r/tryingforanother

I wanna be cool and fun and just enjoy life right now and randomly realize that we're gonna have another baby! But in reality the control freak and planning monster crawls out from the back of the bathroom closet with a LH test strip telling me that tracking one cycle won't hurt just to have a better idea of when I'm ovulating now that my cycle has changed PP! Then just like an addict, I'm huddled in the bathroom checking my pee every morning trying to play chill when my husband randomly walks in. I'm now full blown tracking and obsessing and we didn't even pull the goalie for a whole month before my TTC gremlin came out. I imagine my gremlin is like those things in Bigmouth. Anyone else?

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

I'm TTC our second child, I turned 39 last month. We are going on cycle 5 this month. We had a chemical on cycle 2.

I know it’s recommended to wait 6 months before getting testing/considering assistance, but given my age, I reached out to an IVF clinic right after the chemical in February.

We are still getting tests done over the next weeks including my husbands SA. And we are meeting with the doctor next month to discuss the result.

But since I got the results back for this particular panel, I was curious to ask this community about their experience if they’ve been in my shoes.

AMH: 1.45 ng/mL
Estradiol: 51.8 pg/mL
FSH: 9.8 mIU/mL

My main concern right now is whether my husband and I should just jump straight into IVF. Or continue to try naturally.

The government will cover 1 round. And we only have the budget for 1 round out of pocket. So we’re realistically looking at 2 rounds. Which I’ve read can sometimes not even be enough for a woman my age.

Part of me doesn't want any medical intervention at all; to just continue trying naturally, with a cutoff of summer 2027 if it hasn't happened. Then it's not meant to happen.

The other side of me weirdly wants to just jump in with two feet into IVF. Just make it happen as swiftly as possible.

It's this in between of deciding is giving me a lot of stress and anxiety.

I was hoping the labs would give us a bit more clarity on the best course of action.

Ok this is probably super weird but I’m just feeling in an emotional pickle and looking for support or advice.

My partner has struggled with performance anxiety since we started TTC#2. Any other time of the month he’s fine but as soon as we enter the fertile window he has trouble getting and maintaining an erection. I’ve tried not telling him the fertile window but I think he can just sense/tell by my behavior (we’ve been together 14 years).

We were both raised very Christian/conservative and have some ingrained subconscious thoughts around sex/masturbation/porn etc so I think that plays into it too. This month we decided to try a recommendation from someone on here to just get him as close as possible to ejaculation then I come in at the last minute. It worked twice during the fertile window, one time with him using stimulating images to get to that point.

I guess I’m feeling a little guilty that if we conceive this time that our baby wasn’t made in some magical love making situation. That it was super “factory” and just to get the job done. Idk why I have that bias, but I guess I’m looking for support from anyone who may have been in a similar situation.

I didn’t expect TTC for another baby to feel emotionally this complicated. On one hand, I feel incredibly grateful to already have a child. On the other hand, every unsuccessful cycle still hurts more than I want to admit, and then I immediately feel guilty for even being upset about it.

I also think I underestimated how hard it is to TTC while parenting at the same time. Between exhaustion, schedules, interrupted sleep, and just constantly being needed by someone else, it feels very different from TTC the first time around. Some days I’m calm about it, and other days I find myself spiraling over timing, symptoms, and whether something is wrong because it isn’t happening as quickly this time... this version of TTC feels emotionally very different than I expected.

A weekly dedicated space for members who have been trying for another for 12 or more months, experiencing infertility. Talk of treatment, testing/diagnosis, or tough feelings are welcome here. While this is a safe space to vent, please consider how other long haulers in different circumstances may feel about your words.

This thread is primarily for current long-haulers to connect with, vent to, and support each other. We ask that anyone else (including TFA grads and those whose current round of TTC has been less than 12 months) participate only to answer questions where your personal experience is relevant - for example, if someone asks about the side effects of a fertility treatment you have tried. For more general support, sympathy, and finger-crossing, in this thread, if you have not currently been trying for at least 12 months, please stick to a quiet upvote.

This thread is not meant to limit discussion only to this thread. Discussion of long haul issues is always welcome in the Daily Chat.

Looking to hear coping strategies from others who are struggling with secondary infertility.

I feel like i live in an in between space or a purgatory where i am spiraling downward with my infertility but its secondary, i already have a kid, so im not allowed to really express it or no one really gets this place that i am since i do have a child.

* How are you not constantly angry and resentful that your body worked just fine at one point and now it’s failing you ?

* How are you balancing being a present mom to your first while attending a million fertility appointments, taking hormones that make you crazy, and feeling depressed over your unexplained diagnosis?

I have been TTC for #2 for 23 months. I have been diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility. We had absolutely zero issues conceiving baby 1, it was easy actually. Aside from a few minor issues that were fixed within our first year of trying, everything has been officially “normal” and “perfect (in the words of the surgeon who did my hysteroscopy)” since November.

Since November i have done 4 medicated and monitored cycles back to back followed by 2 iuis. All obviously failed and i am feeling so incredibly burnt out and depressed. To top it all off all these cycles since November required me to be at the clinic multiple times per week for monitoring and blood work causing me to miss functions for my first child. The hormones also make me a raging witch, and i feel i have been short with him.

I committed to 3 iuis so as i was planning for this months the clinic told me to start and come in on Mother’s Day and i sort of lost it. I realized i have missed so much since November with my first child- there is absolutely no way im going in on Mother’s Day. Also I’m feeling like i may never get to experience motherhood again so i need to be present for everything with my first, i can’t afford to miss more.

I declined the 3rd iui and said i would try to July but my close friend told me if i really wanted another baby id have made it work out this month during Mother’s Day i just changed my priorities. It Stung.

Im sorry this is so long i just dont know where else to share this. Really hoping for advice from other secondary infertility mothers

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

I have a beautiful, healthy 6‑year‑old son, which was a wonderful surprise. We’ve been trying for a second child for the past 1.5 years without success—natural conception hasn’t worked, and three IUI cycles have failed. I was diagnosed with endometriosis and a hydrosalpinx, which will need to be surgically corrected after the egg‑retrieval cycle. Consequently, we’re now starting IVF in a luteal‑phase protocol.

For anyone who has been through a similar journey, did you experience “back‑off” thoughts? I’m highly motivated one week, and the next I’m questioning everything. How do you cope with this limbo? It’s scary as the treatment date approaches. I do want another child, but I’m weighing the emotional and physical costs, as well as the lengths I’ll have to go. The feeling is just overwhelming.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

Kiddo turned three this week, and I turn 44 in a couple of weeks. We've discussed the last cycle being our final attempt as I'm almost 44, but I don't know how we actually reconcile to that decision. We got pregnant easily with the first and stupidly assumed we would be able to have a second. Five of the mums I was pregnant with now have second babies and I spent a long time making excuses as avoiding them last year. I can still only face it in controlled situations.

I'm so torn. I'm so sick and tired of being in limbo and feeling like life is on hold. But the alternative is facing the fact that there won't be another baby.

Anyone got anything helpful or stories to share?

Has anyone suffered this trying for a second or more child? I had a baby 4 years ago, and didn’t even try for him. He was a total surprise and everything went fine. This time though, we seem to conceive every time and very quickly it fades away. I’ve come to expect it now. I’ve had 4 chemicals in 6 months. I’ve had bloods done, the only thing that came back a concern was very low ferritin, came back as 8. I’m on tablets but I’ve struggled to get it back up since it plummeted in my last pregnancy. Can anyone relate? Or offer anything that helped them? Just feeling stuck. I am 34.

A weekly dedicated space for members who have been trying for another for 12 or more months, experiencing infertility. Talk of treatment, testing/diagnosis, or tough feelings are welcome here. While this is a safe space to vent, please consider how other long haulers in different circumstances may feel about your words.

This thread is primarily for current long-haulers to connect with, vent to, and support each other. We ask that anyone else (including TFA grads and those whose current round of TTC has been less than 12 months) participate only to answer questions where your personal experience is relevant - for example, if someone asks about the side effects of a fertility treatment you have tried. For more general support, sympathy, and finger-crossing, in this thread, if you have not currently been trying for at least 12 months, please stick to a quiet upvote.

This thread is not meant to limit discussion only to this thread. Discussion of long haul issues is always welcome in the Daily Chat.

Note: Discussion of BFPs / ongoing pregnancies is allowed and encouraged in this thread!

A dedicated space for TFA grads to check in and keep their TFA friends updated on their journey to #2+!

If you're looking for more discussion, please head over to the gradsofTFA subreddit as well. It's a private subreddit so you can send a modmail using desktop or you can directly message moderators DreamsofCheesecake or youcango-now to be added.

Currently feeling a bit deflated after my period arrived just 6 days after I apparently ovulated. Apparently breastfeeding could be the cause.

It took us many years to conceive our son, eventually with fertility drug letrezole to help ovulation and regulate periods. I'm almost 36 and we'd really like to have another baby. Since my periods returned 6 months post partum I've ovulated naturally 5 times but have had a ridiculously short luteal phase of about 6-7 days. We did try giving him formula in the day for a couple of months and my luteal phase did lengthen but I didn't get pregnant and I missed the closeness and convenience of breastfeeding in the day so went back. Given letrezole fixed the issue last time it's likely to be a good route to try this time. However it can't be taken whilst breastfeeding.

Our son is nearly a year old now and I thought we'd be well on our way to weaning off the boob but he's showing no sign of stopping anytime soon. He's recently learnt to sign for milk which makes it even harder to say no. He eats lots of solids, 3 big meals, and milk in the day and still wakes up once at night for a feed. I'd say he's having 4-6 feeds a day, though not always big feeds. I only give him milk when he asks. Recently he was ill and I was reminded how useful breastfeeding is for soothing a poorly baby.

I'm not expecting the internet to tell me what to do but would love to hear from others in similar predicaments or who made a decision like this. Given it took us years to conceive I'm hesitant to delay but at the same time I could be prematurely stopping our bf journey with no pregnancy to show for it for many years.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

As title states. Looking to chat with others dealing with the same sadness and disappointment and how you are dealing with it. I have two beautiful children aged 9 and (soon to be) 6 who I am beyond grateful for. But I thought that age gap was pushing it (though alas, it is all good and well). We have been ttc our third for a year now and at this point, even if we conceived this cycle the age gap would be 10 and nearly 7 and it’s starting to feel like the moment is passing but I wish desperately that it wasn’t. To be completely honest, I’d love 4 but looking like we may not even get to 3 and I’m struggling with mourning the age gaps and closeness I had imagined and hoped for for my children. I’m also wondering if it’s just too unfair to a third at this point to be so removed from the closeness and shared experiences of my current children. Worst thing is, I have encouraged others in this area but I myself am also struggling. I have 1 brother 10 years younger than me and we have no relationship. This is not what I want for my children. Who’s sitting in this sadness with me? What has helped? Did you choose not to keep TTC purely for the reason of a large age gap?