u/BriefBranch7875

after putting it off, i went ahead and blocked my ex best friend, i did it to stop them from taking a peek into my life that they aren’t apart of anymore. i think i’m ready to let go, i don’t see myself reaching out to you just because i’m lonely, or that you meant so much than you’ll ever know, and how much i care, i think about how you discarded me so easily, or how you don’t even see me as a friend, so why sit in this grief? yet still a little hope you will come back through the cracks

i didn’t experience abuse as bad as fp’s tend to, or so i think, i don’t know if it was all done on their private account—it makes it harder to move on because i still love this person as a best friend, despite the discard and conflict. but i have to let this one go because i don’t see them as they want (romantic partner) and i don’t want to think about the consequences of me really leaving. weather they’re seeing me as the bad guy, how hurt they must be, i don’t want to know. i just want my friend back but they aren’t and it’s sad. idk what to do i want to disappear completely and delete it all but i can’t bring myself how

i never felt so close to someone as much as i did with them, we spent hours together and i really thought this one would last forever. i had abandonment issues early into the relationship, way before i even found out they had bpd, i mentioned first how i didn’t want to be left alone and for them to not leave me. they were my main source of connection during tough times, growth, and phases, our bond was so strong and special to me.

now that we aren’t on talking terms i just feel this hollow grief, and longing. i was discarded but i put an end to a cycle from even forming, by disappearing during pulling in attempts. they were actually working and i might’ve even wanted to try going further with them like they wanted. but i didn’t. our end was so messy, there were things i didn’t get to say.

i know it’s causing them pain but i can’t give them what they want. it doesn’t stop me from thinking about them every day, memories replaying in my mind.. i’m surprised i endured this far apart from them. how can i move on from someone i still have attachment to alone.

as someone with no friends i wonder if i’m too much to him who is avoidant. i think it’s safe to say my own attachment style is similar to his or maybe secure but i always had a little fear i’d do something that’d set him off, like give the impression that i rely on him or something, that it’s a responsibility for him to be my friend. which i tried to not do! i don’t know, perhaps it’s inevitable since i do only hang out with him, i wonder if a day will come where he’ll discard me. i haven’t reached out since the silence from his end, it could be possible he really left. i’m cool with not talking but i hope we’re still friends

These past few months have been really tough. Losing my only best friend has left a quiet that feels overwhelming at times. It reminds me of the kind of loneliness I felt growing up, and it’s been taking me back. I’ve been isolated and unsure of myself. I think I’m not a good person, weird, and unlovable

These past few months have been really tough. Losing my only best friend has left a quiet that feels overwhelming at times. It reminds me of the kind of loneliness I felt growing up, and it’s been taking me back. I’ve been isolated and unsure of myself. I think I’m not a good person, weird, unlovable

i do this stupid thing where i check the accounts that obviously follow them instead of theirs directly and see tagging and them having fun with best friends and it makes my heart ache a little knowing that isn’t me. i thought i was your friend. maybe i want that kinda dynamic with people but why’d i have to be the quiet one with no one, i’m envious they have each other to help get over me but i have myself

i find myself missing the very person i’m trying to let go of-when i’m especially lonely, wanting connection but i’m left all by myself. they left me first but i finished it. i miss my best friend but it’s going to be okay, it’s for the best if we don’t reconnect even if i wish things were different. sometimes letting go feels difficult but other times i’m at peace