r/butchlesbians

This has never been a problem before but for the past couple days whenever my partner goes to give me head I can't go through with it and enjoy it. I don't have dysphoria about the way I get head. I have a T dick and it's treated like a dick etc and it works great for me. But the last couple of days when my partner wanted to spontaneously give me head while we were out at their work (it's a private place off a dirt road where no one would catch us and we were the only people around for a quarter mile) I felt selfish for recieving head and started getting conscious of how long it was going to take me to cum and I had to stop. They love giving me head and it was their idea but I just felt so selfish and like a burden.

Then the next day we were having sex as normal and I made them cum, but after when they tried to move focus to making me cum I again started feeling selfish and like I was taking too long/worrying about their neck hurting, etc. I asked to stop and we talked about it and they were very affirming and attempted to get me back in the mood/show they were genuinely interested in giving me head by kissing my neck etc but I just burst into tears and apologised. They were great about it and of course didn't press it any further and we just cuddled and took a nap but I felt so useless and confused.

Later that night before bed I tried to initiate them giving me head, again something they really enjoy and something that wouldn't usually ever be an issue, (especially because after the day before and the day this happened I had kept getting myself horny and then not cumming which had me really sexually frustrated despite my inability to do anything about it) but I choked again and had to stop and I just felt so despondent and kinda embarrassed and emasculated I guess. Like I'm meant to be their dom and I can't fuck my girlfriend's mouth without freaking out? It was the same feelings that time too except with the additional fear that I was keeping them up and if I took too long I was going to deprive them of sleep, as they're really good about sleep hygiene.

I have a question if this behavior is normal my girlfriend or ex gf told me she only dated me exclusively bc she thought I was going to buy her a truck for her business and once I didn’t she said she was already hooked on me so she stayed but since she’s on the road trucking right now her family has cut her off financially and now that I told her I can’t keep paying for things since I had already spent 4000 in the first three months of being together since I paid for most of our outings, and food and helped our with some truck repairs and trucking supplies. Now that I’m no longer on the road with her she was on FaceTime with me a lot and one day she hung up on me and then said she can’t be on the phone with me all the time it’s not like I pay her phone bill and I said to her I didn’t know I have to pay her phone bill for her to call or text me and that makes me feel like a desperate old sugar daddy and she said dealing with a woman like me she’s gonna go bankrupt and then she got ready went to the gay club to find a replacement. I sent a text saying this is the moment she can’t come back from and blocked her just curious if all studs all financially dependent on their femmes? I really have never been the financial bread winner and am currently unemployed and was when we met and she knew I had limited savings

Hi! I'm looking for haircut ideas, and no amount of scrolling on Pinterest has helped. I have an oval face and a high forehead. I'm younger, so I don't want something that will age me too much. My hair is currently cut like Vi from Arcane. My hair is straight and the only way I'm able to get any waves is with a flat iron and I don't want to do that everyday, hence the style switch. Any help or ideas would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

I just received my first order from tomboyx and I'm really happy with the sizing, but the seams on the bottom of the leg holes of both styles I ordered are a bit scratchy and it's just enough that I think it will keep me from wearing them.

I ordered the period bikini and 4.5 inch trunk (the cotton not the modal).

Has anyone found that the seam threads get softer with wear and wash or should I cut my losses and return these (they are unworn)?

I’ve been lurking for a while and would like to ask what fragrances ya’ll would recommend?? I’m on a pretty tight budget right now and am in the UK so options are pretty tight. On Christmas I was gifted Azzaro Most Wanted Intense and I ADORE it however it gets a bit much as the weather is warming up and I would like to buy another one for the summer! I quite like Dior Sauvage and I haven’t got the money to spend at the minute but I also like smoky, woody and fresh fragrances. The most I’d like to spend is £50 so I understand that my options are pretty limited but any suggestions are welcome, thank you!!

Hello everyone!

Currently in a very frustrating situation. I’ve dealt with migraine for 10 years and it’s been well controlled but I am in a tough spot now where I’m dealing with occipital neuralgia and a myriad of problems with my neck/shoulders. This means binding is painful, and I don’t have any trans tape / similar brands of tape to sub out my binder with, only some non-compressing sports bras. Somewhat short on funds for substitutions right now too because I’m moving! Not being able to bind has led to me feeling really disconnected from my body and is affecting my mental health even more than the baseline chronic pain is.

Have any of you had this specific issue? It feels so isolating to have to not only deal with this really serious flare and the constant pain, but to feel so unlike myself because I can’t bind. I look in the mirror and feel awful. Just feeling quite down about myself and how I’m presenting :( Any advice or commiseration welcome!!!

I have been working out for 3 years now and recently I've been progressing fast since I started counting my calories and gaining weight (I am eating in a calorie surplus because I am underweight). Most girls just want a toned body and big busts but I'd really hate that. My goal is to build big muscles. I've seen some content on social media talking about how chest workouts can help make the breasts look bigger because of the muscles underneath and a lot of the comments mentioned that their cup size increased. Since then I've been scared to lift heavier and progress my chest workout because I really hate my chest, they are small but I really don't want them to look bigger. I am really worried about it especially since I am gaining weight, I don't want to gain fat in that area, but I know it's mostly genetics.

What should I do to avoid this? Is it okay to reduce my chest workouts? I have heard that it could be bad for posture if I build my back and ignore my chest but how bad could it really be? I also don't wear a bra at all because my breasts are small enough that I don't need any support and it makes me really uncomfortable and I hate it so wearing a binder isn't an option that I want to go with.

I have asked this before in a fitness subreddit but the answers I got just made me feel really bad, they were all saying that I should be wanting big breasts and there's something wrong with me so I'm hoping I can get some proper advice from here.

TLDR: Need advice on how to gain weight and muscles without increasing chest appearance.

Desperately needing some help, I feel like I’m having a bit of a crisis. Anything is appreciated.

Important info related to my title: I have had depression and anxiety my entire life. I was outed when I was 10 years old and was badly bullied for it. A lot of stuff happened to me that essentially made me hate my sexuality and myself deeply. I have contemplated killing myself and have almost gone through with it a few times. All in all, my relationship to my sexuality is awful and I’ve never quite fixed it or improved it. Seems to get worse year over year, frankly.

When I had a period of unemployment where I really focused on self-healing, I did feel like for the first time in 16 years I was happy about being gay and content with myself. But then, my self hatred was made much worse by my “thing” with a bisexual woman who has never been with a woman. I fell in love with her. I’m totally fine with the fact that she’s bi (obviously), but what hurts is that it reminded me of how different I am and how gross I feel about myself. She has/d feelings for me, but can’t be with me for some personal reasons, but has had dates and situationships with men without issue. That’s the part that hurts me and reminds me of my insecurities.

I only mention this because it’s what’s really propelling this crisis to the forefront of my brain.

Now, here’s the thing: I’ve always wanted to be normal, and that manifested as wanting to be a man. I never wanted to be straight because I really don’t want to be with a man (for obvious reasons). But, for the vast majority of my life I’ve wanted to be a man. I’ve also dealt with a great deal of penis envy which frankly would not be fixed by transitioning as I know the surgeries and would prefer the less involved of the two main options if I were to go through with it.

The thing is, though, I never got to experience life as a “normal” person. I mean, I got 10 years to be a kid and then the rest of my life was stolen from me. So how am I supposed to know if my feelings are being driven by gender dysphoria or just a deep self hatred? Have any of you dealt with this at all?

Right now, I’m fine with going by she/her and when people think I’m a man, I’m not offended (except when it puts me in danger like at the gym). I feel like in an intimate (not just sexual) setting that he/him would make me happy, but I don’t have anyone in my life who’s close enough to see if I enjoy it. I hate when people call me really gendered terms like “queen” but don’t mind the gender neutral “girl.” (I actually told my friend to stop calling me “queen” and that’s the first time I’ve ever done something like that) I don’t really subscribe to being nonbinary as there’s just something about that label that doesn’t “fit” with who I am. I also would prefer against they/them pronouns for myself. It just doesn’t feel right for me. I think I like the term transmasc for my own personal identity, but am unsure what it actually “entails” both physically and emotionally. Essentially, I don’t know how it feels to be transmasc or a trans man.

I think right now, I consider my sexuality and my gender identity to be the same thing: butch lesbian. I don’t tell people that, other than to you all, but that’s what I think is true. I know butches can be on T and get top surgery, but how do you know that’s what you want before you go through with it? Do you wear binders or try to pass as a man first? What can you do to pass as a man more? I’ve never tried to do that. Most people just see me as a butch lesbian.

Sorry this is long and sorry if it’s at all a common question, hoping for any help even if it’s just empathy. I don’t have many friends to talk about this with. Most of my friends are straight men or bisexual women. I wish I had butches in my life!! This is so lonely.

https://preview.redd.it/l9mrv2ss0awg1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=872be9499faeb15da935638b24e8ab972fb50234