r/aromanticasexual

So i think i might be aroace, i don't really feel attracted to people most of the time. But there are some situations that i get attracted to certain people and also i still have some sort of libido, but almost always it's not for real people (and if it is, it isn't for someone i know). And i think i may have a crush on one of my frieds, but it's really wierd (it's in a platonic way but still romantical in a way, idk how to explain)

And funny / interesting story’s

I explain. I mostly interact with people of my own gender, but when interacting with the opposite gender, I feel a bit more restricted and slightly uncomfortable. I feel like I have to keep the interaction as short as possible, not look too much at the face, so as not to seem interested and be misunderstood, even though I'm not capable of feeling that myself. That is worse when a family member or someone I know is present.

But it doesn't happen often, very few times, because I don't usually interact with people, and most of those I do interact with are men and adult women *(Not my age)*. But I'm curious to know if you sometimes feel the same way.

I don't feel any sexual or romantic attraction, but I feel a tremendous emotional attraction, and I'd like to have a girlfriend, but only to love me, hold hands, and cuddle without sex. I want to remain alone; I don't want us to live together. I want to live my life alone, but I just want to be loved and valued and accepted.
That makes me a crazy person who has no pity and is selfish.

I know your normally meant to wear them on your hands but I don’t want to show them that publicly would it still count if I wore them as a pendant /necklace? And I just don’t like wearing rings in general I find them uncomfortable

CW (maybe?): internalized aroace-phobia?

hi. I recently had an experience that made me realize I might be aroace. I definitely do not experience (or have not experienced) sexual attraction, and all of my romantic experiences have felt more like really strong feelings or friendship or admiration. Maybe I just don't know what any of it feels like yet, but the possibility that I may be aroace makes me sad. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with being aroace. it’s just that I’ve always fantasized being in a relationship. i’ve always wanted a boyfriend or girlfriend, someone who makes me feel safe, like I can be myself, and the idea of trusting someone so much that I’d let them see me exposed (both literally and figuratively) sounds great. but I can’t have that now, because that’s not how relationships work. you can’t just be in a romantic relationship if only one of you is romantically attracted. and you could have sex with anyone in theory, but I don’t want to enjoy stuff like that with just anyone. i want someone special too.

I don’t know. just feels like my dreams are being crushed a little bit.

I realised I was aroace almost a year ago now and I realised this after a couple relationships I was kinda manipulated into and that’s how I realised I was arowace

Since then I have had people ask me who I like or just general romantic questions but being very strongly aroace i dont do that stuff but they never realy accept that answer and i have very conservative (i think I’m using that word right but if I’m not i mean not very open minded )so I can’t openly say to people I’m aroace is there any other alternative ways to say it ?

so i’ve noticed my entire life i can’t get aroused, and also my body won’t produce lubrication no matter what.

as well as the fact that i can only come through repetitive touch and it doesn’t feel that great just gets me annoyed and overstimulated it’s not great at all! and i can’t put anything up there because it’s usually rock solid and dry as hell 😭

and once in a blue moon when i do get aroused, it lasts for like 3 minutes and then it’s over and it SUCKS

i know sexuality is innate and whoever says asexuality is a preference count your days because why the hell would someone want THIS?

After having going through a sulking session on how no one find me attractive one day, I realised hey it is rather fucked up, isn't it? That my entire self worth is dependent on someone else's opinion on me how much they can find me fuckable. I actually sit through this and thought how much the idea of that if no one find you romantically or straight up attractive in any manner, it can ruin your confidence. Why does the idea of someone finding out how much my outer flesh is worth it to notice is crazy!!!

I know humanity are social animals and being not able to find connection is actually good reason to be sad but being aroace and cutting romantic and sexual attraction and looking it from outside it is rather messed up. It is like, hey wait a minute, in healthy friendships looks sometimes barely matter there in fact rather look down upon if you are choosing friends in the basis of how one is good looking. But in terms of romantic and sexual attraction, it is acceptable and even a stepping stone. And if you don't have that stepping stone, good fucking luck.

And it mess everyone regardless of gender and sexuality.

Like hello???

(specifically, questioning if im aro/aro-spec)

some context:

• i have always known i was asexual, even before i knew it wasnt the "norm" experienced by most ppl. no sexual attraction at all.

• i have struggled with friendship for a good chunk of my life, mainly due to childhood trauma and lack of positive role models in terms of what a healthy and fulfilling friendship/relationship looks like. recently i have been working on having deeper and more fulfiling relationships with friends that energise me and people who i genuinely enjoy hanging out with

• all my life i have been chasing romantic relationships. i am starting to suspect its a mix of wanting to escape my household and toxic family + desire for emotional connection + some type of comphet /comp-allo?

• i am currently questioning my romantic orientation. given the complications of not experiencing sexual attraction & not feeling as strongly about my breakup as i initially thought i would. tldr i think i managed to get over it much faster than i thought i would (2.5 years relationship, its been 2-3 months and i am mostly over it).

would love to hear any input! im v confused abt the difference between having a close friendship and a romantic relationship. like i cant tell if ive actually ever experienced romantic attraction, or was it just the desire for emotional intimacy? feel free to ask me anyth thank u 🤓☝️

hi. this might be a really dumb thing to say but do people unironically experience attraction?? i was looking for an audio clip of markiplier earlier and it turned into a weird edit with sex music. do people find this “attractive”?? i’ve always thought that people are joking when they mention this, but is this real? i genuinely cannot fathom this .

For the longest time, I identified as homoromantic (aka asexual gay), but for the past year, I have realized that I might dont actually like men either. But, I still have some questions, and I really need other people's opinions on a few points:

1. ​I only like men because of their physical appearance, not because of their personality or other traits

2. ​I want to be in a relationship with someone only to be closer to them, not necessarily for a long term or short term commitment

3. ​I sometimes fantasize about someone, but it would feel disgusting to me if those scenarios actually happened in real life

4. ​The same applies to porn, I do not usually watch it, but if I do, it doesnt disgust me, whereas entering into a real life sexual relationship would disgust me

What am I? Feel free to ask as many questions as you want

i've been struggling with hypersexuality for a long time now. i have difficulty differentiating between sexual attraction and hypersexuality and high libido and all of that. someone gave me an analogy on appetites (and i also vaguely remember one about cake), but i can't recite it verbatim because i don't remember lol. how do you personally know the difference? do you ever get them mixed up (and therefore have identity that correlates)?

Looking for books that feature characters on the a-spec! A few I have already read/added on my TBR list:

1. Loveless (Alice Oseman)
2. Radio Silence (" ")
3. When Martin Ruins it All (Amanda DeWitt)
4. Baker Thief (Claudie Arseneault)
5. Project Hail Mary (Andy Weir)

Ik that the last book doesn't actually HAVE any a-spec representation, but I want to read the fics and book, bc of tumblr (ifykyk ig)

Would love if there is already a post for that, or if this could become a masterpost for that or smth.