u/Brief_Plenty_4238

19F and I know I’m conveniently attractive. Ive never had a bf or gf before due to my depression. I thought that I should wait for the right person for my first time, make sure it’s someone I love who loves me back. but I’m older now and dating apps exist. should I just hook up with someone and get it over with? it doesn’t look like I’m getting into a relationship anytime soon, and being a virgin at my age with no dating/sex experience kinda sucks. I’d rather have my first time be with someone special but Idk if I care anymore. I just want the dopamine hit.

I’m so tired of hearing “it will get better, it will get better, it will get better” over and over and over again. I’m 19 graduating in two weeks. I have no college plans, just move to Portland and see what happens. If things don’t ”get better” who knows what will happen to me.

I have no energy to care anymore. I’m so close to ending it. If things dont change for the better, that might be what pushes me to the edge

today I decided to kill myself. I was going to go to Home Depot to buy a rope, but before I could buy anything, I opened my account and saw that I had zero dollars in my checking account. While I did have more than enough money in my savings, this was alarming enough to snap me out of my plan to call the bank to fix the issue.

Holy fuck yall are so lucky that that BREEZE mental health app quiz (which is a scam btw. Evil people profiting off mental illness and tricking you into a monthly 15-30 dollar subscription) wrapped me up in this BS because if I had at least $10 in my account, who knows what I would’ve done with the rope I was gonna buy today. I don’t think this is a sign or a reason to keep going, but whatever guardian angel is watching out for me really does not want me to end it and that frustrates me. I don’t have the energy to find a way to get enough money to buy a rope because I just canceled my card and it won’t be coming in until 5 to 7 business days. Therefore, I can’t use the card until I get the new one. Or maybe I can. I’m just too exhausted to find a way to get money from my account.

All I have to say to whatever invisible force is trying to stop me from whatever I’m doing is working overtime.

19F. I tried to love myself. I really did. I tried with everything I could. I can’t do it, I have nothing left in me. all I wanted was someone else to help. I wanted a romantic partner. I know it wouldn’t fix me but it would help. I wanted someone to come home to and feel safe with. I wanted that rush and surge of love that overwhelms you and makes all the pain and suffering worth it. I’m not a bad person, I’m somewhat functional. I get through the day one way or another and get the important things done when push comes to shove. I’m not ugly, I’m not perfect but I know I’m not evil enough to be undeserving of a relationship. i have friends but it’s not enough, I want a lover to feel cherished by. I love my friends but I crave romantic love. I crave being seen as worth the trouble and sadness. I just want someone who loves me and I love them. I get so jealous to the point it hurts when I see a couple out and about. it’s all I want, all I crave. I just want someone who helps me, saves me from this unbearable pain. other people have it, why can’t I?

Hey everyone. I'm 19F graduating high school this June. Lately, I've been realizing how lacking my skills are. I've been battling depression and crippling anxiety for the past 3 years, and I've noticed a strong mental decline in my thoughts, knowledge, IQ, writing, spelling, memory, mental math, and critical thinking skills. I was a good student my Sophomore year, but when Junior year hit, I hit an all time low. I was very depressed and only stayed in bed rotting using those ai chatbots to cope with my social anxiety and loneliness. I'm very ashamed of this addiction I developed. Because of this, I was behind in my assignments and used AI Gemini to catch up. Pretty soon, it became my crutch, and now it's the only thing I use to get by. I know what AI does to the brain and how harmful it is, "AI psychosis" and everything, but AI in general just ruined my life since it became open to the public. My brain is mush now, and I don't know if I should blame depression, laziness, AI, or what. All I know is that I want the old me back. The old me that loved to draw and make art and had even just a little more energy to not get burned out by everything that asks me to think.

What do I do? Please be kind.

Hello everyone. I'm a 19F graduating this month and working at a juice bar. I've been working again since late March of this year, and all I've experienced is crippling anxiety. I've always had anxiety because of my living conditions growing up, but as I've gotten older, it's only gotten worse. At school I'm always thinking about how I'm perceived. "Did I say something wrong or offensive?" "Am I trying too hard?" "Do people think I'm too weird or depressed?" At work, it's the same story. I have this anxiety/depression/self-deprecating voice in my head telling me that my manager thinks I'm annoying, that I'm a burden to my coworkers, and that I'm a pain to work with after little mistakes like a slip-up at the register. I try to combat it, telling myself it's just "the evil version of me" telling me this, but it genuinely exhausts me, and I feel like everyone from the people I work with to kids at school can tell I'm a mental wreck of a woman walking around the world trying to hide it.

I have a therapist and a psychiatrist while being on meds, although I'm still trying to figure out which one will help me. My mom completely detaches herself from my mental health challenges, and my dad tries to console me, but he misses the mark most of the time. Talking with my friends about my heavy issues feels like I'm burdening them or even pushing them away because, to be honest, I just feel sad and anxious all the time. I've tried to date, but my anxiety has stopped me from committing to a relationship or putting myself out there in fear of letting myself or others down with my struggles. I feel very alone.

What should I do? Any help is appreciated, but please be kind. I feel fragile as of late.

Hello everyone. I'm a 19F graduating this month and working at a juice bar. I've been working again since late March of this year, and all I've experienced is crippling anxiety. I've always had anxiety because of my living conditions growing up, but as I've gotten older, it's only gotten worse. At school I'm always thinking about how I'm perceived. "Did I say something wrong or offensive?" "Am I trying too hard?" "Do people think I'm too weird or depressed?" At work, it's the same story. I have this anxiety/depression/self-deprecating voice in my head telling me that my manager thinks I'm annoying, that I'm a burden to my coworkers, and that I'm a pain to work with after little mistakes like a slip-up at the register. I try to combat it, telling myself it's just "the evil version of me" telling me this, but it genuinely exhausts me, and I feel like everyone from the people I work with to kids at school can tell I'm a mental wreck of a woman walking around the world trying to hide it.

I have a therapist and a psychiatrist while being on meds, although I'm still trying to figure out which one will help me. My mom completely detaches herself from my mental health challenges, and my dad tries to console me, but he misses the mark most of the time. Talking with my friends about my heavy issues feels like I'm burdening them or even pushing them away because, to be honest, I just feel sad and anxious all the time. I've tried to date, but my anxiety has stopped me from committing to a relationship or putting myself out there in fear of letting myself or others down with my struggles. I feel very alone.

What should I do? Any help is appreciated, but please be kind. I feel fragile as of late.

I'm 19F graduating high school this month. Today, I decided to go on Hinge, and after matching with a guy and giving him my number, I realized my situation and how impossible it is to date for me right now. You see, I'm working hard to move to Portland by fall this year and mentioned that in my profile. I don't want to just hook up with someone because I'd hate for that to be my first time being intimate with another person. I also can't commit to long term unless someone wants to spend the summer together and break it off when I move. So when I'm telling the guy my preferences, he gets frustrated, and I guess I see why; it's impossible for me to get anything out of dating with the goals I set for myself. So I've come to finally realize this is just not what life has in store for me right now and put my new account on pause.

The thing is, watching everyone as a wallflower for years, from my classmates in high school to people out and about in the real world, being so in love or talking about their exes and love/sex lives has really started to piss me off now since I've given myself no opportunities to get in on some action. I get this internal envy and thoughts like 'How did everyone get lucky and not me?'. I could chalk it up to many different reasons, but it's probably just going to make me more depressed. I know I should stop being so desperate and focus on being that 'independent woman with big goals,' but I still feel lonely and crave connection. It genuinely hurts my feelings and feels like the world wants to taunt me no matter what I try to distract myself with: work, hobbies, games, and school. I wish I were stronger than this because I'm starting to feel desperate, and I don't want that.

What should I do? How can I let this go for now?

I'm 19, bisexual, and have been told many times I'd have no trouble finding a partner. Ironically, it's been nothing but trouble. I've never dated anyone in my life, onlly said yes to a few guys in the past just because I thought it was all I was going to get. I've been very lonely and socially anxious throughout all of high school and I want to change that. How can I increase my chances and luck when it comes to finding the right person for me sooner than later?