r/romance

Something like Apur Sansar (I know it was a bengali film), Tum Bin (2002), Nadiya ke Paar,

Something very simple yet poetic

Dream pop / indie / psych tracks with subtle electronic elements. Descending order highly encouraged.

Ciao a tutti. Sono una ragazza del '96 a cui sono sempre piaciuti i ragazzi più grandi. Ultimamente sto provando interesse (potrebbe piacermi) nei confronti di un ragazzo del 2003 che sembra molto più maturo della sua età sia fisicamente che intellettualmente. Secondo voi 7 anni di differenza sono troppi? Se fosse stato il contrario, ovvero io ventitreenne e lui quasi trentenne, probabilmente non mi sarei posta nemmeno il problema.

hi guys ! I would like to make my own romance story and I need some inspirations for the trope I wanna make bc I feel like my favs are a bit deja vu

so i you have any ideas I wanna hear about it !!! tysmmmm

Hello all, writing here because I feel that's the only way I can cope about my situation...

I have never dated a girl (I am working now) so that might be the reason why I was so excited but well anyways there was this cute girl in my office that I wanted to talk from the start, luck had it and we are in same unit now looking after different work area but yes same unit nonetheless. We get to talk about work and ofc off-the-work things too, I thought things will progress smoothly if I were to continue like this but in these off-the-work talks she told me about how her friend circle broke because of a guy...

She told the guy that she wouldn't be dating anybody and will be more on arranged marriage side. That guy still interfered with her, told her he likes her and what not and things went downhill rapidly, the friendship group broke apart. After hearing that, it froze me.... I realised I have no chance at all and now it will be so weird for me to continue talking with her as before I was doing. Her work shift was about to over so I said bye to her and went back to my seat.

To be honest I was prepared that if I ever get a hint that she is annoyed by me or she is already in a relationship I will back off immediately but this case is so different, the romance can't even start. I don't know when the next time we will be free to talk what I am even gonna talk about, it was all on a single hope but that disappeared in a very peculiar way. She is a good friend but if it was possible i would want it to be much more.

Who knows even if there was 'no dating' thing condition never existed for her, she would still reject me later but that chapter couldn't even start.

Ooof that's a lot of words and thanks for reading it, I will just let this post stay so even if one day I forget about it all it will stay for someone else to read... Thank you

In relazione non soffriamo per quello che fa o non fa l’altro, ma per tutto quello che la relazione con l'altro smuove dentro di noi, come il bisogno di conferme, la paura della distanza, il silenzio, l’incertezza, il sentirci poco visti o poco scelti.

Mentre crediamo di cercare o dare solo amore e vicinanza, mettiamo in atto comportamenti che ci aiutino a non incontrare il vuoto e la solitudine che ci portiamo dentro.

Quando iniziamo ad accorgerci di questo, e iniziamo a dire si a quell'incontro che tanto ci spaventa, che non è altro che l'incontro con la parte più importante di noi, qualcosa nel nostro modo di relazionarci con gli altri si trasforma, mentre le nostre relazioni si alleggeriscono e iniziano a muoversi in modo diverso.

Iniziano a funzionare, perchè iniziano a sostenere la nostra crescita, comunque vada.

Cosa ne pensi? Ti è mai accaduto di perderti nell'altro, nell'altra, o nella relazione?

Can someone help me find “They Sold Me to Survive Her, Now They Want Me Back” novel?

Tuve una relación de casi 3 años con mi exnovio del colegio (era un año mayor que yo). Al inicio fue cursi, pero después de un año y medio empezó a cambiar: en persona le gustaba el contacto físico, pero por chat me trataba como amigo. Era muy caprichoso, si no hacía lo que quería se enojaba, y eso me cansaba.

Teníamos peleas porque él quería ir a mi casa y conocer a mis padres, pero yo no podía porque los míos no son abiertos con eso. Él quería que seamos una pareja más comprometida y, aunque yo quería, iba muy rápido. No me sentía preparada para “almuerzos familiares” o presentarlo formalmente. Mi familia sabía de él, pero no me creía y pensaba que me avergonzaba. Era muy inseguro y eso afectaba la relación.

Se enojaba mucho si mi madre no me dejaba ir a su casa, y me hablaba seco por una semana. En los últimos 5 meses sentía que me odiaba. En una pelea donde casi terminamos, me dijo que si algún día terminábamos le gustaría que seamos amigos (eso no pasó). En la última pelea él me terminó. Yo le rogué porque me daba miedo la ruptura, pero no sirvió. Me dijo que la relación no llegaba a nada y que era mejor no ser amigos, aunque “terminábamos bien”.

La primera semana lloré muchísimo, la segunda menos, y en la tercera me di cuenta de que tampoco veía futuro con él. Se había vuelto malhumorado y no lo veía como una relación feliz. Lo superé ahí: dejé de llorar y pensé que me hizo un favor al terminar.

Después empezó a eliminarme poco a poco: primero de su privada, luego de TikTok, y así cada dos semanas de otras redes, bloqueándome. Solo quedamos en cuentas normales.

Mi vida mejoró mucho: tengo más amigos y no hay días malos. Pasaron casi 5 meses y sigo bien. No busqué a nadie al terminar; recién 3 meses después empecé a conocer a alguien y todo va bien, lento. Hace poco hice una playlist con este chico y la puse en Spotify. Luego vi que perdí un seguidor: era mi ex, y me había bloqueado hasta ahí.

Entonces, si él quiso terminar, ¿por qué sigue pendiente después de tanto tiempo?

Cabe recalcar que al terminar, cuando yo le rogué que no me deje, él me dijo que siga con mi vida, que no me aferre a él, que no espere por el, y que no se enojara si estoy con alguien más pero parece que no piensa eso realmente

I love that he’s strong, dark-skinned, incredibly handsome, very masculine. Rugged. His long eyelashes, his veiny hands, his scars. I also love that he’s very natural, not pretentious at all. He has a very big heart. He’s hardworking, responsible, plays the guitar. [Sigh] I’m in love. I have been for 17 years.

Okay, so there's this boy I've been talking to recently. We've been "friends" (AKA people who share friends so we would hang out once in a blue moon) for a long time but we didn't really talk that much until the past couple weeks. The thing is, I can't tell if he likes me or not. We text every day and have super funny conversations, and there has been a tiny bit of flirting (unless i'm just reading it wrong). I have kind of started to like him because he's funny and sweet and he's a really good guy. The only thing that keeps throwing me off is that he keeps asking me to "put him on with someone" and won't shut up about girls. Other than that, he starts conversations with me regularly, and even when we start on topics like school or other people, he always continues the conversation and asks me a bunch of questions, flirts with me, and I really don't know if he just wants to be close friends like that or if he's really trying to start something. If anyone needs more info I can answer questions, but do you think he likes me or nah??

22F with 24M, 2 weeks

High school and college were rough. Eating disorder, body image issues, probably depression. Never had a real relationship. Not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't face myself.

Came to the US for law school. Something just released. I hooked up with 3 people — one was almost a situationship. It felt like freedom, curiosity, fun. Things I never had.

Then winter hit. Huge loneliness. Realized I was using hookups to deal with stress I didn't know how to handle. What I actually needed was connection, shared taste, simple friendship, or just learning how to relax.

Now pressure is still insane. I ended up with a FWB. He's actually good to me — emotionally supportive, gives career advice, generous. Makes me feel less alone.

But I don't know if this is healing or just a stable band-aid.

I never learned what a healthy relationship looks like. I don't know if I'm capable of one. And I don't know if this FWB is teaching me how to connect, or just teaching me how to settle because I'm too exhausted to ask for more.

I don't even know what my question is. Maybe just: has anyone been here? How did you figure out if someone was good for you, or just showed up at the right (wrong) time?

When one thinks of romance, they might think of late-night drives with their partner, four-hour conversations, ice cream at a mall, or cuddling under the bedsheets. If the honeymoon phase is over, they might think of going home from work to see their loved one, waking up to them cooking a sweet omelet, or - if they chose to procreate - teaching their children the ABCs.

But beyond the conventional depiction of romantic love - beyond how romance is imagined in the movies or conceived in the minds of the majority - there is a niche but burgeoning sub-genre, if you will, of the commonsense term: non-traditional romance.

'All romance is non-traditional', one may say. And to this I respond, 'I agree with you. No individual can compete with the love you have for your partner. Romance is a sacred and ineffable experience for both sides. It is something that can only be understood when one strips away intellectual understanding and makes way for the more visceral, emotional parts of their psyche. When it is an experience so subjective, it is fundamentally impossible to formalize and systematize it into a neat little box.'

But even if we argue that romance is different from subjective experience to subjective experience, it is also true that this does not prohibit the mass majority from categorizing in their minds - and perhaps it is an unconscious categorization - an invisible Overton window or line of gradient between what we consider traditional and non-traditional romance.

Where traditional romance houses unspoken rules like monogamy or a relatively stable power balance, non-traditional romance might be more fluid and flexible - or more rigid and logical - in their approach to satisfying the collective psyche of both partners.

While not all of non-traditional romance, a common example is BDSM: Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism. There is also romance without romance, breaking free from the typical notion of the word 'romance' itself and turning the relationship into a spontaneous, unpredictable canvas in which we paint the colors of self-expression. There is also polygamy. There is what the spiritualists may call a 'tantric relationship'. There is the Harley and Joker relationship - folie à deux, or shared madness.

Romance is subjective and has no rules. What matters is the satisfaction and consent of both parties. One romance may value loyalty as a virtue. The other may view it as a burden and prefer multiple partners instead. One may think termination conditions reduces the relationship to mere business transactions. Another may think the very nature of formalizing relationships is in and of itself attractive or kinky, or perhaps they prefer stability and order in a world of chaotic emotions.

What are your thoughts on non-traditional romance? Would you ever have one?

"Kal raat jo hua.... usne sab badal diya (Part 1)"

Us din office thoda alag lag raha tha…

Sab kuch normal tha, lekin uski aankhon me kuch ajeeb sa tha. Meera usually mujhe avoid karti thi, par aaj wo baar-baar meri taraf dekh rahi thi.

“Tum thik ho?” maine pucha.

Wo halki si muskurayi, “Haan… bas thoda kaam zyada hai.”

Lekin mujhe pata tha—ye sirf kaam wali baat nahi thi.

Lunch ke time sab canteen chale gaye, par wo apni working chair par hi baithi rahi. Main bhi wahi paas padi chair per baith gaya.

“Tum aaj itni chup kyun ho?” maine phir pucha.

Is baar usne seedha meri taraf dekha… aur dheere se boli:

“Kal raat jo hua… tumhe yaad hai?”

Mera dil ekdum tez dhadakne laga.

“Kal raat?” maine confused hoke pucha.

Usne apni chari ko bilkul meri chair se sata diya… aur khud mere upaar jhuki.. itni paas ki main uski saanse mehsoos kar sakta tha.

“Tum sach me bhool gaye… ya pretend kar rahe ho?”

Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha.

Kal raat… main to ghar par tha.

Phir wo kis baat ko lekar kar rahi thi?

Usne apna phone nikala… aur ek photo meri taraf badha di.

Photo dekhte hi mere pairon tale zameen khisak gayi…

Kyuki us photo me… main tha.

(Part 2 tomorrow…)