u/Comfortable-Leek9355

Arguments that don’t get resolved

He says that i never change and that he doesn’t care anymore

im 19

Arguments

We argue and he’ll call me names like idiot while i’m trying to resolve what’s happening. I occasionally misread when a situation between us happens and i don’t know how he feels until he’s avoided the topic for multiple days then kind of splurges it out like a volcano of heat. I’m always very careful about what i text and i always agree with him that what i did was wrong, and apologise. Though i always do my best to try and find a solution we can make to stop things from being misinterpreted or getting ghosted for multiple days.

I have told him previously that this affects me and we had a talk in the park about it, to which when i tried to start to conversation he was on his phone watching something and when i asked if he could turn it off so we could talk he said i should wait till the video ends which i did. But i don’t know if he was actually paying attention to what i said…

We ultimately never actually resolve the issue and he says “whatever”and “i don’t care.” which always leaves me feeling really anxious that i could vomit. I never intentionally want to hurt him and i always feel like i have to mentally pinch myself when having a conversation so i don’t do or say something stupid that may offend him. I also have a habit of just rambling in general.

He says that’s i never change and that it’s pointless even though i’ve been trying to better myself by going to the gym, eating healthier and taking my iron, vitamins etc. I’m not perfect and i slack regularly trying to balance toxic parents and school.

But i finally actually went to the gym which was a huge accomplishment and i enjoyed it! From when i would tremble just at thought of the gym, and now i cook myself full meals like platefuls compared to when i used to eat scraps and going to therapy as well, trying to be more level headed. I also really try and resolve these conflicts even offering to go to the park to solve it or on the phone rather than text because i know certain messages may come off completely wrong.

It hurts a lot when he says this because it genuinely makes me feel like all this effort i put in not just for myself but for him as well is obsolete … i never bring it up though since i don’t want to make him feel invalidated to what he’s feeling when he’s upset so i keep it to myself.

The argument will then end with me apologising and then him saying he doesn’t care and i never change, then when i try to nudge us to come to an agreement together he just spams memes or GIFS at me… which isn’t the first time he’s done this this. He says he’s tired and exhausted of me which i said i understand.

Ultimately i never feel 100% sure to tell him what’s on my mind half the time since i just always feel like im the one getting the hear and that i shouldn’t voice anything since im already a hassle and annoying to deal with.

Overall i just want to be able to talk and fix problems that we have instead of burying it in the sand. And be able to voice my emotions more freely.

I’d love to hear some advice, i really need it…

sorry if i come across as an absolute loser it’s been pretty rough recently.

M19 says that i never change and that he doesn’t care anymore F19

Been together for a year and 3 months

Arguments

We argue and he’ll call me names like idiot while i’m trying to resolve what’s happening. I occasionally misread when a situation between us happens and i don’t know how he feels until he’s avoided the topic for multiple days then kind of splurges it out like a volcano of heat. I’m always very careful about what i text and i always agree with him that what i did was wrong, and apologise. Though i always do my best to try and find a solution we can make to stop things from being misinterpreted or getting ghosted for multiple days.

I have told him previously that this affects me and we had a talk in the park about it, to which when i tried to start to conversation he was on his phone watching something and when i asked if he could turn it off so we could talk he said i should wait till the video ends which i did. But i don’t know if he was actually paying attention to what i said…

We ultimately never actually resolve the issue and he says “whatever”and “i don’t care.” which always leaves me feeling really anxious that i could vomit. I never intentionally want to hurt him and i always feel like i have to mentally pinch myself when having a conversation so i don’t do or say something stupid that may offend him. I also have a habit of just rambling in general.

He says that’s i never change and that it’s pointless even though i’ve been trying to better myself by going to the gym, eating healthier and taking my iron, vitamins etc. I’m not perfect and i slack regularly trying to balance toxic parents and school.

But i finally actually went to the gym which was a huge accomplishment and i enjoyed it! From when i would tremble just at thought of the gym, and now i cook myself full meals like platefuls compared to when i used to eat scraps and going to therapy as well, trying to be more level headed. I also really try and resolve these conflicts even offering to go to the park to solve it or on the phone rather than text because i know certain messages may come off completely wrong.

It hurts a lot when he says this because it genuinely makes me feel like all this effort i put in not just for myself but for him as well is obsolete … i never bring it up though since i don’t want to make him feel invalidated to what he’s feeling when he’s upset so i keep it to myself.

The argument will then end with me apologising and then him saying he doesn’t care and i never change, then when i try to nudge us to come to an agreement together he just spams memes or GIFS at me… which isn’t the first time he’s done this this. He says he’s tired and exhausted of me which i said i understand.

Ultimately i never feel 100% sure to tell him what’s on my mind half the time since i just always feel like im the one getting the hear and that i shouldn’t voice anything since im already a hassle and annoying to deal with.

Overall i just want to be able to talk and fix problems that we have instead of burying it in the sand. And be able to voice my emotions more freely.

I’d love to hear some advice, i really need it…

sorry if i come across as an absolute loser it’s been pretty rough recently.

F19 heated arguments M19

Description: I feel like i can’t do anything right in the relationship and that im the bad person?

Been together for a year and 3 months

Money

He takes me out on dates and spends money on me, i have voiced that i get upset because i can’t spend as much on him so it feels unbalanced and he says that it’s okay.I did manage to save up for a guitar he wanted and buy some good bits and bobs. I’ve also been looking for jobs so i’m able to give back.

Arguments

We argue and he’ll call me names like idiot while i’m trying to resolve what’s happening. I occasionally misread when a situation between us happens and i don’t know how he feels until he’s avoided the topic for multiple days then kind of splurges it out like a volcano of heat. I’m always very careful about what i text and i always agree with him that what i did was wrong, and apologise. Though i always do my best to try and find a solution we can make to stop things from being misinterpreted or getting ghosted for multiple days.

I have told him previously that this affects me and we had a talk in the park about it, to which when i tried to start to conversation he was on his phone watching something and when i asked if he could turn it off so we could talk he said i should wait till the video ends which i did. But i don’t know if he was actually paying attention to what i said…

We ultimately never actually resolve the issue and he says “whatever”and “i don’t care.” which always leaves me feeling really anxious that i could vomit. I never intentionally want to hurt him and i always feel like i have to mentally pinch myself when having a conversation so i don’t do or say something stupid that may offend him. I also have a habit of just rambling in general.

He says that’s i never change and that it’s pointless even though i’ve been trying to better myself by going to the gym, eating healthier and taking my iron, vitamins etc. I’m not perfect and i slack regularly trying to balance toxic parents and school.

But i finally actually went to the gym which was a huge accomplishment and i enjoyed it! From when i would tremble just at thought of the gym, and now i cook myself full meals like platefuls compared to when i used to eat scraps and going to therapy as well, trying to be more level headed. I also really try and resolve these conflicts even offering to go to the park to solve it or on the phone rather than text because i know certain messages may come off completely wrong.

It hurts a lot when he says this because it genuinely makes me feel like all this effort i put in not just for myself but for him as well is obsolete … i never bring it up though since i don’t want to make him feel invalidated to what he’s feeling when he’s upset so i keep it to myself.

The argument will then end with me apologising and then him saying he doesn’t care and i never change, then when i try to nudge us to come to an agreement together he just spams memes or GIFS at me… which isn’t the first time he’s done this this. He says he’s tired and exhausted of me which i said i understand.

Ultimately i never feel 100% sure to tell him what’s on my mind half the time since i just always feel like im the one getting the hear and that i shouldn’t voice anything since im already a hassle and annoying to deal with.

TL;DR

Overall i just want to be able to talk and fix problems that we have instead of burying it in the sand. And be able to voice my emotions more freely.

Description: I feel like i can’t do anything right in the relationship and that im the bad person?

Been together for a year and 3 months

Money

- He takes me out on dates and spends money on me, i have voiced that i get upset because i can’t spend as much on him so it feels unbalanced and he says that it’s okay.I did manage to save up for a guitar he wanted and buy some good bits and bobs. I’ve also been looking for jobs so i’m able to give back.

Arguments

- We argue and he’ll call me names like idiot while i’m trying to resolve what’s happening. I occasionally misread when a situation between us happens and i don’t know how he feels until he’s avoided the topic for multiple days then kind of splurges it out like a volcano of heat. I’m always very careful about what i text and i always agree with him that what i did was wrong, and apologise. Though i always do my best to try and find a solution we can make to stop things from being misinterpreted or getting ghosted for multiple days.

I have told him previously that this affects me and we had a talk in the park about it, to which when i tried to start to conversation he was on his phone watching something and when i asked if he could turn it off so we could talk he said i should wait till the video ends which i did. But i don’t know if he was actually paying attention to what i said…

We ultimately never actually resolve the issue and he says “whatever”and “i don’t care.” which always leaves me feeling really anxious that i could vomit. I never intentionally want to hurt him and i always feel like i have to mentally pinch myself when having a conversation so i don’t do or say something stupid that may offend him. I also have a habit of just rambling in general.

He says that’s i never change and that it’s pointless even though i’ve been trying to better myself by going to the gym, eating healthier and taking my iron, vitamins etc. I’m not perfect and i slack regularly trying to balance toxic parents and school.

But i finally actually went to the gym which was a huge accomplishment and i enjoyed it! From when i would tremble just at thought of the gym, and now i cook myself full meals like platefuls compared to when i used to eat scraps and going to therapy as well, trying to be more level headed. I also really try and resolve these conflicts even offering to go to the park to solve it or on the phone rather than text because i know certain messages may come off completely wrong.

It hurts a lot when he says this because it genuinely makes me feel like all this effort i put in not just for myself but for him as well is obsolete … i never bring it up though since i don’t want to make him feel invalidated to what he’s feeling when he’s upset so i keep it to myself.

The argument will then end with me apologising and then him saying he doesn’t care and i never change, then when i try to nudge us to come to an agreement together he just spams memes or GIFS at me… which isn’t the first time he’s done this this. He says he’s tired and exhausted of me which i said i understand.

Ultimately i never feel 100% sure to tell him what’s on my mind half the time since i just always feel like im the one getting the hear and that i shouldn’t voice anything since im already a hassle and annoying to deal with.

TL;DR

Overall i just want to be able to talk and fix problems that we have instead of burying it in the sand. And be able to voice my emotions more freely.

Description: I feel like i can’t do anything right in the relationship and that im the bad person?

Been together for a year and 3 months

Money

- He takes me out on dates and spends money on me, i have voiced that i get upset because i can’t spend as much on him so it feels unbalanced and he says that it’s okay.I did manage to save up for a guitar he wanted and buy some good bits and bobs. I’ve also been looking for jobs so i’m able to give back.

Arguments

- We argue and he’ll call me names like idiot while i’m trying to resolve what’s happening. I occasionally misread when a situation between us happens and i don’t know how he feels until he’s avoided the topic for multiple days then kind of splurges it out like a volcano of heat. I’m always very careful about what i text and i always agree with him that what i did was wrong, and apologise. Though i always do my best to try and find a solution we can make to stop things from being misinterpreted or getting ghosted for multiple days.

I have told him previously that this affects me and we had a talk in the park about it, to which when i tried to start to conversation he was on his phone watching something and when i asked if he could turn it off so we could talk he said i should wait till the video ends which i did. But i don’t know if he was actually paying attention to what i said…

We ultimately never actually resolve the issue and he says “whatever”and “i don’t care.” which always leaves me feeling really anxious that i could vomit. I never intentionally want to hurt him and i always feel like i have to mentally pinch myself when having a conversation so i don’t do or say something stupid that may offend him. I also have a habit of just rambling in general.

He says that’s i never change and that it’s pointless even though i’ve been trying to better myself by going to the gym, eating healthier and taking my iron, vitamins etc. I’m not perfect and i slack regularly trying to balance toxic parents and school.

But i finally actually went to the gym which was a huge accomplishment and i enjoyed it! From when i would tremble just at thought of the gym, and now i cook myself full meals like platefuls compared to when i used to eat scraps and going to therapy as well, trying to be more level headed. I also really try and resolve these conflicts even offering to go to the park to solve it or on the phone rather than text because i know certain messages may come off completely wrong.

It hurts a lot when he says this because it genuinely makes me feel like all this effort i put in not just for myself but for him as well is obsolete … i never bring it up though since i don’t want to make him feel invalidated to what he’s feeling when he’s upset so i keep it to myself.

The argument will then end with me apologising and then him saying he doesn’t care and i never change, then when i try to nudge us to come to an agreement together he just spams memes or GIFS at me… which isn’t the first time he’s done this this. He says he’s tired and exhausted of me which i said i understand.

Ultimately i never feel 100% sure to tell him what’s on my mind half the time since i just always feel like im the one getting the hear and that i shouldn’t voice anything since im already a hassle and annoying to deal with.

TL;DR

Overall i just want to be able to talk and fix problems that we have instead of burying it in the sand. And be able to voice my emotions more freely.

Description: I feel like i can’t do anything right in the relationship and that im the bad person?

Been together for a year and 3 months

Money

- He takes me out on dates and spends money on me, i have voiced that i get upset because i can’t spend as much on him so it feels unbalanced and he says that it’s okay.I did manage to save up for a guitar he wanted and buy some good bits and bobs. I’ve also been looking for jobs so i’m able to give back.

Arguments

- We argue and he’ll call me names like idiot while i’m trying to resolve what’s happening. I occasionally misread when a situation between us happens and i don’t know how he feels until he’s avoided the topic for multiple days then kind of splurges it out like a volcano of heat. I’m always very careful about what i text and i always agree with him that what i did was wrong, and apologise. Though i always do my best to try and find a solution we can make to stop things from being misinterpreted or getting ghosted for multiple days.

I have told him previously that this affects me and we had a talk in the park about it, to which when i tried to start to conversation he was on his phone watching something and when i asked if he could turn it off so we could talk he said i should wait till the video ends which i did. But i don’t know if he was actually paying attention to what i said…

We ultimately never actually resolve the issue and he says “whatever”and “i don’t care.” which always leaves me feeling really anxious that i could vomit. I never intentionally want to hurt him and i always feel like i have to mentally pinch myself when having a conversation so i don’t do or say something stupid that may offend him. I also have a habit of just rambling in general.

He says that’s i never change and that it’s pointless even though i’ve been trying to better myself by going to the gym, eating healthier and taking my iron, vitamins etc. I’m not perfect and i slack regularly trying to balance toxic parents and school.

But i finally actually went to the gym which was a huge accomplishment and i enjoyed it! From when i would tremble just at thought of the gym, and now i cook myself full meals like platefuls compared to when i used to eat scraps and going to therapy as well, trying to be more level headed. I also really try and resolve these conflicts even offering to go to the park to solve it or on the phone rather than text because i know certain messages may come off completely wrong.

It hurts a lot when he says this because it genuinely makes me feel like all this effort i put in not just for myself but for him as well is obsolete … i never bring it up though since i don’t want to make him feel invalidated to what he’s feeling when he’s upset so i keep it to myself.

The argument will then end with me apologising and then him saying he doesn’t care and i never change, then when i try to nudge us to come to an agreement together he just spams memes or GIFS at me… which isn’t the first time he’s done this this. He says he’s tired and exhausted of me which i said i understand.

Ultimately i never feel 100% sure to tell him what’s on my mind half the time since i just always feel like im the one getting the hear and that i shouldn’t voice anything since im already a hassle and annoying to deal with.

TL;DR

Overall i just want to be able to talk and fix problems that we have instead of burying it in the sand. And be able to voice my emotions more freely.