Even if we can’t be together. I want you to be happy, no matter what that means for me.
Sometimes when I’m feeling alone, I imagine you being happy and doing something fun. That’s enough to make me feel good.
U right now for more than one thing. Just being in your presence would heal me. Send me a thought, and i’ll blow you a kiss.
Knock on my door, I’ll answer. I don’t want to talk about things and re hash anything. I just want to be next to you for a little while. 💛
The more I think about it all the angrier I get at you. Years go by and you just walk away? Because you can’t just suck it up and talk about your feelings? Years of me busting my ass to be the best partner for you, being there for you every second, changing my day and my schedule and my work, trying to hold you up during all your shit.
Not to mention you LIED TO MY FACE for the first fucking however many months of our relationship, literally more times than I can count, and I had to find out on my own, and then I’m in pain trying to move through that shit and forgive you and grow, and after YEARS you have the audacity to tell me I hurt your feelings and you never got over it? Yeah I should’ve dumped your ass back then. I’m sure I never got the truth. Maybe then next one will have an easier time dealing with you. You wasted my time and my love and I sometimes I truly hope you do just feel bad about it all. You need therapy so badly and I cannot believe you just treat other people the way you do.
Im pretty sure I’m starting to develop feelings for you. It would be a terrible idea for us to date. I know none of my friends would approve, and we both know one would hate me forever if we did. I can’t help it though, especially because I know you have feelings for me too. You’re fun, you’re always down to do anything and usually I’m not that kind of person but when you say “let’s just drive around for a couple of hours and see where we get” I say let’s do it. You’re funny, and you’re smart, and you’re an incredible singer. You are genuinely one of the most beautiful women I have ever met and it astounds me that you can’t see that. I know we can’t date and that makes me sad but sometimes you have to choose peace, so I’m sorry but I have to keep this to myself.
sure that you think about me when you… I can feel it every time.
Is it every time I build up the guts to talk to you, to actually figure out what this is, the opportunity never presents itself. It like the universe is saying DONT DO IT!
Avoidance is easy, it’s safe, no one gets hurt, there’s no risks
But then my heart begins to ache, because I don’t know what this is, I don’t even know if it is anything, am I delusional? Have I created something that’s not in my head? is it something worth pursuing? Is it worth the risk? Is it worth creating chaos in my life for? And Its scary to think how much this has impacted me, to the point I am questioning my mentality and sanity, why is it so friggen hard!! It shouldn’t feel like this, it shouldn’t be so damn difficult. But it is and I can’t answer these questions alone.
But If this really is something and you feel it too, why won’t you meet me half way?
I mean I honestly hate when people say the ball is your court or it’s now up to you, I’m not doing that, nor am I asking for some grand gesture. Just small steps, just a breadcrumb, just something so I know I’m not in this alone.
Or do I just keep spiralling in these delusions that there’s something there when there never was?
Why do you keep doing this ?
Get out of my phone
Loose my number
Just forget you ever met me Bro
I am on my knees begging you to walk away
Leave
I am trying to put what life I have left back together and you just won’t let me
I’ll never be yours again
NEVER
You don’t deserve me
And after everything u have done to me , you never will!
I wish u peace and happiness
Just away from me please
You can’t get better stuck trying to control me and gain access to me -
Case closed / access denied
Move on along to ur next victim
I chose my peace !
I’m not reaching out to reopen anything between us, and I don’t expect a response. I’ve moved on with my life too. I just felt like something needed to be said because the way I blocked you that night was unfair, and that silence never really sat right with me. I know we ended on bad terms, and honestly, I don’t think we were ever meant to be. But if I could erase you from my life, I wouldn’t. You changed the way I view love and helped me grow as a person. At first, I was angry and couldn’t get over everything that happened. But over time, I realized that relationship taught me a lot about myself, and without it, I probably wouldn’t be doing some of the things I’m doing today. I know you’re moving forward in your own life now, and I genuinely hope things work out for you. So thank you, and I wish you well.
I’m struggling to pretend that I don’t love you.
I struggle to hide the love in my eyes.
Do you see it?
That warm smile you return to me…
You know, don’t you?
You feel it too.
I’m struggling to pretend that I don’t love you.
I’m struggling to exist around you without hiding just how much you really mean to me.
I want to hold you in my arms, bury you deep in my chest, and kiss you all over. I want to hold your hands, and press my forehead to yours. I want to share everything with you - the good, the bad, the ugly.
I wish you were mine.
It hurts that you aren’t mine.
Be mine?
Please.
I can feel and see that it’s what you want.
I would burn everything down for you. I want you for the rest of my life. I need you, for the rest of my life.
You are simply my everything.
I am struggling to pretend that I do not love you.
Are you struggling, too?
We're gonna fight when we see each other again.
i read something here that i could swear was you. i need to clarify something: i am a person who has experienced breaks with reality. i am constantly in a state of questioning if my perception of events is even real. i think that might be paramount to keep in mind when trying to make sense of my behavior. without hearing it directly from you, i will assume i’m being delusional. i can be paranoid and obsessive, and this situation has hurt me a lot, so i have to err on the side of caution for my own sanity. i mean that very literally. i don’t know how much you pick up on, though i try to be as forthcoming as i can.
i know i can be harsh and mean at times, and i'm sure it's confusing from your perspective. i struggle with anger a lot, not just with this situation. there's a lot more to be said about that, but not here.
and even writing this, i feel ridiculous, because yeah, you’ve given me no indication of your interest other than what i was assuming based on your behavior. and that assumption ended up hurting me a lot last year. of course, there were some other factors involved which made it worse for me personally back then, but i’m cautious of repeating past mistakes.
i need you to know that i forgive you for any and all of it, but i’m also not going to reach out. if and when you’re ready to talk to me, i want you to do that. i want to figure this out together if that’s also what you want. and there's pretty much no world where being just friends wouldn’t hurt me (or make me act insane) at this point, and that’ll be true for a long time. that’s why i need it to come from you.
i’ve made it really clear to you how important you are to me, and how important our friendship has always been long before things got complicated. and i’d love to gush about it, honestly. if that really was you, which i’m cautiously hopeful (for now) that it was, take your time working through things. i’m not going anywhere. i’m sorry if i made you question that.
also, if you need a friend, just to talk, i’m still here for you. just want to make sure you know that. my feelings won’t ever prevent me from being there for you in times of crisis.
i’ll inevitably delete this post in a couple days. i miss you terribly.
you know _____, youre the coolest person ive ever met. youre astonishingly funny and intelligent and honestly impressive to the point that its intimidating. your talent is inspiring and so is the way you think. i dont wanna kiss your ass too much lol but being in your company is the most comfortable i have ever felt and its always fun with you. we met pretty recently but i feel like ive known you for ages. im so happy you exist, thanks for spending time with me. and, you know, i love you and shittttt
I couldn’t take it anymore. If you look at my post history you will see how far deep I’ve gotten myself into this hole.
Don’t worry you didn’t cause it. No you definitely didn’t cause it. You might’ve been the straw that broke the camels back, but that is exactly what I needed.
I’ve been like this for a while. Way before we broke up. I mean, you’ve told me yourself that you always saw some sort of darkness in me. It definitely the reason that caused our breakup.
I called my mom yesterday and I broke down. It’s quite a step for me because I never call my parents and talk to them. This time though was different. I was going to end my pain and I couldn’t stop. I was going to do it. I had to call someone.
We talked about a lot of stuff and it really helped. Honestly she did say things that really hurt me, but she also really helped too. I’m going to try to get better.
My mom drove down and visited me for a day. She helped me get to my therapist and psychiatrist. I’m starting a prescription that I have a lot of hope for. I really hope it works out. Otherwise I don’t know what I’m going to do.
I just wish I could tell you I finally got help. I’m trying for myself now. I mean I could tell you, but I shouldn’t. It will just send me back into that hole. I wish you did feel the same way about me and talked to me, but it’s okay, I understand.
I really hope you’re doing well.
The only real apology is to ask how your ghosting affected me—and then sit down IN PERSON, shut the fuck up about your reasons, and truly listen to the pain you caused. If you can’t do that, then you’re not truly sorry for anything.
It's me, I wish I had a better report for you but life is life. I finally told my mom how I felt about her and it felt good, I don't like being mean or outright try to deeply hurt someone but I have been hurting for so long.
It's pathetic of me but for months now I've just had to stay high when I'm not at work or I'll cry..like now.
I'm so tired all of the time, i just don't sleep well I guess..i don't know really...i let things get messy..but who cares because you aren't coming over again anyway
I'm drained of hope, I'm tired of my dreams, I just want to rest. I'm so tired
Even though I said that we should move on, I hope our paths will one day cross again. I couldn’t stop loving you even when you treated me so badly after the breakup. I tried to view you as the villain in our story but I kept seeing the version of you that tried his best to love me. Of course I never wanted to truly leave but it had to happen so that we can both become better versions of ourselves. I hope you know that I’ll always have love for you and am so grateful that I met you.
I know you might hate me for giving up on us, but you have to understand that the way we were loving each other was unhealthy. I have to put myself first for once because I was losing myself in the relationship. Although our chapter had ended, I have a feeling that our story isn’t over. If we’re meant to be, then we will definitely find each other again.
Thank you for everything, I love you.
Hey please stop pressure on me or making me feel guilty. What I said is true: I still want to talk to you, and I miss you, and i want to be in your arms but I need time. I have a life to build and personal problems I need to deal with right now. I’ve made a lot of efforts these past months and I don’t want to lose all the progress I’ve made.
i’m not trying to replace you or pushing you away. I don’t ask you to wait, that would be of course selfish, if it’s too late it’s too late. I just need you to respect where I’m at right now…
By the way, I deleted my post out of pure reflex/panic mode
You're right. I didn't let you be you. It's my fault for thinking if I loved you enough, or you loved me enough, you wouldn't want to self-destruct. I know, stupid me. I should have known better. For that, I'm sorry.
You made me feel wanted. Needed. Craved. And I wanted and craved you, but not when you were wasted, which was more times than I can count. It wasn't fair for me to want you to change. You were doing that when we got together. You never told me you'd stop. For that, I'm also sorry. You deserve better. So do I.
I still feel a magnetic pull towards you. I wish it would go away, but I think I'm stuck with it for a while. Thanks so much for showing me around. Thanks for the wonderful times. The dancing, the laughs, the love. I wish nothing but the best for you.
I would blow up your phone, I would ring you until you answer, I would show up at your place at 2am again and show you how badly I want you forever and ever and ever. I would. And I can. I wish you knew how badly I loved you. Goodbye.