Please, don’t judge me(43m). So, i've been with the love of my life(40f) for 7 years (talking about my ex). I've been with my current wife(41f) for 16 years. The break up wasn't mutual, and I didn't want it, so i don't feel like moving on and stop loving her is a requirement.
It was always clear for me that if ever my ex wanted to give it another try, I'd leave my wife in a heartbeat and won't look back. I'd actually give everything up (I mean everything, including my life) for one more day with her. I always knew that I settled with my wife, I didn't "fall in love". She was never going to be my number one, that spot is forever taken. Yes, I'd sacrifice her to save my ex (not my kid though).
Anyway, we had an argument yesterday and my son(12m) heard everything. Then, he asked me what is going on between me and mom. I don't know why I said it, but I straight up told him that his mom isn't and never was the one I loved the most, my ex is still the one I love even after 19 years apart.
He started crying and I think he wants to tell his mom. Whatever, but I feel like hurting him wasn't a good idea and I should have taken that secret to the grave.