r/needadvice

So as the title said a mutual friend who I met through my friends minecraft server who is now going through the internet looking for my accounts including some that I don't even use anymore. For context in the group there's a handful of us who are mostly only online friends, with about only 4 of us (including me) being from the same town and knowing each other irl. This does NOT include the person Im talking about.

The main problem lies in the fact that shes done this now a handful of times that Im aware of despite the fact each time I had already said no to giving her the account but also after Ive told her I do NOT want her just randomly going around and following my accounts.

So far she has found, my dead twitter account, a twitter account I made back in 2012, my pinterest accounts (there's 3 and shes found ALL of them), my instagram, and my tiktok. She also has my town name, because another mutual friend told her which only creeps me out more as shes made comments about ways to get ips before through links and recently started sending links in our private chats over just downloading and sharing it to me.

I'm not even telling her about these accounts, she herself is going into these spaces looking me up, going through my friends followings and just going around looking up stuff Im into to see if she can find me.

I've tried calling her out but each time she tells me 'I'm sorry, I was just bored.' and everyone else tells me Im over reaching because shes just a kid. Shes 17 turning 18 btw.

But I feel like this is getting to the point of being creepy or even stalking, since I was told last night that she actually watches for when I come online. Not that she just sits there and checks every now and then, no she has my profile up waiting while she does other stuff. I always though it was coincidence.

I've tried talking about this with one of our friends, but all Ive been told is its just weird shes doing that, its not creepy and Im over reacting. That everyone in the group knows which town Im from because three other people in the group are from there. I feel this is different though because they dont have someone watching their every move online.

I don't know what to do, Im worried I am over thinking this but at the same time Im not okay with whats happening.

if there's a better sub to post this in please let me know.

so basically a friend of mine had a bunch of teeth pulled about 2 weeks ago and so we currently has no upper teeth at all while he waits for everything to heal and then can get fitted for dentures. so in the meantime him and I have been having a really hard time coming up with ideas for meals for him in particular for him to take to work with him for lunch as he works a labor intensive job and needs a fairly substantial lunch, so basically soup's not going to cut it.

here is what we've come up with so far:

- shepherd's pie

- mashed potatoes

- tuna salad

- pasta of different kinds

- homemade cabbage rolls

- chilli

I'm just having a really hard time thinking of much of anything else, and he's honestly understandably sick of the few things that we've actually managed to think up, it's worth noting that sandwiches are out of the question entirely as apparently he can't even seem to bite through bread right now. so any ideas that you have would be more than welcome. thank you!!

I'm not trying to throw a pity party, This is a real material pattern, I just kind of... suck. At like everything I do. Most of it with my hands, but I have virtually no internal skills to compensate for it.

I struggle with buttons, pins, belts, tying knots, cooking without making a mess, tying shoes (thankfully can do this consistently but its harder than it ought to be) etc. I'm clumsy, forgetful, I have bad coping skills and stress tolerance, poor impulse control, I can type but its a weird way that is fast but causes bad spelling mistakes, though I'm bad at spelling in general (as is likely obvious). I struggle to focus reading, I have a hard time plugging in cords, I struggle with keys, I often lose balance randomly. I can't put things together, and I can't really watch someone do something and then repeat it. I see it and often just cannot understand it. Remember someone was trying to show me how to roll a joint and I could see what they were doing but it just didn't register and I couldn't imitate. Terrible at math too. You name it, I'm likely bad at it.

Social skills basically nonexistent. I can talk, I can get laughs, I try to be empathetic, selfless, inoffensive, but I just cannot impress or connect with anyone. I've never been anyone's person. Certainly not good with girls either, but that's the least of my concern.

I have some internal skills. I'm a medicore writer, I can do abstract or interpretive thinking about media, but that's kind of it. I can articulate but am more verbose than actually clear. Length cannot substitute substance. I've been told I'm smart, a couple friends have told me I'm too smart to understand sometimes. Sounds like flattery or just a skill mismatch. I don't think there's an Einstein tuck inside somewhere. If there was, he wouldn't have gotten a worthless history degree. Articulation isn't intellegence anyway. But it can be a good actor. But I'm not even articulate. This post could probably be a lot shorter.

I was sheltered as a kid. Parents told me to focus on school. I did, I ended up a B student. I could have tried harder but I didn't get ADHD diagnosed til I graduated. Apparently I'm a top 5% severity case, at least thats what the shape and color test my doctor gave me said. On meds for that now. Have helped me start getting reps in.

ADHD is not a very convincing excuse though.

So I never really got pushed and was left to be raised on the internet. I think "benign neglect" is maybe the term. They were very loving and supportive. Ended up with virtually no friends, no extracuriculars, and fine enough grades. Good for many years, but sort of sputtered out Junior and Senior year.

"Benign neglect" isn't an excuse either. it is absolutley not their fault. Any worthwhile child would have actually tried harder. I take accountability. I just wish I had help earlier.

23, no full time job yet. Had a part time in HS, did an internship for 3 months in Tokyo. That's it.

I just am incompetent to a point it doesn't seem like an identity claim, but more material reality?

How do I fix this? I don't even know how to "practice" being a functional, reasonably capable human being. Does anyone have experience with this?

I am getting a little better. Losing a lot of weight, setting aside time to read recreationally. Applying to jobs consistenty too. Was volunteering but got burnt out. I'm doing somethings but clearly not enough.

How can I reach the level of "normal"?

I'm 17 years old. Six months ago, in August, I found out that my guardian has cancer. He tried to prolong the time when I didn't know about it as much as possible. He has stage 4. I can talk a lot about how it happened that I live with him, who he is, and how we slowly came to this realization. However, it doesn't really matter. The main thing is that I feel very ashamed. I'm ashamed that I think too much about what will happen to me after he dies, and that I feel bad because he's sick. I think I'm too selfish and don't spend enough time with him, and I don't notice how bad he is.

Because of this, I've started avoiding him. I come home late, leave early, and when I'm at home, I try to stay in my room. I'm sure he feels hurt. It's so selfish of me, but I can't think about how bad he is because I quickly become a pathetic crybaby.I don't know what to do about it. I should probably spend more time with him or something. He's going through chemotherapy, but his lifestyle isn't helping him. I should probably make sure he's following the doctors' recommendations, support him, and a lot of other things. But I don't know exactly what to do. I'd appreciate any advice.

Hello. I decided to write here because I feel very lonely and I need help and advice.

I have been living in isolation for a few months now, in a rural area, and I don’t know how to escape my toxic family.

At first, I couldn’t stay in my university city anymore and had to move back home, but my parents assured me that I would have a job nearby (because they had arranged something) and a car. None of that became reality.

They are very misogynistic and believe that my purpose in the house is to cook, clean, endure everything, stay quiet, and do whatever they say, just because they raised me and think I owe them everything.

Of course, my brother has all the freedom in the world, and nothing is expected from him. He gets praised even for the smallest things.

I don’t know how I will get out of this house because I don’t have friends I can stay with, so I need money. Honestly, I’m tired of hearing them and seeing them. I feel sick of what they have become, because they weren’t always like this… or maybe they were just pretending.

If I leave one dish unwashed, my mother starts telling me: “What will you do when you have a husband and kids?” Even though I’ve said multiple times that I don’t want a traditional family and I don’t want children (I also have a health issue), and honestly I don’t even like kids.

One time I mentioned that if I had a future husband, he would also do the dishes, and they started slamming chairs and told me I was exaggerating.

If anyone has gone through something similar, do you think they can ever change or accept boundaries? Do you think it’s worth keeping contact with them after I leave?

please

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I'm 22 female, I graduated in 2024 with a degree in computer applications but I couldn't get a job in IT so I joined the BPO Industry due to financial reasons working in calling and customer support profile. I have 1.5 years of experience in this industry but there's no growth.

i want to switch into IT anyhow. Some people recommend faking my BPO Experience as an IT experience. I have good knowledge of Data Structures and I solve Leetcode regularly. I also know the basics of MERN Stack and I have projects I built during college.

What Should I do? I feel stuck in Life with no career growth and opportunities. I'm the only daughter in my family and I have so much financial pressure.

07/2024 I got a helix piercing that was pierced totally wrong. After I noticed it definitely won’t heal I took it out, especially bc it hurt so bad. I now have a scar of it which still hurts whenever I lay on it too long. P my sleeping side and it sucks.

I won’t do anything about it but I’m curious if hypothetically I could sue or not.

Location: Germany