Reflecting on my abortion as I approach my 6th week of a wanted pregancy.
I wanted to share my story in case it helps anyone. It's perfectly fine to not be thrilled making this choice. It is hard. At 30 I made a horrible mistake with who I slept with, had no financial stability and my immigration status was also unstable. I chose to have a termination at 6 weeks.
Now 4 years later I am 6 weeks pregnant with a baby I am actually ready to bring into this world, and the experience has been completely different.
You are allowed to feel however you are feeling. My biggest advice is listen to your own heart, don't listen to these weird culty people whose entire personality is giving birth. Pregnancy when you want it can be magical, but is horrible when you don't.
Abortion is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, but I still feel I made the right choice. And It is still okay to grieve afterwards. I am Christian and I personally believe that I made the choice to send my baby's spirit to heaven instead of earth, and that's a difficult choice only a mother can make. A song that really helped me is "Giving you Back" by Robyn. She wrote this about her own abortion and it really resonated with me and how I felt.
Everyone has different beliefs and lack of beliefs and that's okay as long as they don't put them on you.
Without my abortion, I wouldn't be having this beautiful experience right now, I would have never met my amazing husband, be owner of a lovely home, and feel safe and secure in having a pregnancy and a baby on my own terms. A lot can change in 4 years.