u/Main_Dragonfruit_168

I am 5 weeks.

I am 29, married, financially ok. Even thought this is what I wanted so purposefully decided not to use contraception. No real reason to terminate my pregnancy other than the deep fear, dread and regret that came after seeing that positive test. We did not expect it to happen first try. I know that is naive.

There has been no excitement, I have been in severe distress for 7 days, in mental torment. I thought we were ready to start trying, but I was wrong. We are not ready and I have realised I do not want to do this now. Neither does my husband. We made a mistake. My mental health has suffered from this and I think it will suffer more if I were to continue this pregnancy.

I am pro-choice. I am not religious, didn’t have a religious wedding, but the for some reason I am being flooded with fear of making an unforgivable sin and going to a place of eternal torment. To the extent that I am deep diving through religious scriptures and Christian opinions which I have never thought twice about in my life. This is making me seriously conflicted about my decision. I don’t want to take a life. I have contacted my GP multiple times, they have prescribed medication and diazepam. I feel like there is no correct decision here and it’s making me sick.

Please go easy, I am extremely fragile and no one is giving me a harder time than myself at the minute. Has anyone else had these thoughts prior to termination?

I’m struggling so much with decided whether I actually want this or I want the abstract picture of a family.

I am 4 weeks 2 days. Found out 5 days ago, and honestly since then it has been the most difficult time of our lives. We thought we wanted a child, but the reality of it after seeing the positive test hit us in a way that I could have never imagined.

I have been in complete distress, crying constantly for days, jumping frantically between termination and keeping the baby. We are both 29, married and no real reason why we couldn’t do this other than complete fear of life changes.

I have always imagined having kids, but my images are always superficial things like family Christmas, going on holidays, dressing up at Halloween etc. never doing school runs, laundry, or just having another person there relying on you 24/7. This is terrifying me to my core.

I’m exhausted, my brain is trying to make a decision and honestly I feel like I am being ripped apart. Surely it shouldn’t be this difficult? Is this a true sign that I am not ready for this?

Edit : I know I shouldn’t rush into this decision. I am pro-choice but I really don’t take termination lightly and it’s the biggest reason why I have been so distressed with the decision. The longer I leave it the more hesitant I am due to the development. So while I don’t want to rush the decision, for my personal reasons it needs to be sooner rather than later.

Hi all,
This is an update to my previous post.

My husband and I have just found out we are pregnant, very early at 3.5 weeks. We have been married a year and are both 29 yo.

While we were happy if it happened , we really didn’t expect it to in the very first cycle after coming off the pill. When we first found out we were happy and excited with understandable amounts of fear.

The next day we had a bit of a flop, the fear got bigger and the excitement seemed to turn into what have we done? are we ready? Is this what we want?. I had a full on panic attack and a lot of tears.

In the days since things haven’t been good, I have been crying constantly. I feel like this whole thing is just too big for my brain to rationally make any decisions. My husband says he is 50/50 which is not helping. Everytime I ask him how he feels he says he doesn’t know. I can’t even be mad because I feel the exact same way. I can’t help but think that termination is an option and I don’t know if this is a massive red flag that I shouldn’t continue this pregnancy if I’m even thinking that.

Then I think about the future life we dreamed of and it always involves kids and family, I just didn’t expect it so soon. I think we both just thought we would have more time to enjoy married life together carefree. I know this sounds so selfish.

Edit: I completely understand that we are so lucky and fortunate to have conceived so early, having just had endometriosis removed I just didn’t think this would be the case.

Edit 2: spelling mistake

Hi all,

My husband and I have just found out we are pregnant, very early at 3.5 weeks. We have been married a year and are both 29 yo.

We decided to come off contraception but weren’t exactly trying (as in if it happens it’s good but we aren’t tracking ovulation). While we were happy if it happened , we really didn’t expect it to in the very first cycle after coming off the pill.

When we first found out we were so happy, couldn’t believe it , so much excitement and joy with understandable amounts of fear.

The next day we had a bit of a flop, the fear got bigger and the excitement seemed to turn into what have we done? are we ready? Is this what we want?. I had a full on panic attack and a lot of tears.

Neither of us think we are ready for this, but we do want a family and kids. A small part of me thinks that if I could turn back time to a negative pregnancy test I would. But another part of me wants this.

Please tell me I’m not alone in this and I welcome any experiences.

Edit: I completely understand that we are so lucky to have conceived so quickly, having just had endometriosis removed I didn’t think this would be the case.