r/nycgaybros

>Matt Bernstein, also known as Mattxiv on Instagram, where he boasts 2.2 million followers, is one of the most influential internet voices for young queer progressives in the U.S. Through vertical videos, uniquely curated social posts and a podcast called “A Bit Fruity,” Bernstein tackles the most pressing—and controversial—issues of our time, but presents them in an accessible and bite-sized way that meets the moment of how consumers want to receive information in 2026.

My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months (not long, I know) and we have had quite the time. Around a month ago, we separated for 4 days because whenever we would communicate with each other, there would be fights. Taking 4 days apart even though it’s only 4 days, really helped us collect our thoughts and now we can communicate without fighting.

One major problem I have had is that I haven’t felt like I’m wanted in the relationship. It’s always me feeling like I’m planning, I’m carrying the conversation, I’m the one reaching out to do things. For example, we are a bit long distance so with our texts, the only question he will ask me is, how was your day? No follow ups, no questions about my interest, no questions about anything going on in my life. Maybe I have high standards but I don’t think it’s hard to ask about something specific to show that you are listening. I have so many things going on, big things! I am going to portugal on May 2nd, I am moving into a new apartment on May 1st, I have a CPA exam next Tuesday, My mom is going to jail in a month, I have friends that I chat with every day that live out of state, I go to the gym and run. We have and conversations about this stuff because I bring it up. I have asked him to ask more probing and intentional questions and he has and now he isn’t. I don’t know if this is a deal breaker but I hope it isn’t I really like him! Do you think I’m asking for too much? How do you think I can help improve this because maybe I’m not communicating it in an understandable way?

I know the party starts at 7 PM but unfortunately I’m not free until after 10 PM so I don’t know if it’ll be worth going that late, but I’m staying literally a few blocks away at my own hotel and thought I could host my own group tonight

Or will it still be going on at 10 PM tonight?

Any thoughts or suggestions?

My bdays coming up in July n I want to do something fun. I usually go out to raves n edm shows in the city but this year I wanna do something different cause I go to a rave every other weekend at this point. The dream goal here is to get into The Box but I got no connections :((. I’m definitely looking for something like that. I want an explicit live show to watch in the city if anyone knows a good spot. I’m not looking for a strip club. I want to observe and see more of an actual performance if that’s makes sense. Let me know if you guys have any recommendations, will be about 3 to 5 ppl all tg.

As a straight bud went into Rise to get a drink before heading to a party. i felt so comfortable in there hanging at the bar. even jumped into a game of bingo before heading out. great spot no pressure chill vibe. thanks.

So…anyone had that awkward situation where you go for the face pic swap and realize you know who the person is from social circles? This happened to me after the convo was tracking toward a hookup, and I tried to just say “hey, I’m interested if you are.” Several minutes went by with no response. Couldn’t tell if he hadn’t read it or just chose not to respond due to how glitchy it has been. Got nervous. So then I said “no worries handsome.” I thought this would be an ok thing to say but then he flew off the handle - “no worries about what? Gross. Huge turnoff. Never mind.” Then he deleted the chat. I then said, “I figured since I knew you I would say something.” A couple more terse lines were exchanged but I was apologetic. Then he blocked me. I have known his bf for years and the bf is good friends with some of our friends. I think this couple is moving overseas soon but I found the interaction depressing and out of pocket.

>When Evan decided it was time to tell his boyfriend that he voted for Trump, he couldn’t get the words out. “I was stuttering for 20 minutes straight on the phone,” he told Uncloseted Media and GAY TIMES.

>Once he finally worked up the courage, he was met with pushback: “He made fun of me. … He called me a racist and a white supremacist,” says Evan, a 21-year-old math major who lives in Long Island, New York.

>That pushback isn’t unusual: According to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey, 83% of queer men typically vote Democrat. One key reason gay men swing left in 2026 is because of the Trump administration and MAGA-aligned politicians’ track record on LGBTQ issues. Since the start of Trump’s second term, his administration has terminated more than $1 billion worth of grants to HIV-related research, removed the Pride flag from the Stonewall National Monument and shut down the LGBTQ-specific option on the 988 youth suicide hotline.

>Because of this, many of the fewer than one in five LGBTQ men who cast their ballot for Trump in 2024 face judgment for their political affiliation.

>“People think that I hate myself for being gay, and that I’m a gay traitor. … I wish there were more gay conservatives or moderates,” says Evan, who requested to use a pseudonym due to fears over retaliation for his political views.

YUP. Where would you suggest bringing mom for happy hour?

I am planning to come to NYC for WC final week in mid July, what to expect the gay events happening there? will there be a lot of events?
solo traveler

trying to determine what my hesitancy to engage in casual flings might stem from.

I have contamination OCD so I'm taking all of the recommended vaccines for gay men and starting Doxypep. I'm hoping that helps me loosen up a bit because I get skeeved out even thinking about kissing people that I don't already know (unless they are super hot).

I have a desire to be more sexually open but feel like I'm going to feel used and disgusting after, especially if I don't know and trust the person.

I'm fine just engaging in side activities (because anal seems a bit too intimate with someone I'm not in a relationship with) but have to be really horny to even consider going on Grindr to meet someone to mess around with. That makes me feel like I'm gonna have some serious post-nut ick and feel gross after.

I've had one such hookup before and it took me a while (like weeks) to get over the encounter and it was with someone that I knew.

I would like to try to have a fun/slutty summer but it seems like I have a big hurdle to get over before I can enjoy myself. Any tips/advice would be much appreciated!

I know this is probably (potentially) such a loaded question with multiple avenues to address and such but I just had to ask because I’ve been feeling down about it. I’ve always been a people pleaser . Always wanted to put my best self forward , make only good impressions and have people think kindly of me . It feels very “pick me “ I know , it irritates me to no end . But when I let loose and potentially embarrass myself or make people annoyed , oh it takes a toll on me for a long time (happened just recently with a friend). And the thing is I give people grace with it’s the other way around but never to myself . How do I fix that ? What mindset should I have? I’m just tired of being trapped inside my head all the time by this . Thanks in advance!

Anyone selling them size L-Xl. Would definitely buy some . Will travel from queens

I’ve only ever attended the Blow Buddies events and have found them to be hit or miss, which I’m sure are like all events. Has anyone attend the bear parties recently? Thinking of potentially hitting up Wednesday’s party but am wondering if it’s worth it or not

I've been experimenting with bi stuff as of late, so I'm technically fine with having sex with a guy to do it. But I'm wondering, how common is it for receivers to have orgasms with no other penile contact? That's what I'm aiming to achieve. Are there receiving veterans that still haven't had a prostate orgasm?

I've recently been practicing trying to fully insert a 1.5" butt plug, so I'm still a ways away from taking an actual penis. But once it becomes manageable/easy, I can start seeking out people. FWIW I'm also seeking out buying a dildo to simulate penetration. I've had an aneros products for a few years and on and off I'd try them, and never had an orgasm. Closest felt like f'ing myself with the buttplug while extremely high last week.

Are there any Dad groups in town will be in Times Square area thought it would be kinda fun to get together with other dads or guys who admire Dad‘s

Random thought, lately I have noticed that maybe it’s because of becoming older and having more life experiences, I don’t feel nearly as attracted to some types of the guys that I used to find attractive.

For example, I was really into scruffy looking guys(growing up in a country where you don’t see a lot of them), now I still like them, but not something I’m too crazy about, since they are just so common here.

I used to also think that I was quite attracted to hairy looking bears, then I realized that I was actually attracted to the perceived masculinity, not to be mean or anything, but most bears are not that. And it’s harder for me to feel attracted to someone when I feel they don’t take good care of themselves. (Please don’t call me fatphobic). On the other hand, the roided looking guys also lost their appearss on me. It's not a sustainable look and takes away a lot of space for someone be more than just their looks.

The one quality that has always been important to me is kindness. Someone who is easy going and kind, is actually just incredibly sexy to me regardless of their physical attributes lol.

What are yours?

So, I'm 5'9, athletic, hung. I hooked up with this cute doctor this past weekend.

He sent disappearing pictures on Grindr so I kinda lost the notion that he was very hot (like muscled, but with a cute face) and just remembered he had a nice ass. When I got to his place I was surprised and like got a little nervous but like all good. However, he had a dog, a lousy french bulldog.

Listen, I'm a little awkward in nature and I've been fucking these beautiful boys for a while now but I still feel intimidated from time to time. Bro did not take the dog outside and I guess I avoided asking if he could. We got to kissing and things started happening, I sorta sensed that he's a little awkward with his body because he was kinda stiff from his limbs, like not flexible. He's struggling to take me inside of him and like I'm working my way into slowly thrusting inside him, and he's opening up, but struggling. We go about it for a while. I ask if I can suck on his toes, he says yes. I wonder if I should ask if we can change to another position, but I don't say anything.

Suddenly, dog randomly jumps on the bed and he's there behind me and I'm like scared for my balls as they're bouncing off this guy's ass. He's taking my dick better but struggling. And I just say, "You let me know when you want me to cum" so he's like yeah you can do it now, so I breed him. I put on my clothes and leave and that was really it. I feel like that was... suboptimal.

And Idk this was Saturday and I've kept replaying it on my mind thinking... oh should I text him and ask for a redo? like, maybe I can host this time or we can keep the dog somewhere else, and now I know what I'm up against so I'm not gonna be intimidated and I can communicate better (plus I mean, I already bred him lol)

Should I do it? I'm kinda scared he'll just say like "oh no, thanks that was enough" and also I hate it when I envision something like oh this was a good looking person that maybe could become a regular or something else? I know that's dumb.

What do you guys say?

Referring to ForeverAlone as folks who know they won't be another relationship ever again either by choice or not. Do you identify as such? How or why did you get here? Do you enjoy life as such?

A buddy of mine told me only about 20% of gay guys in NYC go to clubs, bars and sex parties(yeah i know they aren’t all the same but might as well be) and was wondering if anyone else thinks this is true or false.

If it is true, where the hell do they go to be…gay?

I know their Wednesday nights are jock strap nights, Saturday nights are usually packed and Sunday is beer blast. Was wondering if anyone has any experience going some of the other days, I heard that Monday nights are underrated. Does anyone know if there’s any truth to that?