u/whipped_pumpkin410

Looking to hear coping strategies from others who are struggling with secondary infertility.

I feel like i live in an in between space or a purgatory where i am spiraling downward with my infertility but its secondary, i already have a kid, so im not allowed to really express it or no one really gets this place that i am since i do have a child.

* How are you not constantly angry and resentful that your body worked just fine at one point and now it’s failing you ?

* How are you balancing being a present mom to your first while attending a million fertility appointments, taking hormones that make you crazy, and feeling depressed over your unexplained diagnosis?

I have been TTC for #2 for 23 months. I have been diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility. We had absolutely zero issues conceiving baby 1, it was easy actually. Aside from a few minor issues that were fixed within our first year of trying, everything has been officially “normal” and “perfect (in the words of the surgeon who did my hysteroscopy)” since November.

Since November i have done 4 medicated and monitored cycles back to back followed by 2 iuis. All obviously failed and i am feeling so incredibly burnt out and depressed. To top it all off all these cycles since November required me to be at the clinic multiple times per week for monitoring and blood work causing me to miss functions for my first child. The hormones also make me a raging witch, and i feel i have been short with him.

I committed to 3 iuis so as i was planning for this months the clinic told me to start and come in on Mother’s Day and i sort of lost it. I realized i have missed so much since November with my first child- there is absolutely no way im going in on Mother’s Day. Also I’m feeling like i may never get to experience motherhood again so i need to be present for everything with my first, i can’t afford to miss more.

I declined the 3rd iui and said i would try to July but my close friend told me if i really wanted another baby id have made it work out this month during Mother’s Day i just changed my priorities. It Stung.

Im sorry this is so long i just dont know where else to share this. Really hoping for advice from other secondary infertility mothers

TW: discussion of children and previous pregnancy

Looking to hear coping strategies from others who are struggling with secondary infertility.

I feel like i live in an in between space or a purgatory where i am spiraling downward with my infertility but its secondary, i already have a kid, so im not allowed to really express it or no one really gets this place that i am since i do have a child.

* How are you not constantly angry and resentful that your body worked just fine at one point and now it’s failing you ?

* How are you balancing being a present mom to your first while attending a million fertility appointments, taking hormones that make you crazy, and feeling depressed over your unexplained diagnosis?

I have been TTC for #2 for 23 months. I have been diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility. We had absolutely zero issues conceiving baby 1, it was easy actually. Aside from a few minor issues that were fixed within our first year of trying, everything has been officially “normal” and “perfect (in the words of the surgeon who did my hysteroscopy)” since November.

Since November i have done 4 medicated and monitored cycles back to back followed by 2 iuis. All obviously failed and i am feeling so incredibly burnt out and depressed. To top it all off all these cycles since November required me to be at the clinic multiple times per week for monitoring and blood work causing me to miss functions for my first child. The hormones also make me a raging witch, and i feel i have been short with him.

I committed to 3 iuis so as i was planning for this months the clinic told me to start and come in on Mother’s Day and i sort of lost it. I realized i have missed so much since November with my first child- there is absolutely no way im going in on Mother’s Day. Also I’m feeling like i may never get to experience motherhood again so i need to be present for everything with my first, i can’t afford to miss more.

I declined the 3rd iui and said i would try to July but my close friend told me if i really wanted another baby id have made it work out this month during Mother’s Day i just changed my priorities. It Stung.

Im sorry this is so long i just dont know where else to share this. Really hoping for advice from other secondary infertility mothers

I feel like since turning 4 and right before turning 4 we hit a regression in some areas. Previously we could go to restaurants and he’d never leave his seat. He would sit there and eat and color and play with magna tiles but now he refuses. Wants to run around the table, refuses to eat, is obscenely loud.

Meal times. He used to sit and eat and now suddenly he refuses so many meals. It takes him like 45-60 minutes to eat one meal where as before it was like 20ish-30 minutes.

Playgrounds. Used to be excellent on playgrounds with waiting his turn and playing with others. Lately i have to hover around him to make sure he isn’t sliding down on top of someone or climbing over someone. Also gotta make sure he is playing nice and not being too aggressive with tag etc. like why do i need to helicopter parent my 4 year old but didn’t need to my 3 year old?

Arguments. He. Is. Always. Arguing with me. All he wants is control and it’s driving me mad. Giving two choices used to work well, he’d pick the one he wanted and i would get what i needed out of that choice. Now- no choices. He wants to do what he wants to do. I say the sky is blue he says green just to argue. I say wanna put on your shoes yourself or have mommy help you? Neither he wants no shoes and to run around at the store with no shoes.

I feel like i worked so hard and diligently on some of these skills when he was 2-3 and now we are back to square one like i have a new toddler or something. I feel like, why did i work so hard then?