We were together 5 years, and he has 3 kids and I’m used to being surrounded by him and the kids. It’s going to be a big adjustment. Any tips to not fall deeper into a depression besides the obvious ones, I know I’ll need to throw myself back into my hobbies. But I still need to grieve for a bit. We broke up a month ago but I’m moving this weekend.
Me and my ex fiancé broke up 3 weeks ago. Originally we got a bengal cat and it was my Christmas present back in 2022, eventually my SO and I broke up because we wanted different things and I felt too guilty to take the cat on top of breaking everyone’s hearts. A year later we got back together because he changed his mind on marriage and having another kid,
the cat had a litter of kittens and only one made it and I paid for her to have a
c-section and spay her which cost me like 5 grand-so she wasn’t going to have another accident. We kept the kitten that made it and now the two are incredibly bonded. I have the same feelings of guilt if I take them but ultimately I’m the one who’s paid for the vet visits and I play with them the most and they are bonded to me as well.
How do I tell the kids this time that I’m taking them?? They already know we broke up, I just haven’t moved yet.
I feel like a bad person to seperate them from the kids but I need the cats, I’m moving to a one bedroom apartment by myself and this is breaking my heart more than all of it now.
I (f33) dated my ex (m44) for 3 years and then we broke up and he claimed he didn’t know what he had till he lost it, and changed his mind about marriage and having kids after dating someone else for a year. I broke up with who I was currently with because I believed it.
Well now after 2 years back together they haven’t changed and they were only doing it for me not because they actually wanted it but fooled me with his words. He’s still avoidant and not supportive not emotionally there just like it was before and now I’m just drained beyond belief. I don’t even want kids anymore. He has 3 kids that i love and doted on and I had to break their hearts for a 2nd time. I’m so disappointed in myself for repeating this shit. I’m 33 now. So much time wasted when I was thriving before he came back. Now I’m worse than I was the first time.
How do I forgive myself.
My fiancé and I broke up 2 weeks ago after 5 years together, mostly because I realized I’m just living someone else’s life, and getting basically nothing in return, he’s 44 and I’m 33. Just wondering if it only dawned on you that you want to be childfree after having a very real taste of what parenthood looks like.
My fiancé and I broke up. I love the children but they are here full time. The bio mom of the twins is not able to take them right now They dont know yet, and I have to move out while they still live here. Is there a way to do this without causing more damage than necessary?
We broke up a week ago and I’m still living here and I can’t even grieve properly.
Im going out of town on the 8th for a week so hoping to at least tell them by then and hopefully move out next weekend. I’ll store my stuff at my mother’s house and then get an apartment after that. SO wants to wait till after the other child’s birthday which is on Thursday to break the news. She’ll be 18 and the other 2 are 11.
Me (33f) and my fiancé (44m) broke up on Saturday. I’m writing this post ad a cautionary tale. As someone who loves their significant other and also the kids. Who is childless thinking love was enough. You can have the best intentions here, thinking things will get better and you’ll adjust. You won’t, you don’t know what’s going to happen. You can have the kids on the weekends, every other week, whatever the situation is, IT COULD CHANGE, if you aren’t willing to accept that you MIGHT have the kids full time, you need to leave, if you can’t accept full time, you need to leave.
My partner’s ex wife died last year and we got her at 16 years old full time, then about a year later, the other ex wife left her abusive relationship and now the other kids have a bad relationship with their mom and have been with us full time for about 2 months. My partner and I broke up Saturday night because he can’t fulfill my needs and take care of 3 girls. I’ve given my all to this relationship since the end of 2020. We’ve had good times and bad times. But I can’t do it anymore, I’m emotionally drained, I’m depressed, I’m drinking more, my dream of traveling was left in the dust. I love his kids but they deserve someone who WANTS to be a plus mom full time.
I (F33) am engaged to a (M44) who has 3 daughters (F17),(F11), and (F11).
The oldest will supposedly be moving out this year or next year to go to college, and she’s been with us full time because her mother died last year.
The twins have been with us full time for about a month because their BM is getting out of an abusive relationship. She is highly unpredictable and not dependable, and she has 7 kids, 2 are out of the house now. She is going to try and get section 8 housing but it would seem that the custody arrangement might be very uncertain for us. She doesn’t have a vehicle to transport 2 11 year olds, a 5 year old and two 3 year olds anymore.
I cannot handle having the twins full time. Having all the kids 50/50 was really my max. I’ve been extremely stressed out and overwhelmed since they been with us even though I try to keep it together.
We’re supposed to move in a couple months and honestly I’m not feeling comfortable signing a lease or even planning a wedding with how bad mentally I’ve been doing. I love him and the kids. It’s just too much for me in the situation we’re in right now.
I’m starting to believe we’re just incompatible but I keep talking myself out of it. I feel responsible for the well being of the kids because their mom has been a shit show for the last 4 years. I’ve been in all their lives for 5 years.
Honestly I miss my freedom and the ability to do things spontaneously with a partner without kids. I have the dreams to travel and it just seems unlikely here.
How do you stop gaslighting yourself and break free even if you love your partner the kids and the cats that you have together. It’s hard to leave it all behind.
I (F33) am engaged to a (M44) who has 3 daughters (F17),(F11), and (F11).
The oldest will supposedly be moving out this year or next year to go to college, and she’s been with us full time because her mother died last year.
The twins have been with us full time for about a month because their BM is getting out of an abusive relationship. She is highly unpredictable and not dependable, and she has 7 kids, 2 are out of the house now. She is going to try and get section 8 housing but it would seem that the custody arrangement might be very uncertain for us. She doesn’t have a vehicle to transport 2 11 year olds, a 5 year old and two 3 year olds anymore.
I cannot handle having the twins full time. Having all the kids 50/50 was really my max. I’ve been extremely stressed out and overwhelmed since they been with us even though I try to keep it together.
We’re supposed to move in a couple months and honestly I’m not feeling comfortable signing a lease or even planning a wedding with how bad mentally I’ve been doing. I love him and the kids. It’s just too much for me in the situation we’re in right now.
I’m starting to believe we’re just incompatible but I keep talking myself out of it. I feel responsible for the well being of the kids because their mom has been a shit show for the last 4 years. I’ve been in all their lives for 5 years.
Honestly I miss my freedom and the ability to do things spontaneously with a partner without kids. I have the dreams to travel and it just seems unlikely here.
How do you stop gaslighting yourself and break free even if you love your partner the kids and the cats that you have together. It’s hard to leave it all behind.
-I’m more depressed
-I’m drinking more
-I’m gaining weight now
-I find myself anxious to come home
-struggling to see a light at the end
-fiancé is avoidant
I’ve (F33) been with a (M44) that has 3 kids for a total of 5 years and I used the think I wanted one with him. Now I don’t want one with him or to have any of my own at all. I actually wish I could have a childfree life now. But the kids birth moms have had quite the year the past year, one died and the other one is now getting out of a ln abusive relationship so the custody isn’t exactly 50/50 right now. we had a break up back in 2023 for about a year because he decided he didn’t want to get married or have more children so I left, and then he changed his mind and I came back, things were still 50/50 when I came back and then everything happened since I’ve been back. We got engaged last year. We hardly have sex anymore, kids are at our house full time. If I had a preview of what was to come I probably wouldn’t have came back. But now the kids rely on me and I’m attached again. Kids are (F17)(F11)(F11)
I’ve never had any personal issues with either of the BMs, but one passed away last year, and the other one has been in and out of inpatient. Last winter was arrested for domestic violence in the presence of a child, and then her fiancé got arrested yesterday for domestic violence for attacking her. (They broke up a week ago)
Don’t worry the kids have been with us all week and they are safe. And they were with us the last time it happened. I personally couldn’t keep them from living there.
This has put a lot of stress on me, just wondering if you would consider this a (HCBM)
As I’m writing this I feel as though she is, even if it isn’t directed towards me. I have to put up with her choices and the consequences. Not know long what custody is going to look like going forward. Things used to be normal and in the span of a year both BMs have had some crazy shit happen.
You think you have 50/50 until you don’t.
Kids are 17 F (1st BM)
11 F, 11 F (2nd BM)
I (F33) am engaged to a single dad (M44) who has three daughters and two different BMs, one died last year from cancer and the other one is now separating from her fiancé so now we’re going from 50/50 to we’ve had all the kids full time until the 2nd BM can get her life back together.
You really never know what’s gonna happen. We’ve been together since 2020 with a break of one year in 2023.
I’m thinking about leaving. Nobody is inherently that bad. I just want a more peaceful life. I don’t have any bio children of my own.
I feel guilt if I leave because they girls have not known a stable mother figure. I’m what they have as far as that. How do you get over the guilt that you want just a partner without kids to live a life childfree. Just after time I’ve realized I’m not happy doing this anymore. Obviously they’ll all move out one day but my mental health has already tanked.