guardian
I'm 17 years old. Six months ago, in August, I found out that my guardian has cancer. He tried to prolong the time when I didn't know about it as much as possible. He has stage 4. I can talk a lot about how it happened that I live with him, who he is, and how we slowly came to this realization. However, it doesn't really matter. The main thing is that I feel very ashamed. I'm ashamed that I think too much about what will happen to me after he dies, and that I feel bad because he's sick. I think I'm too selfish and don't spend enough time with him, and I don't notice how bad he is.
Because of this, I've started avoiding him. I come home late, leave early, and when I'm at home, I try to stay in my room. I'm sure he feels hurt. It's so selfish of me, but I can't think about how bad he is because I quickly become a pathetic crybaby.I don't know what to do about it. I should probably spend more time with him or something. He's going through chemotherapy, but his lifestyle isn't helping him. I should probably make sure he's following the doctors' recommendations, support him, and a lot of other things. But I don't know exactly what to do. I'd appreciate any advice.