u/tos89

Hi all. I posted a couple of weeks ago about my unexpected third pregnancy. After a couple of weeks of absolute hell (mental health spiralling, not able to eat or sleep, have sought counselling but only found it semi-useful), I have a SA booked for tomorrow morning.

I have 101 reasons why I don’t want to continue this pregnancy. It will be catastrophic for my mental and physical health. I can almost feel the relief that I will feel tomorrow, and most of me can’t wait for it all to be over.

The only thing that’s stopping me is intrusive thoughts - like picturing this embryo as a child (like my older two children), feeling extremely selfish, and worried if I will feel extreme guilt that will debilitate me on the other side. I keep flip flopping every 5 min which then makes me think I shouldn’t do it - but it’s never changing my mind from not wanting a baby, to wanting a baby - it’s just from not wanting a baby, to trying to avoid grief and guilt.

Any words of support welcome. I know I just need to white knuckle it through tomorrow but I’m absolutely terrified.

We have two kids, 4 and almost 2. We postponed my husband’s vasectomy as we weren’t in the right headspace to make that final decision yet. So I went on the pill about 2 months ago.

I’ve been feeling nauseated, super tired. Thought it was the new pill. Had a light “period” a few days ago. Still felt crap yesterday so decided to take a pregnancy test - it’s blazingly positive. Prob 6 weeks I believe. I missed 1-2 pills but was certain it wasn’t around the time we had sex.

I do not want a third. I feel like I’ve ruined my family’s lives - financially we can deal with 3, but I’ve always worried about having enough time for each child. I also had medical problems in my last pregnancy and had a huge postpartum haemorrhage requiring surgery. My body still hasn’t recovered from pregnancy and breastfeeding. My marriage has suffered a lot, although my husband is super involved.

I never thought I would consider an abortion myself (despite being pro-choice). The only positive I can think of in keeping the pregnancy is to avoid guilt/regret (I’m a very anxious person, and it’s hard for me not to imagine the embryo as like my other two kids already).

My husband wants to keep it and is excited. He will support me either way, but I know I will break his heart if I abort. I keep trying to tell him that our physical and mental health both matter too. Really struggling right now. Any advice is welcome 😔