Suddenly choking when my partner tries to reciprocate
This has never been a problem before but for the past couple days whenever my partner goes to give me head I can't go through with it and enjoy it. I don't have dysphoria about the way I get head. I have a T dick and it's treated like a dick etc and it works great for me. But the last couple of days when my partner wanted to spontaneously give me head while we were out at their work (it's a private place off a dirt road where no one would catch us and we were the only people around for a quarter mile) I felt selfish for recieving head and started getting conscious of how long it was going to take me to cum and I had to stop. They love giving me head and it was their idea but I just felt so selfish and like a burden.
Then the next day we were having sex as normal and I made them cum, but after when they tried to move focus to making me cum I again started feeling selfish and like I was taking too long/worrying about their neck hurting, etc. I asked to stop and we talked about it and they were very affirming and attempted to get me back in the mood/show they were genuinely interested in giving me head by kissing my neck etc but I just burst into tears and apologised. They were great about it and of course didn't press it any further and we just cuddled and took a nap but I felt so useless and confused.
Later that night before bed I tried to initiate them giving me head, again something they really enjoy and something that wouldn't usually ever be an issue, (especially because after the day before and the day this happened I had kept getting myself horny and then not cumming which had me really sexually frustrated despite my inability to do anything about it) but I choked again and had to stop and I just felt so despondent and kinda embarrassed and emasculated I guess. Like I'm meant to be their dom and I can't fuck my girlfriend's mouth without freaking out? It was the same feelings that time too except with the additional fear that I was keeping them up and if I took too long I was going to deprive them of sleep, as they're really good about sleep hygiene.