u/AlfhildsShieldmaiden

▲ 4 r/CPTSD

Told off my mom on Mother’s Day

I’ve been NC with my mom for over a year now, except for one time I was so desperate that I asked for financial help with 5% interest, and she refused me.

I’m not sure what came over me, but drinking + poor impulse control played a big part.

I’m a bit scared to look at what I sent. Everything I said was true, and I sent one or two follow-up emails, in one of which I said “fuck you for…”

She’s blocked from contacting me, so no idea if there was any reply. I did get a text from my 25-year-old sister still living and working with my mom: Dude, what the fuck was that about?

My sister’s life trajectory is night and day from my own. She’s led an incredibly charmed life compared to mine, so she doesn’t get it, and likely never will.

When I woke up to that text and remembered what I’d done, I had a sense of panic and ‘oh, fuck, what did I do’, but then I remembered that I’m free! I’ve divorced myself entirely from her, and there will be no consequences that I care about. She can do nothing to me at this point. She’s not been my mother for decades, and if the truth hurts, then that’s her fucking problem.

I’m kinda proud of myself. That initial panic was old, a habit from the before times, and it feels amazing when I think about how I actually don’t care about her opinions or reactions or whatever.

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u/AlfhildsShieldmaiden — 3 days ago
▲ 7 r/fo76

Regardless of the game, I’m that gamer that is always carrying way too much stuff. I usually find ways to deal and work around it, but I can’t figure out how to pare down in FO76 so that I’m able to fast travel.

I’ve been playing this game for over a year now and I’ve never once been able to fast travel. 😂 FO First isn’t in my current budget, so I’m literally walking everywhere and it’s getting old.

Even when I’m only carrying two weapons and the armor I’m wearing, I’m massively overweight. I assume I’m carrying too much junk, but I don’t understand how I’m supposed to maintain a scrap inventory when my stash can only hold so much?

Please, O Wise Ones, tell me your secrets!

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u/AlfhildsShieldmaiden — 10 days ago

My last relationship ended a year ago and it’s been drought conditions ever since. I don’t get a lot of matches that lead to dates, but happened to have two dates this week where I left feeling like I’d nailed it and thought the feeling was mutual.

I was crushed yesterday to discover the high-chemistry date was.. not?

And then just a bit ago, a date I’d felt great about earlier in the week, same thing. Had a good time, liked me, not feeling romantic connection, blahblah.

I’m feeling pretty shit about myself currently. 😔

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u/AlfhildsShieldmaiden — 12 days ago

I’ve been encountering a lot of bots/fake profiles on HER, so I did a reverse image search of my match’s profile photos because I kept thinking she was too good to be true, but also her messages seemed human so I I had some hope.

I kinda wish I hadn’t because holy fuck and now I have to pretend I know nothing. She’s a psychiatrist specializing in youth mental health, schizophrenia in particular. She went to Harvard and she’s been published 60+ times. Plus jfc, she’s *hawt*.

Really fighting impostor syndrome right now. 😅

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u/AlfhildsShieldmaiden — 17 days ago