r/raisedbybipolar

Hi guys this is my first post and idk if anyone is going to see this but my mom has bipolar 2 disorder. She is an amazing mom and I know that she is trying her best. She has had trouble all her life since she only got diagnosed in her later life and she is always trying different medications, even though she tries to take medicine and get better for me and my brother it always just feels like a losing battle. There are weeks where we are really good and she’s being really nice to us but there are other times where she is explosive and borderline abusive, she has said very nasty things to me and my brother that I don’t even want to remember. Im an adult now and I’ve gotten better at distinguishing when she is not medicated because that is when it gets bad, Im just having trouble knowing how to help her cope or not to set her off, it’s gotten harder and harder as I have aged and it’s almost like her behavior when she’s unmediated has become more personal If that makes sense. When she gets out of these “moods” where she’s abusive she always apologizes tearfully and I know she doesn’t mean most of what she’s saying. We have had multiple conversations about this but it seems to all go void as soon as her behavior starts again. I am really at my breaking point and I know she is too, if anyone has advice or has a parent with bipolar then please let me know how I can make things better for our family.

I have been designated as my “mother’s keeper” since childhood. My father literally told me that it’d be my fault if my mother didn’t get discharged from the psychiatric hospital if I didn’t get her to take her meds because apparently a grown woman is going to listen to a 12 year old… It’s exhausting that every time she displays odd behavior, I get phone calls from family members asking if she’s in an episode. It’s exhausting that I have been given the responsibility of HER mental health when I have my own to worry about. I unfortunately also have bipolar disorder and yet, her diagnosis takes precedent because it disrupts everyone and everything around her. I also hate that it feels like I have to do damage control after she lashes out at people because she’s paranoid. Then, she guilt trips me and claims that I always take everyone else’s side. I’m just exhausted.

Have you ever experienced any guilt and self-doubt about whether or not you’re doing right by your parent? How do you handle any lingering resentment from the past?

Okay to give context…. I 20yo F, have lived under my mothers roof my whole life and starting in middle school she started controlling me worse than a helicopter mom. Had apps to shut off my phone, went through my phone everyday, would track me everywhere I go and so on. To this day it’s gotten better to an extent. She tries to still control me like I’m 15 and will say she’ll beat my a** if I go out without her permission and spam called me at 2 am when I fell asleep and my boyfriends house calling me a wh**e and to come home immediately (we are 5 mins away from each other).

Okay now to my question because for years I’ve wanted to move out because I feel like my mother has put a decline on my mental health and don’t get me wrong we have our good days but our bad are bad. Literally told me today bc I stayed over at my boyfriend, 20 yo, who I haven’t seen in a month bc he got a travel job, if I have the same behavior again she would give me a curfew…. At 20 years old.

My boyfriend has known for years that me and my mother’s relationship wasn’t great. And tonight he is stranded at the airport because the weather is not the best and my mother said I wasn’t allowed to leave this house unless I wanna get my a** beat when I get home. He’s now giving me an ultimatum that if I don’t move out of her toxic house and move in with his family so that I could finally work on my mental health by the end of the week he says he will leave me because he believes That I wont ever be able to leave because she manipulates me into feeling bad for her or any other excuse to be stuck under her rule.

Me and him are talking about moving into an RV together so that he can travel for work easier and etc in August so like 3 months. So im asking if I can just wait til then but he is scared that I’ll back out if I dont do it this week. What should I do?

I’ve already messaged my sister and friends to help me move but im terrified of what the results will be if I do decide to do this.
I will return any questions if any are asked do context purposes.

Hi. I don't really know why I came to Reddit, but I’m hoping I can get any sort of advice. I’m 16F, and I lived with both of my parents and my siblings. My parents have been happily married for 18 years, but because of the manic episode that my dad had around 6 months ago, all of that came crumbling down in just a few weeks, and I don’t know what to do.

My dad was an amazing person, kind, sweet, and a loving father and husband. My parents built up their lives and had a very stable and healthy marriage. But unknown to my mom, my dad has bipolar disorder, to which he and his parents never told my her about. about a year and a half ago, he had a depressive episode that lasted for a year, and we spent that year taking care of him and trying to support him. He was put on testosterone gel, and that was seemingly “helping him”, as he was quickly getting out of his depression and started to act like his energetic, goofy self again. But we didn’t know at that time that he was slipping into a manic episode. Everything went downhill from there.

In the span of a few weeks, the father that I used to know was gone. He began to act incredibly selfish, self-centered, rude, and began spending money that we didn’t have. My parents marriage became very unstable and stressful, and the way he treated my mom and my siblings was horrible, constantly saying that he wanted to beat and divorce my mom, and that he would only continue to love me and my siblings if we respected him. This behavior escalated to the point were my mom had to file a restraining order on him, to which he broke, and was taken to jail.

He is currently in a mental hospital, and I have not spoken with him ever since he was arrested, due to my mom not being able to contact him because of the restraining order. He and my family are okay as of right now, but I’m terrified for the future. The life that I once had was stripped away from me, and I don’t know how to feel about my dad. He was such an amazing person who would never do anything to hurt anyone, but because of that fucking manic episode, he destroyed his life, currently having no place to go once his time in jail is over, or any source of work or money income. I‘m just heartbroken about all of this. I never thought in a million years that my parents would have to divorce, and I may only be able to see my dad under supervision, because we can no longer trust that he won’t do anything bad to us again. The life that he worked so hard for is gone, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Sorry for this lengthy story, but I really need help. I just need to know if anything similar has happened to anyone, and if they can offer any advice to me. I don’t know how I can possibly move on, knowing that I won’t have my daddy anymore.

TLDR: My parent’s happy marriage was destroyed in just a few weeks due to my dad’s manic episode, and the life that he built for himself and my family is gone.

Anyone else's BP parent apparently a victim in literally every situation and every argument ever?

Apparently, she (the bipolar drug addict who was unmedicated for both bipolar and ADHD for years along with other severe mental health issues, who yelled at her child while they were making I statements in therapy, has a history of lying to their kid in order to get money for drugs, as well as a history of going into their bank account without asking for money because she can't afford to pay her bills because of buying shit durin manic episodes and, surprise surprise, drugs) is a constant victim and has been the only person in the family who's ever had to walk on eggshells. Not her child, who at times thought she literally hated them during their childhood.

I remember telling her she had no right to yell at me and treat me like shit and all she said was "I hAvE nO rIgHtS!" Like, if you think your only right is to be a piece of shit, then, yeah, I guess so, then, fuck you. She's fine when she's happy but when she's in a bad mood she's the most venomous asshole you'll ever meet, and even then, she's a victim. I'm going low contact when I eventually move out, but that's gonna be a long time due to my schizophrenia. Every time I think about this shit, my blood just boils. I hate what she's put me through and doesn't have the goddamn decency to admit it.

I wonder how common this is for bipolar parents.

My mother was diagnosed with bipolar 1 when I was 9 years old (I am 31 now). I was the only daughter, I have 2 brothers. I first saw my mom hurt herself around the same time she was daignosed. Neither one of my brothers knew what was going on. She came out of her room, and I saw her arms. Following this incident, she was in and out of inpatient therapy every few years until I was about 21. She would spend about 3 weeks inpatient every 2 to 3 years. Usually onset by manic episodes and self harm. I have constantly felt like her mother, and her caretaker. I am the only child that has seen what she has done to herself, and I still cant find the strength to cut her off. My older brother is 9 years older than me, and already out of the house when the first incident happened. He has cut her off, due to his own issues with her.

I have cut her off temporarily a couple of times, but I can never last longer than a few months. I start to feel guilty, and wonder if she will hurt herself again. I know this is due to the trauma she caused me, but I truly do not know how to not feel sorry for her, or feel guilty for being happier than her. She has a lot of physical health problems too, and I am usually the only person that can help her during surgeries and whatnot. I put so much pressure on myself, and she often guilt trips me even when I am already feeling guilty. She often calls me "her best friend", and I constantly tell her I am her daughter, but she doesnt understand.

I have gone to so much therapy, I have done EMDR for extended amounts of time. I feel like I get temporary solutions, like trying to create boundaries, but nothing ever sticks. Just venting, I know some of you can probably commiserate.