r/hikikomori

Full of fakes and normies

Literally every day I plan to go on a walk and then I tell myself it’s too early in the morning and then I say I can’t go out in the day since that would be too overwhelming so I’ll just wait for the sun to start setting and then I think there will probably be a bunch of people out of work and school and then I say it’s too late to go on a walk when it’s nighttime and I do that every single day without fail😭 and in the mean time because I genuinely believe I’m about to turn my life around I just start fantasising about going on jogs and going to clubs and studying in a library and meeting friends and never manage to start

xD I did manage to drink a bunch of vodka and go to a rave at night with these girls I’d never met before though so a win is a win I also tried weed for the first time and I pretty much blacked out the entire time and accidentally fell so I’m kind of worried that they wouldn’t want to go out again but ;; it’s my new year’s resolution to try to get out more and try making friends since I’m starting school again in September and I want to be somewhat normal since I haven’t had irl friends since I was a teen

Do you?

Dick pics , sexual kink requests, threats of violence , offers to pay me for sex.. it’s an absolute clusterfuck on there , this isn’t dating or even worth anyone’s time.. I imagine it wasn’t like this in the beginning for these apps but somewhere along the way people regressed to monkey

People in society can't talk about anything that is taboo and they get seriously harmed by it.

Pink elephants run amok but good luck if you choose to point it out.

The more time I spend by myself the less society makes sense or is even admirable. Things get clearer with more time spent in my fortress of solitude.

i dunno if this is rlly the right place to look for friends, pls forgive me, its my first time on reddit. im still in school and ik im not rlly a hikki, but ISTG i just know i will be/will try to be when im older. LF hikki friends ig, might aswell get used to it now.

socializing sucks. idk if its just people my age that i cant handle, but everything at school is so draining. all i wanna do is sit in my room and listen to music and talk to online friends.

looking for more friends tho, idm age, gender, or location. im chronically online, so probs answer most of the time.

into psychological horror games, shows, and also honkai star rail. open to play any other free games! i love metal and vkei and open to more genres.

im not that dry!!!! very clingy tbh, and idm messaging first occasionally.

u can dm me here/message on discord @.4x1s. (w the period at the end)

The world has no grasp on me. I passively watch my life unfold before my eyes, and nothing affects me. Hence, I have no affective life. This is what psychiatrists call « anhedonia » but no amount of antidepressants or any other kind of pill will heal this anhedonia as long as I maintain this passive attitude of indifference.

I think that this feeling, or more exactly, lack of feeling, stems from a radical form of nihilism.

There are several acceptations of the term nihilism. It is commonly used to describe people who lack a sense of moral obligations. It has also been used as a derogative term to designate atheists : those who don’t believe in God or the eternal life of the soul. In response to this, Nietzsche reversed the meaning of the term “nihilism” to describe those who denigrate material life and carnal pleasures in favor of the afterlife and spiritual edification. This is what I mean when I say that hikikomoris and a lot of people nowadays, succumbed to nihilism.

A lot of people aspire to the kind of peace of mind or ataraxia as the Greek called it that was considered the pinnacle of human existence, the « eudaimonia », the principle of happiness. According to the Stoics, once you’re able to distinguish between what is under your control and what isn’t, you reach a state of perfect calm and serenity because 1) if it’s under your control then there’s no reason to panic because you can prevent it from happening and 2) if it’s not under your control, then there’s no reason to panic either because there’s nothing you can do about it.

I think I’ve done it guys. I’ve reached ataraxia. In fact I think that most hikikomoris more or less reached ataraxia. Hikikomoris are the perfect incarnation of the stoics ideal. They are people who are completely unable to fulfill their desires or social expectations and beyond that, they are perfectly aware that there’s nothing that they can do about it.

There’s even no point in trying to justify yourself, because people won’t understand anyway, that’s why hikikomoris are content with terse, Bartleby-style replies: "I would prefer not to." Since there is no point in trying anything, there is no passion, no desire, no dreams left that could orient action. The only thing left is a mild feeling of « preference ». I prefer not to go out, not to talk with other people, not because I want to but because it’s the only option available. It’s a non choice.

Where does this nihilism come from? I think it’s an extreme form of resignation. Over the years, I’ve slowly come to the conclusion that I’m hopeless, there’s nothing to be done about me. Every time I get an urge to meet people, to get outside, to do anything other than my usual routine, there’s a set of automatic thoughts that come to my mind immediately. I am reminded of all the times when I tried to get along with others, to have fun with them, basically to just be normal, and failed miserably. The worst thing is, it’s not my anxious depressive brain distorting the facts, it’s true, even when I reflect on it rationally, I really am completely unfit for social interactions.

I used to be very angry, not that long ago and I still am sometimes but much less often than before… I think that’s because my ego hadn’t completely given up on me yet and it was trying to persuade me that this life, this existence was unfair, that I deserved more.

But the things is, all of that frustration, all of that anger it’s just too painful to maintain on the long run especially if there is no perspective of getting out of it any time soon.

So, at some point, it becomes a necessity to succumb to self-pity, to a complete denial of any form of ego or narcissism. I just accepted that I am, by essence, stupid, boring and useless and that there’s nothing that I can do about it.

And once this belief got sufficiently infused in my psyche so that it became an integral part of my automatic thoughts, the anger started to recede, just as all of my other emotions. In a way, the self deprecating thoughts are soothing.

That’s why I’m so detached from everything, that’s why there id this distance between me and others, but also between me and myself that I talked about in other posts. I simply don’t care anymore. I’ve achieved nirvana, I’ve diluted my ego and now, since I know full well that no matter how much painful it is, I can’t escape the loneliness, the shame and the anxiety, they no longer have any hold on me.

Events just happen around me and I don’t have any hold on them. It’s like a TV show. This is pure detachment from everything, this is nirvana.

I want to do it soon by railroad near me. I almost did it in 2018 or 19, but I was too coward back then and felt like I had to see what this life has to offer. Well i'm glad I stuck around for a while, it's been painful decade for me, but I kinda feel at peace now and ready to go. I'm glad I stuck to this moment because I found my God, I feel like afterlife is so much better than life on earth could ever be for me. I have some projects that I would like to finish, but it would take years, maybe I'll stick around till I finish my projects and then truly feel like I've accomplished most important things for me, but damn, this feels like a good time to leave earth. Would be really nice to leave this place somewhat peaceful and quick. Laying on railroad would be messy but I imagine quick, painless and guaranteed death. Very much thinking about it.

Just curious.

I kind of just live with shit but how do others do it for the same day, it’s been 3 years for me

Even when normies get annoyed by someone a bit they come so aggressive and toxic and start to harm others

Thats why normies always bully each other endlessly they never want peace or tolerence how could this world be full of people like normies i cant stand this compelete normie world i hate normies so much

f18 even though I’m doing mentally better and I actually want to live after years of not wanting to and being depressed as a child I still find comfort in reading posts from this sub and similar subreddits. I mean I’m still lonely but I don’t feel the need to isolate myself further or hide from people out of fear of getting hurt or being used. I have or I should say I had trust issues but now I feel like I can begin trusting again and not be so defensive or hostile about it. I really do empathize with the past versions of me though and I have nothing but compassion towards myself but I sometimes find myself just coming back to places like these because although I have a better mindset now I suppose I’m attached to who I was because in a way that’s still me to some degree and it’s not like I completely stopped being that person. I think what’s changed even though it’s subtle is again the fact I actually want to live and like for years basically my entire life I didn’t want to keep on going. I still get sad sometimes and I experience negative emotions and thoughts but I don’t dwell in them for too long. I think the only thing that gives me anxiety is like if I go to college what that will be like and if I’ll make any friends or if I won’t have any just like in high school where I only made one but we lost touch.

i wanted to be friends :( com back

I just got random questions.

1. What sort of things do you do day to day? Like maybe fitness writing drawing etc

2. Do you have any hobbies? Or atleast any skills or goals your looking forward to

3. Do you feel bored when you’re not online? If so maybe people in this thread can give you things to do not online

4. Are you happy? Or atleast trying to help yourself I feel like some hikis are content with themselves

Teto

Bonjour à tous (les jeunes.. Je dois être l'un des plus vieux..)

Tout d'abord, "courage" si vous traînez sur ce forum c'est que de toute façon c'est pas trop la forme vous aussi

J'ai 41 ans et cela fait 6 ans que je me repli de plus en plus sur moi même.. En fait depuis le décès de Aurélie, ma copine.

On s'était rencontré dans un hôpital psychiatrique (ces endroit sont horrible je ne vous souhaite pas d'y tomber.. J'y ai fais 26 séjour en 16 ans à partir de mes 27 ans)

Dans ces endroit tu est obligé de prendre des drogue, on t'empêche de sortir, et les 3 premiers fois ça a duré 3 mois de suite, ct horrible, personne m'expliquait ce qui était en train de m'arriver, pourquoi on me retenais enfermé, pourquoi on me droguait)

Mais bon, dans tout ce malheur j'ai pu rencontrer ma copine, ça a duré 3 ans c'était terrible(attention tout n'était pas parfait elle m'en faisais voir de toute les couleur, on n'avait pas du tout le même passé, elle avait eut plein de copains et moi ct ma première fois)

Elle avait fait une tentative de suicide à 18 ans elle avait était opéré et tout... Donc les "médecins" lui prescrivait énormément de médicaments.... Ct la folie..

C'est ce qui l'a tué.. Un jour, gt pas chez elle, elle a perdu connaissance à cause de tout ces cachet (il y'a marqué "mort inexpliqué" sur les notices) elle s'est cogner la tête.. FIN DE L'HISTOIRE

Je suis allé voir les policiers pour en savoir plus, je vous conseille de pas avoir affaire à eut (y'a même une fois où deux agents masqué avec fusil d'assaut on débarqué chez moi pour m'obliger à aller à l'hôpital.. Et j'avais rien fait.... VIVE LA DÉMOCRATIE FRANÇAISE

Bref j'ai pas eut des masses d'info pour aider à faire mon deuil..

S'en ai suivi un an après une tentative de suicide, g fini avec une prothèse dans le bras.

Encore un an après une autre TS... Opération de la main..

En parallèle de tout ça j'essaie de devenir auteur de bd.. De comics (pour les anglais du forum)

Ma famille m'enfoncait jusque là.. Mais depuis deux ans il prennent des cours pour essayer de comprendre "les gens comme moi" donc niveau famille ma mère mon père et ma sœur son la (avant ct pas le cas)

J'ai vu une assistante social qui m'a donné le statue d'handicaper.. Du coup je touche l'aah.. Plus besoin de travailler, de toute façon la plus part du temps je peux pas sortir de chez moi...

Donc depuis peu j'ai décider que ce monde de merde me faisait vraiment chier et que je deviendrai un vrai Hikikomori (à défaut de partir à Kyoto en résidence dans la villa Kujoyama..)

Je sors plus que pour faire une promenade ou je veux voir personne (à la campagne ou j'habite c tous des fous.. Mais en ville y'a trop d'arabe et de noir, c gens ne peuvent pas me voir, il y'a même un tunisien qui se prétendait mon avis qui m'a violer durant mon sommeil... C pas des connerie, je m'en suis souvenu 3 ans après, comme un flash back de série tv)

J'ai paniqué et je me suis retrouvé en service psychiatrique, ct le début de l'histoire.............

...

Voilà, merci de m'avoir lu. Si vous êtes plus ou moins Hikikomori dite vous que c'est une manière de vous défendre de ce monde qui a mon sens est devenu complètement fou depuis 2008 et oui vous étiez tout jeune :)

Protégez vous

Rester enfermé si ça vous aide, si vous pouvez.

Et mettez un pied dehors de temps en temps pour prendre la température.. On ne sait jamais on pourrai se réveiller dans un film de Hayao Miyazaki un jour (je fais de la bd dans ce but)

Avoir des rêve c,'est important (moi je rêve de visiter le Japon)

Mais depuis 6 mois je vois presque plus ma famille

Mes amis. M' ont trahi. La femme de ma vie et morte.

Alors j'attends la mort, j'ai plus la force de me suicider, alors j'ai encore 40ans à vivre profiter de l'air frais voir le soleil regarder le futur dernier film de miyazaki...

Voilou

Merci de m'avoir lu jusqu'à la fin..

Courage à vous

Soyez fort

Et essayez de voir du pisitif même si c'est très dur