought I was genuinely in love and interested, but that didn’t last long. I haven’t been interested in her in that way for a long time now, and every time I read her texts saying “I like you very much” my heart just shatters because holy crap what do I do now

Need some outside perspectives on this haha

Hey there. I am going through a situation that I need some help figuring out, as I can’t do it on my own. Need some advice and perspective from the outside on situationships.
So, I’ve never been in a situationship, or relationship, so this is all very new to me and that’s why I need some help figuring out if this is what happens in most situationships or not. I’ll explain my dynamic with her and the situation we’re in:

So first of all, we’re long distance, I think that’s worth mentioning. We are from the same country, just 300 km apart, but we call, play things together and watch stuff, and obviously text. We’ve been talking for one year more or less, and a few months back we have grown really close; I say it’s a situationship because there was never a formal “do you want to be my girlfriend/boyfriend” type of question yet, but we have talked about that and we agreed we’d do it once we meet in person (this summer, but I’m not sure anymore after thinking about this).

She says she’s very attached to me, she’s always love bombing me with words, always telling me she LOVES me, and if I don’t say it back she gets angry (I do, but, I don’t really feel that way, yet). Anyways, one of the things that bothers me is that, one day, she’s clearly in love with me, telling me how much she wants to meet me and how she loves me, how she wants to hold me, etc, like we are actually dating, and the exact next moment, she’s cold and distant. This happens a lot, recently, she was going to delete her account, the one she uses to text me, and not tell me, so her intentions was to ghost me I guess? I know she has problems such as depression and an eating disorder, which I am obviously always there for her, let her vent, and I have issues too, so I understand how she feels, but, does that give her the right to treat me like crap all of those times?

Anyways, the main problem I wanted to expose here was that I feel like she doesn’t care about me or what I have to say, I feel like she might be just desperate for a relationship, she doesn’t want to love, instead she wants to be loved. She has told me this before, that she NEEDED a boyfriend, and she always talked about how her all of her friends had boyfriends.
Every time she tells me about her day, about what made her happy or sad, I’m there to comfort her or be proud of her, because that’s what I like to be done to me, so I do that to everyone because everyone likes to be heard.
Every single day I ask her how she’s doing, how her day been, how she slept, she on the other hand, does not do that. The only time she ever asks how I’m doing is when I ask her first, and most of times she DOESN’T.
When I’m expressing my feelings and frustrations to her, she makes a little comment and right after that, without trying to understand anything any further, starts talking about anything else or her own problems. One time I expressed how sad I was when my parents did something, and all she said after I poured my heart out was “yeah my parents to that sometimes too”.

I tried talking to her about this once, she ignored my message. Then I said I needed some space, she said okay, then we started texting again after she told me she missed me and I brought this up and we kinda solved it. She tried to change her behavior and said sorry, which I appreciated and gave me hope, I really really liked that she was open to change, but that only last a few days, she’s now back to her usual behavior.

Need help figuring out if this is a normal behavior people have in a situationship?(since it’s nothing official yet).
I don’t know, this behavior doesn’t even seem normal in a normal friendship so…
Need new points of view.

Hey there. I am going through a situation that I need some help figuring out, as I can’t do it on my own. Need some advice and perspective from the outside.
So, I’ve never been in a situationship, or relationship, so this is all very new to me and that’s why I need some help figuring out if this is what happens in most situationships or if I’m just whiny and overreacting, cuz that’s very well possible. I’ll explain my dynamic with her and the situation we’re in:

So first of all, we’re long distance, I think that’s worth mentioning. We are from the same country, just 300 km apart, but we call, play things together and watch stuff, and obviously text. We’ve been talking for one year more or less, and a few months back we have grown really close; I say it’s a situationship because there was never a formal “do you want to be my girlfriend/boyfriend” type of question yet, but we have talked about that and we agreed we’d do it once we meet in person (this summer, but I’m not sure anymore after thinking about this).

She says she’s very attached to me, she’s always love bombing me with words, always telling me she LOVES me, and if I don’t say it back she gets angry (I do, but, I don’t really feel that way, yet). Anyways, one of the things that bothers me is that, one day, she’s clearly in love with me, telling me how much she wants to meet me and how she loves me, how she wants to hold me, etc, like we are actually dating, and the exact next moment, she’s cold and distant. This happens a lot, recently, she was going to delete her account, the one she uses to text me, and not tell me, so her intentions was to ghost me I guess? I know she has problems such as depression and an eating disorder, which I am obviously always there for her, let her vent, and I have issues too, so I understand how she feels, but, does that give her the right to treat me like crap all of those times?

Anyways, the main problem I wanted to expose here was that I feel like she doesn’t care about me or what I have to say, I feel like she might be just desperate for a relationship, she doesn’t want to love, instead she wants to be loved. She has told me this before, that she NEEDED a boyfriend, and she always talked about how her all of her friends had boyfriends.
Every time she tells me about her day, about what made her happy or sad, I’m there to comfort her or be proud of her, because that’s what I like to be done to me, so I do that to everyone because everyone likes to be heard.
Every single day I ask her how she’s doing, how her day been, how she slept, she on the other hand, does not do that. The only time she ever asks how I’m doing is when I ask her first, and most of times she DOESN’T.
When I’m expressing my feelings and frustrations to her, she makes a little comment and right after that, without trying to understand anything any further, starts talking about anything else or her own problems. One time I expressed how sad I was when my parents did something, and all she said after I poured my heart out was “yeah my parents to that sometimes too”.

I tried talking to her about this once, she ignored my message. Then I said I needed some space, she said okay, then we started texting again after she told me she missed me and I brought this up and we kinda solved it. She tried to change her behavior and said sorry, which I appreciated and gave me hope, I really really liked that she was open to change, but that only last a few days, she’s now back to her usual behavior.

Need help figuring out if this is a normal behavior people have in a situationship?(since it’s nothing official yet).
I don’t know, this behavior doesn’t even seem normal in a normal friendship so…
Need new points of view.
Am I overreacting? Too sensitive? Or is this normal?

TLDR: Am I too sensitive? Or does my situationship does not care for me like I do for her?

I end friendships because I’m unhappy and I feel like I’m in a toxic environment, but then I get sad and feel sorry for the other person, what if I hurt them and at the end of the day what if I AM the one who’s wrong and couldn’t see it, and now it’s too late?

It’s not the first time it has happened, I always doubt myself and what I do, so I wonder, maybe I am always wrong for breaking up my friendships, or haven’t I found a real good friend yet?

The most recent one, the person whom I had a friendship of 3 years had always made me feel like I was walking on eggshells with them, always careful not to annoy them or do or say anything that could make them mad; they always got mad and ignored me when I made a mistake, when I did something they didn’t want me to do. I was always the one who apologized, so many times, even when I felt like I didn’t need to, I did so because if not they would just stay silent, even when I asked them 50 thousand times a day what I had done wrong and if everything was okay. They replied yes, and then ignored me. Next day everything was fine, no talking nothing, and I never knew what I did wrong

I got tired, always the same thing, and one day the same happened, so I just decided not to apologize for something that I didn’t have the fault of. He spent one month ignoring me, not respecting me (we’re from the same class, he didn’t respect me as his classmate). All of a sudden today he came and talked to me about it; he said he felt hurt, but how was I supposed to know what I did if you don’t tell me? I can’t guess things, we need to talk it out. He talked to me, he was all of a sudden kind, weird because that past month he had been aggressive when referring to me (when not ignoring). I felt sorry, I must’ve hurt him bad, and I stared doubting my decision, maybe I overreacted maybe I don’t know maybe I shouldn’t have done that

I make a lot of mistakes

Am I a bad person or just stupid because I can’t learn from them? My mistakes affect me, but only because they affect other people around me, the people that I love. My mistakes should only affect me, but they affect others around me, I cause pain, and then I want to make things right, but can never.

Because of my many mistakes, am I bad person for causing other people pain, or am I just stupid? It’s not my intent to hurt anyone , but I always end up doing the same

That’s what I do, I cause people pain, even when I think I’m doing my best

People say your mistakes don’t define you, but if there’s so many of them, maybe they do? I don’t know what to think, I can’t answer this question by myself, if anyone has anything to say about this, feel free to comment

**TL;DR;** : Rant about not being able to maintain a friendship for long, is it my fault? Am I just a bad friend for distancing myself, or someone else’s fault?

I end friendships because I’m unhappy and I feel like I’m in a toxic environment, but then I get sad and feel sorry for the other person, what if I hurt them and at the end of the day what if I AM the one who’s wrong and couldn’t see it, and now it’s too late?

It’s not the first time it has happened, I always doubt myself and what I do, so I wonder, maybe I am always wrong for breaking up my friendships, or haven’t I found a real good friend yet?

The most recent one, the person whom I had a friendship of 3 years had always made me feel like I was walking on eggshells with them, always careful not to annoy them or do or say anything that could make them mad; they always got mad and ignored me when I made a mistake, when I did something they didn’t want me to do. I was always the one who apologized, so many times, even when I felt like I didn’t need to, I did so because if not they would just stay silent, even when I asked them 50 thousand times a day what I had done wrong and if everything was okay. They replied yes, and then ignored me. Next day everything was fine, no talking nothing, and I never knew what I did wrong

I got tired, always the same thing, and one day the same happened, so I just decided not to apologize for something that I didn’t have the fault of. He spent one month ignoring me, not respecting me (we’re from the same class, he didn’t respect me as his classmate). All of a sudden today he came and talked to me about it; he said he felt hurt, but how was I supposed to know what I did if you don’t tell me? I can’t guess things, we need to talk it out. He talked to me, he was all of a sudden kind, weird because that past month he had been aggressive when referring to me (when not ignoring). I felt sorry, I must’ve hurt him bad, and I stared doubting my decision, maybe I overreacted maybe I don’t know maybe I shouldn’t have done that

I make a lot of mistakes

Am I a bad person or just stupid because I can’t learn from them? My mistakes affect me, but only because they affect other people around me, the people that I love. My mistakes should only affect me, but they affect others around me, I cause pain, and then I want to make things right, but can never.

Because of my many mistakes, am I bad person for causing other people pain, or am I just stupid? It’s not my intent to hurt anyone , but I always end up doing the same

That’s what I do, I cause people pain, even when I think I’m doing my best

People say your mistakes don’t define you, but if there’s so many of them, maybe they do? I don’t know what to think, I can’t answer this question by myself, if anyone has anything to say about this, feel free to comment