r/badtwosentencehorrors

i died from tentacle porn and you're all going to die too please buy toilet paper because the tentacles are creamy and sticky.

Onion rings

“Hello” said the 8’9, Natty, swole, blond haired, blue eyed, corn fed Polish-American from the mid west, has a chance at the NFL, giga Chad who out mogged clavicular and so happens to be a femboy impregnator.

I mean, she put her hair up in "cinnamon buns" so obviously she should have been wearing the white dress, like, that hairstyle is not even from the same film, everyone knows with the gold bikini she wears her hair in a single long braid and why was she holding Darth Vader's lightsaber, seriously, how would Vader's lightsaber end up on Jabba's sail barge, it makes no sense, honestly, I'm so angry right now.

racism isnt funny knock it off and also, id never say the nword, because im not racist!

Then I had to go pee

HAHAHAHA PSYCHE, BOO! 😈 🐝

I am a ring of muscle at the end of the digestive tract that regulates the evacuation of faecal matter from the rectum, AITAH?

So much was her rage, that she put a terrible curse on all who have used it...

And I must make funny noises like "Gubbugu! Gubbugu!" and "quwiwiwiwi," because I have to get my baby niece to calm down, as she simply won't stop screaming since she saw me because of the whole "no mouth" thing.

My eyes can either look at her or hear what she's saying, not both.

P.S. she was using a bomb gun

My dog shot him

"Well, whatever it is, can you get it to stop beating me to death with my own arm?"

"Bring forth your vegans that they may answer for their crimes" said Saladicus, the sentient lettuce and leader of the salad uprising that had just overthrown humanity

Little did I know, he was the lying killer man.

He's vegan.

When suddenly the fart man.

There was a book titled “how to turn your homie into a submissive breedable femboy housewife”