r/sterilization

I am 35 years old (36 in September). I have known basically my whole life that having a child wasn’t something I’d want. My mind is completely made up at this point not to mention I’m not getting any younger plus I have Crohn’s Disease. I have been looking into more permanent options available outside of the typical birth control such as IUD. Mind you, I have been on birth control pills since I was 16 years old so I am very accustomed to having control over my birth control. I also have pretty strong health anxiety and fear of becoming pregnant accidentally. The anxiety alone, age, and high blood pressure (controlled with medicine) are factors contributing to needing to get off birth control pills.

I would prefer to have a bisalp done verses getting my tubes tied/burned and a hysterectomy. We all know the stereotypical things surrounding a woman wanting to have this type of procedure without ever having kids. Most doctors won’t even consider it.

I’m looking for advice, experiences, how hard was it for you to find a doctor who actually respects this decision that a woman has the right to make regardless of never having children, age, relationship status, etc? What are some things to consider most when making the decision to go this route? Any thoughts, experiences, and advice is truly appreciated!

Thanks!

Hope im using the right flair.

My bisalp is in 10 days from now 🥳 and my biggest hurdle is my nervousness over the anesthesia. Ive never had surgery before so i dont know how to explain to my anxiety brain that anesthesia is safe and ill be fine.

Does anyone have any tips to help ease my nerves?

Is it like taking a nap? A good nights sleep? Is it like teleporting and ill feel all jumbled after??

I have the calm app and been using that but the anxiety lingers

Edit to add: trust me, I think it’s crazy too, but I explained my job and the lifting/unpredictability it entails and he was adamant there would be no recovery time from this, and my discharge paper say I can resume all normal activities after 24 hours. I asked him several times when I scheduled it. The discharge nurse scribbled in a lifting restricting because she was mad I didn’t have one, but it’s a little late in the game now 😅

So I had my laparoscopic bisalp today. It went really well, no issues and I’ve been home about 4 hours with pretty minimal discomfort and no pain. I wasn’t given anything stronger than Motrin (which is fine, I had some gnarly orthopedic surgeries last year and didn’t need much pain control), but my return to work had the nurses very concerned.

I work as a dog groomer and I regularly have to lift 20-50lbs. When I scheduled the bisalp, I asked my doctor about this specifically because I write my own schedule and he said it was totally fine, I could go back to work the next day. I reiterated my lifting needs, and he assured me I’d be fine. Today at discharge he told my mom and roommate I should be off for 2 days and no lifting for a week. I have a full schedule of dogs with nowhere to move them. Meanwhile, my discharge nurse was reading my notes and was super confused why I had no restrictions and was cleared for work and lifting right away and sex in a week. I’m not having sex so that’s whatever, but she was floored at how lax everything was, and wasn’t hiding her disdain for the doctor.

Anyway, she gave me a compression belt to provide me with some support and protection from the dogs, and I’m going to give it a go Wednesday but my boss is aware we may need to adjust. I work alone and am the only groomer at my work so having to reschedule everyone is super inconvenient. Has anyone else had the doctor tell them they had basically no recovery time?

I haven’t posted here or anywhere about my surgery. I know it might seem paranoid, but I didn’t want anything online leading up to it after hearing about that woman who was denied her surgery earlier this year. I didn’t want anything to get in the way of me getting this surgery.

But I just got home, and while I’m physically uncomfortable, it can’t even touch the emotional relief I feel. My husband was driving me home and worried because I kept sighing until I told him it was good sighing. It feels like a weight off my shoulders *finally*. With everything going on in the US, I don’t have to worry anymore, I want to cry.

Thanks for reading my little ramble. I hope that every woman or man who wants one of these sterilization procedures is able to get them, just to feel this emotional relief. Everyone deserves that choice.

I was wondering about getting sterilized in the future for a while now, and this might be my only concern. I like my belly button a lot, does it change permanety or does it go back to what it was after recovery? Will I have a scar on it? I know that this is a stupid question and being steril should worth more than my belly button, but I wanted to ask you about this.

Hey! I'm having my bisalp surgery this Friday... I'm super stressed!

The only other surgery i got in my life went okay, just a lot of nausea afterward. I'm having my bisalp done in a hospital an hour's drive from home, so the drive home after the surgery scares me a bit. I'm also dreading the recovery...

Do you have any tips or advice to make the post-surgery period as easy as possible?

Do I see it bigger than it really is ? Like, is it an 'easy' surgery to have ?

Thanks :)

TL;DR: Nurse assured me I wouldn’t have a catheter put in, but after reviewing my surgical notes, I see that they put one in anyways. I understand why they did it, but I still feel violated.

My procedure went about as smoothly as it could’ve gone. The surgeon and all the nurses were so gentle and kind. I’m having minimal pain post-op (4-5 days later) yet I’m feeling irked by the fact that they used a Foley catheter after telling me I wouldn’t need one. I have urinary retention and UTI issues so I asked the nurse if I’d be getting catheterized. She said it wouldn’t be necessary. After my surgery, I was reading the notes of my procedure and I see they put one in and never told me. I know it’s important to make sure the bladder is empty, but I wish I wasn’t explicitly told no. I feel really uncomfortable with the fact that one was placed without telling me. I luckily couldn’t tell (they must’ve been very smooth with it) and was shocked to see it in my notes. It’s just off-putting, even with expecting the uterine manipulator etc.

Anyone else experienced this?

ETA: I’m very happy with my overall experience and not upset with any of my care team. I just wish I was told “this MAY happen” rather than “this WON’T happen” especially because I specifically asked. It was also not stated in my consent forms.

Hey I’m a 27 year old female who as of yesterday , had a bilateral salpingectomy. If you’re not familiar. It’s when the surgeon removes both your fallopian tubes , effectively making you sterile. Back story , never had kids and never wanted any. But I’m curious, for the ladies out there (who are child free) but had also gone through sterilization, what was your first day post op like? What were some of your side effects, how do you feel emotionally not that you made that decision? For me , the fact that I finally got this procedure I always dreamed about does give me a sense of relief. No more worries about unplanned pregnancy or being pregnant to begin with. But also , perhaps maybe from the anesthesia, it’s hard for m to process that my tubes are actually gone . It felt so surreal leaving the hospital yesterday that after all this time I got what I wanted. But I’d like to hear other women’s perspectives.

I don't want to take forever writing this:

I had a Tubal Ligation with Filshie Clips on September 2022- and as early as late January 2023. I started experiencing issues with my women's health. Heavier periods, severe menstraul migraines that I didnt have before surgery, funky gut health, yeast infections after EVERY period, and cramps that gradually got worse with some lingering cramping outside of menstruation period. The cramps in the past two years have gotten dibilitating, leaving me bed ridden because the slight bit of movement or strain on my abdomen would he excruciating. I'd be left in the same position, for upmost 8 hours at a time.

Come around to June 2025.

I started experiencing CONSTANT, NONSTOP CRAMPING from then to present day. Ive had numerous ER visits due to severe pains, and always stemming from the same spot. I had CTs show that my left Filshie Clip appearing stuck in the same exact position over months of time, and my most recent MRI shows the same exact thing. Ontop of thay, there is a noticeable mass you can see on my lower abdomen in the LLQ. You cant feel a mass if you pres into it but it HURTS. I'm constantly dealing eith a stabbing searing pain. Best I can explain is like having a small piece eof wood or pebble between your toes when you have socks on that keeps stabbing into you. But guess what? YOU CANT REMOVE YOUR SOCKS.

No one wanted to listen to me, and finally I just told my OB to take my tubes out. I've been off work because eof this pain and existence has been so, insanely hard.

I have surgery soon, and I'm hoping its these stupid clips that are the problem.

With the imaging, I want to know if anyone had their clips removed and were told that the flips had fused or stuck to any of their surrounding organs or the pelvic wall?

edit: I'd like to add that I specifically asked for a tie and burn but my OB at the time told me that Filshie Clips were a safety way to go. to be honest, I am so incredibly angry about that now.

Im sorry I just need some reassurance.

My bisalp surgery is coming up in a few months. Unfortunately it looks like I'll have to rely on my parents for transportation. We share the same home and I won't be able to hide that I was under anesthesia.

My parents don't know that I'm childfree. I don't feel comfortable telling them just yet, if ever. They mentioned multiple times how they want grandkids and give unwanted advice on raising children/caring for babies. So telling them "I need a ride back home after sterilization surgery" is completely off the table.

But I'm hoping that saying "The doctor is going to run a test to see if I have endometriosis" will be good enough for them to help me? That procedure seems quite similar to a bisalp. I'm not exactly sure how to bring up endometriosis to my parents though.

If you all have been in my situation and used endometriosis as an excuse, how did you talk about it? What's your experience with this? I appreciate any responses you have.

i feel like i'm dreaming. i (25f) had my pre-op today for my bisalp this month and they gave me my up front cost estimate of $2500. i knew it was a long shot, but i called my insurance and the billing office to give the spiel about preventative sterilization being covered at 100% through ACA and they just said yes. no argument, no need to file an appeal. my health insurance is notoriously shit in the state of florida so i'm shocked. but, i'll pay nothing up front and all hospital/facility fees should be fully covered. i am putting this out into the universe so everyone else gets some of this good luck and positive energy!

hi my bisalp is on Monday and I’m so excited - but only nervous about having a catheter inserted while I’m unconscious and being exposed and stuff like that, the thought of it is making me pretty uncomfortable. I know it’s purpose is for safety of the bladder and to prevent nicks and I want it to go as smoothly as possible so I’m not opposing, but did anyone else have one during theirs - and was it painful afterwards to pee? :(

edit - Thank you all so much :) love this community

Hello, I had a bisalp one year ago. It went smooth. No problems. I was wondering if anyone else who has had a bisalp has experienced any hormonal differences since your surgery? I feel like I was told it shouldn’t effect anything but I am wondering if libido could (of course it could be other factors) because I was high drive and have felt such a dip over the last year where I feel basically no drive except like once a month maybe. Just wanted to get others opinions/experiences.

I have had bad experiences with birth control. Me and my boyfriend are trying condoms but the last brand he tried was not only tight but it made him lose feeling. We are going to try another brand of condoms. Except this one is non latex will he be able to feel anything? I don't get how it made him losing erection and it gave him the feeling that it was too tight. How does that happen when he is average size? I'm getting My tubes are moved during a laparoscopy procedure of diagnosing endometriosis which I'm going to have other things removed as well. I am also afraid of iuds because of stories that I heard with them of course I would most likely go with a non-hormonal one.

So I’m a single, closeted, lesbian 19 year old who’s also hiding that she wants to be sterilized from her NJ family (single-parent + bf) that expects marriage, children, bf/husband, etc. Let’s just say my mom wouldn’t be terribly supportive or be willing to take me home from the procedure. I’m interested in hearing anyone’s experience with bisalp procedures and what they looked into (especially if they were under 25 when they did it) I know for a fact this procedure is irreversible and frankly, that’s why I’ve been wanting to do this since I was 16 or 17. Was the fight for full coverage tricky? Are there specific questions I should ask before scheduling a consultation? And, what should I say to convince a doctor to do the procedure on someone as young as me? (I’m new to this sub in case that wasn’t obvious lol.) I know it’s Reddit but I’d appreciate any and all forms of advice ppl might have. 🙏

Hi everyone!

I have my surgery tomorrow to have my tubes removed. I'm extremely nervous for the procedure, I'm terrified of being in pain or something going wrong with the surgery.

I never wanted kids so my partner had his vasectomy 6 years ago, but I personally knew a vasectomy baby and that really freaks me out. Plus with the current administration attacking woman's rights I feel like abortion won't be possible if we were to be one of the rare ones to conceive with a vasectomy. So I'm curious, any ladies out there that got sterilization even though there partner had it?

If Roe wasn't overturned I don't think I'd be doing this because there were options for "the oopsies". But I don't want to be like my friends mom pregnant at 47 because of a failed vasectomy.

Any thoughts, experiences, or encouragement appreciated!

Edit: Hello again! I just wanted to thank you all so much for sharing your experiences and encouragement! I just got home from the procedure and I stressed over nothing. It was a breeze. As someone mentioned you blink and its over. Right after the procedure it felt like a terrible period but I asked for pain relief and they gave me an oxy and I feel zero pain at the moment! If anyone is thinking about getting the procedure but nervous about the surgery, completely understandable but just know this is not terrible. I feel so free! I'm officially in control of my reproductive health and safe!

I am (hopefully) getting a bisalp this year, but will need to stay on birth control for period control. Basically my ibs is unmanageable during my period, so I skip as many as my body will allow to experience that as little as possible.

I’ve been on the pill for 10 years, I’m good at taking it, have no side effects that I know of (except possibly weight retention), and frankly I’m scared to go off of it, as I have no idea how my body will react.

At the same time, I want to know if some of my many medical issues (hypothyroidism, bad ibs, vertigo, obesity) would be easier managed without having the pill on top of it.

I also fear potential side effects of other methods - particularly cystic acne (been there done that - ow!!), off cycle heavy bleeding, and I’d really not do well with any gastro side effects. My doc did offer iud insertion while I’m already out for surgery.

So basically I fear the unknown & would love any input on whether another method would be worth the risk to avoid having every period or should I stick with what I know? TIA!

EVERY month I am worried I am pregnant until I get my period. Even when I get my period I think of those stories “I didn’t know I was pregnant”. I 100% know I don’t want kids.

Does getting this procedure ease your mind? Or has anyone still had those thoughts after?

Also, have you had push back from family/friends on this? I have some saying my husband should be the one to get snipped(which I’ve heard isn’t as effective) - but this is for me to ease my mind and have lighter periods.

So if i got a bisalp, my boyfriend had a vasectomy and tests negative for sperm, and I have an IUD, what are the odds of me getting pregnant if we do it raw (meaning without a condom). I feel like they're incredibly low, but if anyone has any idea of the likelihood of it happening, id like your input lol

I need some help with what to tell people.

When it comes to my job: I have 2 weeks off work for summer vacation which helps. But my job sometimes involves lifting heavy boxes, archived documents, files, etc. and I’m worried about what happens when I come back and can’t lift things.

Obviously I’m not telling them the truth. I was thinking of saying I had my gallbladder removed laparoscopically and that my doctor told me to avoid heavy lifting for a while. Does that sound believable? I don't want to make into a big deal but I've learned that if you try keeping something a secret in a small office people will gossip about it. This way, they're not suspecting anything, and just think I had shitty holidays since I had to go to the hospital.

I'm more worried about my mom. I currently live with her (moved back in after college for financial reasons). I’ll be traveling to another country for the procedure cause sterilization is illegal where I live, so I’ll be gone about a week (the clinic requires me to stay 2 days post bisalp for safety reasons). I’ve already told her I’m just going on a trip with friends.

I'm worried about the recovery period when I get back though. I know recovery is different for everyone, but I’m assuming I might still feel pretty rough after that first week so I need a believable explanation without revealing the real reason.