r/INTJfemale

I was listening to Carl Jung’s descriptions in his ‘psychological types’ and what he was trying to describe clicked a lot more for me vs mbti’s pointed conversational style explanations. It seems he was not talking about these patterns like rigid stacks but more so the psych can organise around a dominant function and in doing so it distorts all other functions. ….BUT what confuses me is his description of Ni and in an interview he talks about a woman discussing having ‘snakes in her belly’ and how she went to him using this symbolic language and after seeing her for awhile the ‘snakes went away’. Surely, this isn’t a common way for people with Ni to talk? I know it was the 1950s but surely. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk like that. Anyway, what do y’all think? I think these are genuine patterns in how people think but it seems MBTI is some corporate watered down interpretation (brooding old man using spreadsheet for love life) but then Jungs description of Ni loose me there too. What do you guys experience? Relate to about the descriptions?

M19 says that i never change and that he doesn’t care anymore F19

Been together for a year and 3 months

Arguments

We argue and he’ll call me names like idiot while i’m trying to resolve what’s happening. I occasionally misread when a situation between us happens and i don’t know how he feels until he’s avoided the topic for multiple days then kind of splurges it out like a volcano of heat. I’m always very careful about what i text and i always agree with him that what i did was wrong, and apologise. Though i always do my best to try and find a solution we can make to stop things from being misinterpreted or getting ghosted for multiple days.

I have told him previously that this affects me and we had a talk in the park about it, to which when i tried to start to conversation he was on his phone watching something and when i asked if he could turn it off so we could talk he said i should wait till the video ends which i did. But i don’t know if he was actually paying attention to what i said…

We ultimately never actually resolve the issue and he says “whatever”and “i don’t care.” which always leaves me feeling really anxious that i could vomit. I never intentionally want to hurt him and i always feel like i have to mentally pinch myself when having a conversation so i don’t do or say something stupid that may offend him. I also have a habit of just rambling in general.

He says that’s i never change and that it’s pointless even though i’ve been trying to better myself by going to the gym, eating healthier and taking my iron, vitamins etc. I’m not perfect and i slack regularly trying to balance toxic parents and school.

But i finally actually went to the gym which was a huge accomplishment and i enjoyed it! From when i would tremble just at thought of the gym, and now i cook myself full meals like platefuls compared to when i used to eat scraps and going to therapy as well, trying to be more level headed. I also really try and resolve these conflicts even offering to go to the park to solve it or on the phone rather than text because i know certain messages may come off completely wrong.

It hurts a lot when he says this because it genuinely makes me feel like all this effort i put in not just for myself but for him as well is obsolete … i never bring it up though since i don’t want to make him feel invalidated to what he’s feeling when he’s upset so i keep it to myself.

The argument will then end with me apologising and then him saying he doesn’t care and i never change, then when i try to nudge us to come to an agreement together he just spams memes or GIFS at me… which isn’t the first time he’s done this this. He says he’s tired and exhausted of me which i said i understand.

Ultimately i never feel 100% sure to tell him what’s on my mind half the time since i just always feel like im the one getting the hear and that i shouldn’t voice anything since im already a hassle and annoying to deal with.

Overall i just want to be able to talk and fix problems that we have instead of burying it in the sand. And be able to voice my emotions more freely.

I’d love to hear some advice, i really need it…

sorry if i come across as an absolute loser it’s been pretty rough recently.

I have always thought of myself as an achiever. I am a 1w2-3w2 on the enneagram so that will give you a hint.

I know I'm not the smartest but I am strategic and resourceful. Maybe my environment hasn't given me the best standard, maybe I really am not part of the cream of the crop but I feel so anxious because I do not understand why my partner is with me.

He is a well decorated, internationally acclaimed figure in his field and his star is continuously rising. His ex has an MBA from one of the worlds top3 schools and works at one of the worlds largest tech companies and earns 4x more than what I do.

Although I get by, I'm always just scraping by to be called good.

Idk why I'm posting this here but I just feel so crippled now I feel like I am going to implode.