r/traumacore

I was a caregiver for a client with the wife in the home for almost five months. I was doing a good job and the wife liked me or so I thought she did. But the last two weeks her attitude changed towards me. She got mad at me because I turned off the bathroom light. And she came into the room assuming I was talking about something that I wasn't talking about. Her husband liked to watch porn with the aides in the room with him too. I believe she fired me because she became jealous. And I didn't tell anyone how inappropriate her husband was to me. He told me he wanted to have sex with me but I said no. I didn't tell my agency I just kept it to myself. So for the past two weeks she would mean mug me like she was plotting on getting rid of me. So the day of my firing finally came because when I was giving him a bed bath I turned the bed setting off and forgot to turn it back on. So she called my agency and had me fired from the shift. Here's the thing I still a little upset with. I thought she liked me enough to give me another chance. I texted her and said I was sorry but she was really mean and harsh saying stuff like she doesn't trust me anymore and to leave her and her husband alone. I was floored at that response. It was like maybe she never liked me at all to just discard me like trash.

title is exactly what this is imma just list everything going wrong with living w my parents still: DISCLAIMER (i dont rlly know if my parents are toxic or not. i dont think ive been thru that much to say they are but some things are def unhealthy and i have generated some issues from things i learned or seen growing up)

- A 9:00 PM curfew... i turn 20 in less than 2 months

- A 8 PM eating curfew. My parents yell at me and prohibit me from eating past 8 PM

- Not allowed to sleep over at ANYONEs house. Not even my GFs house they wont let me, they say its because you never know what could happen but at the same time Im not 10 anymore

- My mom spends thousands of dollars gambling each week when we barely have food in the house. This bullet point is a heavy one because this has been the case all of my life. My mother would leave the house almost everyday to go gamble in bingo, spend about 300+ per day, come home with 50 bucks in winnings. Basically, she flushes her money everyday because she enjoys it. There have been times where she leaves to go gamble when there wouldnt be any food in the house besides bread and cheese. Im being so deadass. I would tell her theres no food and she ALWAYS replies with "Theres bread, cheese, and cereal. Make something for yourself". My younger sister started making her own meals at 10 because no one else would...

- I have no license and no job and Im a bum basically. My mom and dad dont take any initiative to help me get my license. I call driving school places so that my parents can book appointments and get me into them, but nothing is ever done on their end. I cant just pop up to pay for the lessons myself because I have no job. And getting a job has been hell because as soon as they figure out I rely on my mom to take me places, my chances are basically 0 at that point, since technically it isnt a very reliable source of transportation.

- So Im depressed and have been depressed since I was 15. I been on and off meds for various of reasons (mainly because I hate how they make me feel) and I quit my meds around 8 months ago. Basically my mom and dad found out and are forcing me to take meds again even though I said I dont want to. (Im not current taking meds atm, I just told them that I am so they can hop off my back)

- My mom constantly compares me to my older brother (who's a borderline drug addict that never visits his family). I've spoken to her about how it does make me feel sad and like a POS when she says Im gonna end up just like him (which btw she says this when I eat late, dont put enough effort into finding a job/education, or if I make her mad) She compares me to him at least once a week and im so tired of it.

- Growing up, around the age of 15 my mom just stopped going shopping for me for clothing. This is so embarrassing but I literally only have 4 sets of bras because growing up my mom would refuse to buy me more. And they're sports bras so not rlly supportive bras that I need. I would beg her countless times to buy me when I was younger since all I had were the same 4 ones, and she didnt :D

- I dont remember my mom really "raising" me or teaching me much. I never learned girl hygiene, how to properly take care of my curly hair, how to properly shower, how to put in a tampon. I dont remember any of that. Ngl my childhood memories are in bits and pieces (I maybe have 10 total memories from my childhood and they all are in fragments idk if this is normal or not) but yeah

- My dad judges everything I eat. Everytime i make something for myself I see him in the corner like staring at my plate and about half the time he makes a comment along the lines of "Why are you eating garbage. This is why you're gaining weight. This is why you have bowel issues". (About the bowel issues...again embarrassing but nobody knows my identify on here so i guess its fine...anyways Ive had severe constipation since I was 1. HOW IS IT that what I ate at 1 caused me to be constipated. I still struggle with it maybe once every 5 months so its def better, but still obviously it wasnt my fault if I had it from the jump yk?)

- When my parents argue, its usually about money bc my mom def has a gambling problem. Theres been at least 20 times that she overdrafts her credit card and it just blows up into this huge argument w my dad. Anyways growing up, it was a norm to hear them yelling and him calling her a dirty bitch in spanish and other names in spanish bc I guess he thought I wouldnt understand? (which i did) but the arguments are less often Id say it happens maybe like every season but growing up I def have a few memories of those. It would get a little violent sometimes on my moms side because I guess since shes a woman she thinks she can put her hands on him. There was one time I vividly heard her smack him since my room is across from theirs. I texted her "did u just hit papi? (dad in spanish)" and basically they both called me to their room and started gaslighting me. My dad said "dont say what happened to anyone but your mom didnt hit me and no one touched eat other we were just arguing"

Long story short I love my parents but I hate living in this house. Im starting to realize maybe why my older brother doesnt talk to them much anymore. I hope no one I know fr sees this post since its alottt but yeah uh Id really like some advice or even validation i dont rlly care I just hope someone sees this :/