Someone in this sub posted that they got a massage and the masseuse fell asleep during the massage, I womder if it was one of these...3 parlors were discovered
My mother was diagnosed with bipolar 1 when I was 9 years old (I am 31 now). I was the only daughter, I have 2 brothers. I first saw my mom hurt herself around the same time she was daignosed. Neither one of my brothers knew what was going on. She came out of her room, and I saw her arms. Following this incident, she was in and out of inpatient therapy every few years until I was about 21. She would spend about 3 weeks inpatient every 2 to 3 years. Usually onset by manic episodes and self harm. I have constantly felt like her mother, and her caretaker. I am the only child that has seen what she has done to herself, and I still cant find the strength to cut her off. My older brother is 9 years older than me, and already out of the house when the first incident happened. He has cut her off, due to his own issues with her.
I have cut her off temporarily a couple of times, but I can never last longer than a few months. I start to feel guilty, and wonder if she will hurt herself again. I know this is due to the trauma she caused me, but I truly do not know how to not feel sorry for her, or feel guilty for being happier than her. She has a lot of physical health problems too, and I am usually the only person that can help her during surgeries and whatnot. I put so much pressure on myself, and she often guilt trips me even when I am already feeling guilty. She often calls me "her best friend", and I constantly tell her I am her daughter, but she doesnt understand.
I have gone to so much therapy, I have done EMDR for extended amounts of time. I feel like I get temporary solutions, like trying to create boundaries, but nothing ever sticks. Just venting, I know some of you can probably commiserate.