r/abortion

My husband and i had sex one night a month ago after a night of drinking with his brothers. We had sex and during i asked him to let me know when he was going to finish so he could pull out (which is the method we’ve been using since our toddler was born) He responded with “i already did”. So he finished inside of me without my permission. Yes we are married but we both knew we didn’t want anymore kids. Fast forward to now (a month later) i’m pregnant and i’m scheduled for a termination of the pregnancy.

Idk how to feel.. or who to blame. Is it us both or was he at fault in putting my in this situation? I have so many mixed emotions towards him. I’m mad but i also need him right now. It’s such a confusing feeling. I cannot believe i’m getting an abortion in my 40’s. We just don’t have the finances and means for a third child. I feel so guilty for doing this but a slight sense of “i just want to get this over with” feeling too. He feels awful and keeps apologizing to me.

Is this reason for divorce? do i stay? i just don’t know but i am so mad that he is mostly the reason why im having to go through this.

hi, i’m 21 (f) and i just found out im pregnant a few days ago. im about 4 weeks pregnant. i ordered abortion pills from aid access and they’re supposed to be here tomorrow, i’m taking them friday with my boyfriend. honestly, i’m so scared. i’ve been crying for days and im crying as i write this while at school. i can’t stop thinking about it. i feel so alone and afraid. i can barely eat or sleep, i’ve read so many horror stories about the pain and i feel so scared but i know i have to do it, i can’t have a child right now. i just want this to be over, i feel so alone. i’m planning on taking ibuprofen and tylenol before and also ordered zofran for nausea. i’m just so scared of the pain. i can’t concentrate on anything else and i don’t feel like myself at all. i just want this so be over, ive never felt more alone and scared in my life. if anyone has any advice or stories i would really appreciate it.

I am 5 weeks.

I am 29, married, financially ok. Even thought this is what I wanted so purposefully decided not to use contraception. No real reason to terminate my pregnancy other than the deep fear, dread and regret that came after seeing that positive test. We did not expect it to happen first try. I know that is naive.

There has been no excitement, I have been in severe distress for 7 days, in mental torment. I thought we were ready to start trying, but I was wrong. We are not ready and I have realised I do not want to do this now. Neither does my husband. We made a mistake. My mental health has suffered from this and I think it will suffer more if I were to continue this pregnancy.

I am pro-choice. I am not religious, didn’t have a religious wedding, but the for some reason I am being flooded with fear of making an unforgivable sin and going to a place of eternal torment. To the extent that I am deep diving through religious scriptures and Christian opinions which I have never thought twice about in my life. This is making me seriously conflicted about my decision. I don’t want to take a life. I have contacted my GP multiple times, they have prescribed medication and diazepam. I feel like there is no correct decision here and it’s making me sick.

Please go easy, I am extremely fragile and no one is giving me a harder time than myself at the minute. Has anyone else had these thoughts prior to termination?

Hello,
I’m in the Middle East, unfortunately womenonweb and women web both don’t deliver to my country, I’m at a loss on what to do. I’m only 5 weeks. And it’s illegal here to get an abortion, let alone premarital sex.

I can’t get my hands on misoprostol, is it possible for me to use Dioclofenac as I heard it causes early miscarriages in the first trimester, would it be relatively safe to use? Please I’m desperate.

**** I am about 3 weeks pregnant**

Never in a million here thought I would be in a group and yet thinking of an abortion.

We have 2 kids

One 13 and the other 6yrs. My youngest has autism and is on the hyper side which is fine. My oldest has a speech impediment which is fine and adhd. Both my boys need help with there hwk and my youngest goes to therapies alot. My husband is on disability and we dont know when he will return to work. We live in my parent's house. The house is pretty big. But honestly we are no where near financially stable

I dont know what to do. This is the 1st time I have brought up anything like this. I just think about how hard it can be with a 3rd baby and not be ready.

Has anyone been in this position. ?

My husband said its up to me bc im the one that will go through the pain and possible question it as what if the baby this and that...

Im just stuck!

im about to have a second abortion. I feel like I dont deserve the space I take up. I feel so ashamed of myself. I know that I am luckier than many other women in my position, because I have the right to choose. I know I am 'privileged' in that sense. how can i shift my perspective and be grateful that I have autonomy over my body? when I know so many women are denied it. I feel like utter shit about my situation but I want to try and feel empowered that I'm able to make a decision that so many women before me and are currently denied. so many women suffered for my current right to choose, I want to be grateful for them, not feel like a waste of space that the patriarchy wants me to feel

hi, i recently had an abortion on saturday evening and i feel terrible. me and my boyfriend found out a month ago that i was pregnant and agreed an abortion was the best thing to do but i did want to keep it. despite it being the best thing for the baby, i feel terrible. i cant think about it or look at a baby / a pregnant woman without crying and feeling uncomfortable. i have cried excessively over the regret and its all i can think about and i dont know what to do

I’m 22 and had an abortion procedure in NYC, a few days ago. I previously spoke with aetna about making sure my dad would not be able to receive my information of the appointment however when I called today they told me that because he is the primary account holder all of my claims and eobs will show up on his monthly statements, i can not even see any of my own eobs from my account.

I thought there was a way to have a confidentiality request and get it rerouted but when i spoke with a lady today and was only hold 3-5 times while she talked to her supervisor and the conclusion she same to was “the only thing you can do is have your own insurance”.

I’m very nervous because I don’t want my parents to find out about this. I thought for sure for reproductive cases like this I HIPPA would be protected but she said the only thing that HIPPA protects is direct diagnostic information but the procedure name, code, date, location, etc will still be visible. I’m so confused.

Is it harder to get pregnant again after taking the abortion pills?

I tried to schedule a surgical abortion in San Diego, I mentioned that I am coming from out of state. They said I need to stay for a week for my follow up appointment. This is not possible for me. What can I do ?

Hello everyone, I don’t know exactly what to say but I’m 26 and have been in a relationship for 10 years so this should be great news but I can’t even afford life for myself and have been working so hard lately to get myself in a better place to be ready to start a family and get hit with this. I was supposed to get my period about a week ago and just took a test this morning. I’m on birth control too I’m just so scared and there’s no one I can talk to besides my boyfriend but he’s in it for the first time too. I’m scheduled for an appointment to have it done with a pill on Monday but I’m so scared. Could someone walk me through what to expect or just offer some support, I have to work the next day too so I’m hoping it’s not too intense.

not only am i pregnant, but i am about 24 weeks pregnant. i am officially past the legal limit in my state (new york) i am a heavy drug user & drinker, and as i’ve had super irregular periods my entire life, i really haven’t thought much of my period being this late.. until a friend mentioned how actually late it has been. come to find out.. i’m panicking. i don’t know what to do. 💔

I am also a (cis) woman if that makes a difference to you all.

At the end of last summer my girlfriend became pregnant and decided upon an abortion. They do not regret that decision at all.

But they are struggling with how to process the pregnancy itself. It was extremely painful for them physically (retroverted uterus) and now if they feel any kind of normal cramping they get immediately triggered and sent back to that horrible horrible time in their mind.

My question is, how do you cope with the horror that is being pregnant? Something unwanted inside your body that is the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? And what can I be doing as a partner to help them through this process?

am currently 18 and i found out am expecting am 4 weeks 6 days and honestly am not ready so can anyone help provide some legit sites i dont wanna get scam

this is on a throwaway account for obvious reasons. i’m 18 years old and i found out im pregnant 4 days ago. im roughly 5-6 weeks and i have the abortion pills otw in the mail through one of those services. my biggest issue is that my bf wants to keep the baby. part of me wants to keep it too but i know im not ready. i’ve only been with him for 6 months and i do truly love him and want him to be the father of my kids just not right now. is it wrong to lie to him and say i miscarried? what would be a good excuse for that? i dont want to break his heart which i know it would and i know that would make him not want to be with me anymore. this is absolutely breaking my heart and i break down everytime i remember im pregnant. i’ve stopped vaping since i found out but i physically cant stop smoking weed. i feel like an awful person already and i know that im going to live with regret for the rest of my life. i feel like im in the worst lose lose situation of my life. any tips or advice would be appreciated.

Hi all. I posted a couple of weeks ago about my unexpected third pregnancy. After a couple of weeks of absolute hell (mental health spiralling, not able to eat or sleep, have sought counselling but only found it semi-useful), I have a SA booked for tomorrow morning.

I have 101 reasons why I don’t want to continue this pregnancy. It will be catastrophic for my mental and physical health. I can almost feel the relief that I will feel tomorrow, and most of me can’t wait for it all to be over.

The only thing that’s stopping me is intrusive thoughts - like picturing this embryo as a child (like my older two children), feeling extremely selfish, and worried if I will feel extreme guilt that will debilitate me on the other side. I keep flip flopping every 5 min which then makes me think I shouldn’t do it - but it’s never changing my mind from not wanting a baby, to wanting a baby - it’s just from not wanting a baby, to trying to avoid grief and guilt.

Any words of support welcome. I know I just need to white knuckle it through tomorrow but I’m absolutely terrified.

I had an SA 2 days ago and all day today ive had chills, body aches and horrible cramping and ibuprofen wont touch it, I attempted to call the office emergency line but No one has gotten back to me yet, I dont know if im overreacting but ive had 2 SA prior and have never experienced anything like this.

I said I have a friend over 18, however they might not be able to come and they said that it would be preferred if they did but we can address that sooner to the time. Anyways, she can’t come and I don’t want them to cancel my appointment so I can arrange for a different time where she can come. Though, I have thought of a solution, Its in birmingham and mum lives near enough to the clinic to pick me up, I can arrange for her to pick me up but she can’t pick me up from the clinic because she doesn’t know and I don’t want to tell her. I will ask her to pick me up from a different location, but I highly doubt they will just take my word for it 😅 though they would if I was a couple months older. I live with my grandma about an hour and a half away and I’ll be getting the train, but my mum is 30 mins away and she has been asking me to meet her in birmingham all week. I can ask her today if tomorrow suits her and just ask her to take me back to hers if I’m not feeling well. my appointment is 8:30am so should be done in the afternoon afternoon after she finishes work at 1:30pm. Ik they want someone to stay with me for 24hrs so that’s fine, I can arrange that there’s no problem. The only problem is them not being able to 100% guarantee that with my mum not being able to come to the clinic. Should it be fine?

I’m a little over 2 weeks post medication abortion and I’m honestly freaking myself out. The first few days were very heavy with clots/cramping like expected, then over the next week it got WAY lighter and turned into mostly dark brown/black old blood and spotting. It seriously seemed almost done.

I started lightly working out again and had sex last weekend and again this weekend because I thought I was basically healed. Since then the bleeding got wetter/redder again and now I’m passing long mucus/stringy tissue-looking pieces mostly when I sit on the toilet or shower. I’m using a few pads through the day now (not soaking one every hour or anything), cramps are there but not unbearable, and I don’t have fever/chills/fainting. The smell actually seems better than when it was the old black blood phase.

I can’t tell if this sounds like normal healing that got irritated again from sex/activity or if it sounds more like retained tissue. Has anyone else had their bleeding almost stop and then flare back up like this?

I can’t go get a check up due to sharing insurance with my family, they can’t know.

I wanted to share my story in case it helps anyone. It's perfectly fine to not be thrilled making this choice. It is hard. At 30 I made a horrible mistake with who I slept with, had no financial stability and my immigration status was also unstable. I chose to have a termination at 6 weeks.

Now 4 years later I am 6 weeks pregnant with a baby I am actually ready to bring into this world, and the experience has been completely different.

You are allowed to feel however you are feeling. My biggest advice is listen to your own heart, don't listen to these weird culty people whose entire personality is giving birth. Pregnancy when you want it can be magical, but is horrible when you don't.

Abortion is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, but I still feel I made the right choice. And It is still okay to grieve afterwards. I am Christian and I personally believe that I made the choice to send my baby's spirit to heaven instead of earth, and that's a difficult choice only a mother can make. A song that really helped me is "Giving you Back" by Robyn. She wrote this about her own abortion and it really resonated with me and how I felt.

Everyone has different beliefs and lack of beliefs and that's okay as long as they don't put them on you.

Without my abortion, I wouldn't be having this beautiful experience right now, I would have never met my amazing husband, be owner of a lovely home, and feel safe and secure in having a pregnancy and a baby on my own terms. A lot can change in 4 years.