At a weird spot in life
f18 even though I’m doing mentally better and I actually want to live after years of not wanting to and being depressed as a child I still find comfort in reading posts from this sub and similar subreddits. I mean I’m still lonely but I don’t feel the need to isolate myself further or hide from people out of fear of getting hurt or being used. I have or I should say I had trust issues but now I feel like I can begin trusting again and not be so defensive or hostile about it. I really do empathize with the past versions of me though and I have nothing but compassion towards myself but I sometimes find myself just coming back to places like these because although I have a better mindset now I suppose I’m attached to who I was because in a way that’s still me to some degree and it’s not like I completely stopped being that person. I think what’s changed even though it’s subtle is again the fact I actually want to live and like for years basically my entire life I didn’t want to keep on going. I still get sad sometimes and I experience negative emotions and thoughts but I don’t dwell in them for too long. I think the only thing that gives me anxiety is like if I go to college what that will be like and if I’ll make any friends or if I won’t have any just like in high school where I only made one but we lost touch.