r/TwiceExceptional

Hi, i am a parent of a highly emotional, kind and smart child, who refuses to make friends outside of his home. His parents (us) are his only friends. I have the following questions -

1. His IQ of 150+ suggests he is twice exceptional ? How is that defined ? What does it mean to be a parent of a child with high IQ?

2. He has anxiety and shoes depressive tendencies, while we try our best to keep the house full of love and laughter, is it common ? Can it be genetic?

3. Given his language reading and writing difficulties, we assumed he might be dyslexic but that was not captured in his learning disability assessment. What are we dealing with then?

4. What are the possible international support ecosystem available for such kids?

5. Are kids with high IQ likely to have a learning disability as well ?

Until now I've been dedicating part of my time to Neurodivergence and ADHD, but I'm planning to focus on 2e for a while. I especially like researching about:

· How metabolic health (keto, electrolytes, gut-brain axis) affects 2e mood, focus, and RSD

· The hidden systemic structures that exhaust us (corporate, legal, family)

· Practical self-defense strategies for burnout, rejection sensitivity, and energy regulation

I would like to know what are your biggest struggles.

I'll research about the topics and share actionable strategies. I will inform content, not therapy. There is no secret agenda. What I find out I will share because it also helps myself.

27(M). Here are my traits, my strengths and challenges. I went through depression and therapy at the age 24. I just know my IQ score, from the test WAIS IV, not any other diagnosis. I consider myself too average to be special and too weird to be normal. I can and cannot relate to a lot of labels/categories and don’t know how to tackle down my life projects nor how to improve my daily life and discipline. Advices, support, comments, answers and questions are what I will avidly read and be expecting. Thank you in advance.

Neurodiversity:

Internalised Adhd (ADD)??

• daydreaming
• shy kid
• raised by women and relating way more often to women, have had more female friends
• endless rush of thoughts/ questions (with the right people)
• unable to get angry
• very patient
• doodled in class
• emotional damage (hyperempathy, hyperemotionality)
• unable to limit myself when left on my own

Giftedness:

• easily got good grades in school until my 15s
• 10 minutes cram periods before exams in high school proved to be enough
• very good memory, especially of emotionally important events (up to 25 years ago)
• analytical thinking and love puzzles, complexity in many topics (philosophy, religion, maths, physics, languages)
• IQ of 140 with discrepancies VCI 141 PRI 140 WMI 117 PSI 120 and each of these subtests were with various results ranging from 11 to 18 in exercices
• gives good advice to people or good at reading them
• unmotivated by success in career or money
• love sarcasm, dark humor, refined jokes and 3rd degree humor

Social challenges:

• difficulty to understand or feel the right timing for jokes, commentaries or no filter on some thoughts???
• had no friends other than my brother and a neighbour until I was 13
• never stuck in groups of friends
• difficulty to be a friend to my friends

Other challenges:

• being on time
• taking notes from a listening class (or powerpoint)
• reviewing class contents, study in a library or at home
• lost interest/hope in many of my childhood dreams
• learn lyrics without reading them multiple times(very hard)
• watch a movie or series I watched 15 years ago
• function without dopamine (girlfriend and friends Number 1 healthy dopamine source, then comes cheap dopamine)
• low self esteem
• organise/plan my week/day
• start activities/tasks, especially if only impacting myself

Side notes:

• I hate hearing to “be a man”
• what is Body Doubling?
• sorry about my imperfect english
• I currently live in Germany and don’t know if I could study a bachelor

This might sound a bit tacky but I really appreciate this community, whenever I have had any questions you were the ones that never failed to give a thoughtful unbiased answer, and for that I wanna say thank you.

It honestly feels like I finally found my crowd, and I don't have to worry about you guys taking basic questions the wrong way, or using cheap ad hominems to socially punish me for a misinterpreted slight when I'm just being curious.

I don't know if it is the intelligence or what not, but you guys seem way more human than many other groups I have met.

I've been reading, and it sounds like the experience of 2e students is incredibly variable.

So, adults that are now out of school, how was it for you? What did you like? What did you hate? What accommodations, support, programs were you offered? How did your parents deal with it? What do you wish you had?

Hello everyone. After not getting much help in r/aspergers i had a "you know you mucked up when even autistics don't know what to do" moment. Then i remembered i have my people here. I'm 2e AuDHD, though that ADHD part is not certain. Different doctors have different ideas, even though I took two adhd tests already. But we're certain on the autism part.

What do you think? Even if you don't have a solution idea i would like to know if you also experience this, and if this is common in our group? Thank you for your time, my people.

Here we go:

Hi. 22F. Do any of you also not understand anything in mathematical classes at school? I'm good at maths when i study it myself, and visualise it in my mind. I can fo anything as long as i see it, and math is often too abstract for me to see anything. What do do you mean a function? What even is a function? There's so real life function examples given to me during class. Then i come home and research, and, for example, see that we can think of functions as programmable machines. You put in an input, it goes through the machine you programmed, and you get an output.

But at school everything is too abstract. I understand nothing. I can't remember most of what i hear anyway. I have auditory processing issues, instead i have photographic memory. But it's gotten to a point where going to school feels like pointless, unnecessary. And it's dangerous because I have to get that degree for my dreams and future plans. I'm a physics major. If it's a "verbal" topic like history, education etc i will remember most of what's been taught, because i memorise the slides and lesson notes. But make it physics / maths and i fail so bad you would question my intelligence.

I know I'm good at maths when it's in my autistic language. And I'm good at physics too, i understand concepts pretty easily when I'm left alone in my natural habitat. I'm also a really good problem solver. Like there's no reason for me to fail this miserably. And yet i do.

There must be other people like me. How do you deal with this? How do you deal with it when everyone's questions your ability on a certain topic even though you know that you would ace it if it was in your conditions? I know we know ourselves really well, us autistics. So I'm kindly asking you, what do i do? What is that one thing you know you can do, you want to do it, yet still fail miserably, and that's it's causing problems?

Like is it even normal to struggle THIS MUCH with verbally taught lessons? I understand nothing, i remember nothing, i can't even focus. I get incredibly bored and start doodling or study on my own at the back of the class during lessons. But this is tiring. It's exhausting and definitely doesn't feel fair.

What do you do? What would you do? I'm recently diagnosed and i feel like a baby discovering everything for the first time. I have no idea what to do. I'm not fluent in autism yet.

Hi everyone. :)

Just found out about the Twice Exceptional community. I'm a writer currently working full-time on my first fantasy book on and off over the past couple of years. The project is very ambitious and while I've made some progress collating all of the complex ideas I want to convey through the book, I've barely written anything.

I did exceptionally well in school as a kid but later went through some difficult experiences that impacted my memory and concentration. I was later told I have severe ADHD and I also struggle with OCD tendencies that create a paralysing pattern of coming up with an overwhelming number of great ideas but an inability to pick one. My perfectionism makes this much worse. I keep looping endlessly and it's very draining.

It's been rough recently and I decided to post here hoping to hear stories of others going through similar experiences who did great in school as kids but started to struggle later in life, especially if it was post challenging experiences or trauma. How common is this?

For those who have recovered the levels of productivity and functionality you had as a kid, what helped you, whether that's medication or other changes?

Feeling alone in this experience has made it much more challenging so I'm looking to change that. If this resonated with you, please chime in and if you'd like to chat further, please DM me.

Thanks and hope you have a great day!

I haven't received a formal diagnosis for 2e, but I feel like I am. I haven't really discussed this subject with anyone in my life because I genuinely feel like it is such a misunderstood concept. I mean, how can you grasp complex subjects that you are immensely interested in but struggle with basic tasks; It's such a fucking paradox. I already know I am neurodivergent because I was diagnosed with ADHD at 5 (I was a WILD kid lol), and I am pretty sure I am autistic as well. Over the past few months, my mental health has been declining more and more. This is because I tend to dwell on EVERY single mistake I make, and I feel like I am capable of so much more. My OWN parents were considering getting me on disability when I turn 18 and I found it shocking that they thought THAT lowly of me; versus LITERALLY just getting me accommodations. I feel like I have an idiot and a genius living inside of me. I can't take it anymore. I'm not asking for help/advice (though it would be GREATLY appreciated), I just want to know if ANYONE relates to this.

PS: Excuse the grammar, it is very late when I am typing this and am close to sobbing.

What if your inability to focus on simple tasks isn't a brain defect, but a high-speed engine physically overheating because it’s being forced to idle? What if when your internal processing speed is far higher than the task in front of you, that unused energy has nowhere to go and reflects back into your nervous system causing brain fog or physical restlessness. If this is true then you don't actually need tasks to be easier, you need them to be complex enough to consume your excess bandwidth. Have you ever noticed that you can suddenly focus on a boring chore only if you add an extra layer of difficulty, like listening to a complex podcast or gamifying the process, and does that extra weight actually make your brain feel more stable?

I hope this is okay to post! I'm looking for insight from 2e adults who can provide some suggestions based on your experience, as to how I can best support my son.

Here's a little backstory:

My 5 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago (normally not diagnosed until age 6, but it was obvious enough to the psychologist). School has been challenging - he only lasted a year and a half at his first preschool (age 2-3.5) due to impulsive/aggressive behavior. That school was a highly unstructured co-op. Second preschool I thought we'd try a smaller class with much more structure, and he only lasted 2 months, due to inattention/defiance and impulsivity/aggression during the minimal amount of play time. Now he's been at his third private preschool for a year and a half, and they only allow him to attend with an ABA shadow present (still, due to impulsivity/aggression). I am planning for him to attend public kindergarten next year, but requested an IEP - today during the meeting, the psychologist presented his IQ and determined that he is 2e. I feel relieved to understand why we have struggled to find the right "fit" for him, and why all the parenting methods I've attempted and courses I've taken regarding ADHD have just not quite landed.

TLDR: What worked for you as kids in a school setting? Does homeschool better suit 2e students? What resources should I look into to support my son's behavior development?

There's a concern that he's prone to depression, which I can see becoming a real potential as he develops, if he continues struggling to connect with peers, as he is very social and wants to be friends with everybody, but most peers just don't quite understand him. 😔

Please help me help my son! 🙏🏼

Hi all, I am brand new here. Like 2 minutes brand new. Anyway, I have been struggling to figure out what's going on with my 1st grader who is definitely high IQ but struggles horribly with basic tasks and behavior especially. He is extremely impulsive and doesn't ever seem to know why. He has an upcoming appointment with our pediatrician as our first step. I would really appreciate any and all advice on how to speak with the Dr, whether we should specifically ask for a "neuropsychologist" or really just how can i make sure i get him the help he needs? What should our next steps look like? What might school look like for him in the future? Thank you

just a consideration, being 2e can be lonely, i almost dont interact with people except parents and boyfriend, if id interact more id be less stable in mood and still lonely because usually im difficult to understand and resonate with, ive got big projects going on in life and no close one to share them with, is it normal for 2e people or is it just my bipolar traits fault, or is it just personality

I have this holy trinity of giftedness, NVLD and trauma. I'm 38 years old now and I've been taken Sertraline for 10 years. Since the summer I've been doing a lot of breathwork and it made a world of difference. To the exent that I decided to try and taper off of the meds. This went well for 5.5 months but the last few weeks have been really hard.

Which made me wonder. I've always considered taking the medication as a form of weakness, since I'm dependent on something external. And I've always considered it something I need to cope with my core wound of not being good enough while at the same time prohibiting me from real healing.

But the last weeks I've also discovered the concept of twice exceptional and I've been thinking that maybe my brain is just wired in such a way that everything is experienced more intensely, that I can very easily see all the worst case scenarios etc. and that medication isn't per se a bad thing to help with that, even despite doing therapy and breathwork etc. Like people who have a heart disease, they eat healthy, they work out, but sometimes they also still need medication to help them.

I'm curious to hear your thoughts since I've not seen antidepressants mentioned in this sub when I searched for it.

I am 40 years old with three 2e kiddos. I am currently on Prozac for what was thought to be lifelong generalized anxiety. But in a twist of events, I was just diagnosed with combine type adhd and a spiky profile in my neuropsych test. I am a 2e adult. Not sure what I’m trying to accomplish here but I am reliving every moment of my life before today. I’ve felt exhausted, dumb, incapable and just plain restless for my entire life. Now I am scared about what’s next since this life is the only one I know.

so, i've been out of school for around 2 years making it logical to consider GED yet my psychologist doesn't do anything when i recommend it saying it's unprofessional. and she doesn't accept any of my past diagnosis(e.g. autism, adhd) just because they were made by psychologists from an undeveloped country. and when i ask to redo them because i really need ADHD accomodations at my education, she doesn't consider my behaviour at past school as evidence saying it isn't professional again. like wtf, adhd diagnosis is literally about behaviour before 12 and you're not accepting evidence from the past? instead, she wants me to go to a new school she give first which i had to accept. like comon, I'm already dead and got called out by teachers for showing depressive symptoms due to traits like boredom being unaccomandated, and she wanna with zero ethics force me to go further getting stressed that way just to provide what i need? what is the problem with using reports from my past school for that? and my boredom isn't solely due to adhd. i already have phd level preprints in foundationalist mathematical physics passing desk review at age 15 which i told her, if you're trained with profoundly gifted people, you will know that's serious clinical evidence needing significant accomodations at school and yet she does nothing about it. she in fact said she will give an iq test only if nesscesary, I'm already facing all the challenges profoundly gifted people face at school and yet she can't confirm whether that's necessary? i call bullshit. yet she claims to be trained with giftedness. Worse, she said accerelation is bad contradicting all the obvious gifted research. if you think she's bad enough, it's worse, she doesn't even have basic education. she doesn't even know how to determine what reliable source is, she said internet sources aren't reliable despite them being government websites when i try to catch her up with latest research. she's trained in the netherland long ago and i met her in myanmar.

Just wondering what your take is on this.

I've suspected for quite a while that I was on the autism spectrum, I definitely have ADHD. Mild OCD possible.

Ive taken many. Many self screening test online lol and all of them Confirm my suspicions.

I'm preparing for a psychoeducational/ASD combined assessment, and I'm curious about it

How did you find out about 2e , did you know before the assessment or was it a surprise hehe

I learned about it last week or so, when looking online for speech excersises. And it was a hallelujah moment

Was i gifted? Looking back , yeah. Absolutely.

Now that I know gifted does not mean Genius or prodigy. I 100% believe i am a Twice-Exceptional adult.

And i want to be assessed with this is mind. Confirm it, or 100% certainty rule it out.

As a 43 year old women who suffered a severe burn out , i have been on medical leave for 1.5 years.

now that my adhd is treated and that I am starting to feel rested, i see that my cognitive skills are not returning, my executive dysfunction is out of control. I get sensory overload easily

But the kicker?

I now have fairly severe , multiple types of dyslexia.

How can i effectively communicate this to my assessor? Without making it look like im " looking for problems" or trying to diagnosed myself with Dr Google?

I know how dyslexia work, i always believed i had a very mild form, more like dyslexic tendencies

Can you guys provide advice, or guidance , on how to better explain myself to my psychologist?.how did you do it, did you mask? I'll probably try, but im always masking anyways.

I need to be taking seriously and heard, even with my "professionalism" Mask on full display .

Context:

I work in Compensation, its a problem

And before my crash , i noticed I kept inverting my variables.

Confusing myself over and over, making many mistakes.

Even with help I couldn't grasp it at all. And I've been there 8 yrs. Its humiliating.

I always had mild dyslexia, i still confused my left and right. I invert sequences. Nothing majorly disruptive.

But now?

, Man I say righty tighty lefty loosy out loud, while turning the screw drivers "righty loosy" ,and cant figure out which way is clockwise, because its technically a circle and if you go far enough it can be seen as counter and clockwise. Im always confusing myself. I cant calculate anymore.

I want to evaluate Dyscalculia, dyslexia, dysgraphia as well as phonetic dyslexia. Im Extremely clumsy, I drop everything, I make messes. Im.full of bruises lol (self assessment confirms high probability)

Same with my mouth, with my cluttering:/ I speak too fast. Ppl do not understand Me. Ive been trying to control it all my life. Only realized last week that its a form of stuttering.

Speech pathology appointment coming up.

im a former gifted kid. I just never knew what gifted meant. I pulled out my old report cards, and yes , there it is

I may have learnt to tone down the ADHD and hid my smarts , but im still very much a nerd today lol

Although I always counted of my fingers, and absolutely need a calculator. I cannot count on the spot and give change, for example. I never could manage to figure out correct variables within a written math lesson, and create my own formula to solve the problem.

But I still managed 98% grade when i graduated.

I was above average up until middle.school, where I got bullied.

My name.was on a honor rolw student banner, mean girls be meaning

Anyways.

Did I really just, fricken memorized life and hacks, instead of actively using my brain?

I feel like a filing cabinet, not gifted hahaha

Sorry for the rant. Im a bit nervous, this assessment is very expensive and i really want it to be official, and start managing and planning ahead.

Im terrified of being dismissed again, forced back.to work, struggle and crash over and over.

Ive been dismissed since my early 20s, a depressed anxious hypocondriac. Ive had a few burns outs in my life. Never like this tho.

Constant work struggles , issues, along with

Perimenopause , a new teenager at home, full time solo parent with no support. It all got to me i think.

I dont think i can go back to who I was and how I was coping

Here I am to gain more insight for my 3 year old son. He’s exceptional… playing music by ear, knowing all his times tables and other math, interested in different languages, reading, science. He’s non conversational so he won’t have a back and forth with you but he is speaking so he will talk math, science, music all day to himself or people he’s comfortable with.

Before getting his ASD diagnosis “everyone develops at their own pace, he’ll catch up, boys develop slower.” Was said to me constantly, I would snap back because I felt like the only one seeing what was so obvious.

Now everyone is like “he’s only three! It’s years away before you have to think about stuff like that! Just let him be” I feel like people aren’t considering how fast he learns, that even putting him in preschool where kids are learning letters could be to his detriment. He will get bored and have a negative relationship with school. I don’t want that, he loves learning so school should be fun!

Homeschooling is his version of playing so we’re constantly home schooling, giving him access to instruments and kindergarten work sheets, he knows the recipes for cooking muffins and cookies lol, everything is a lesson.

I want him to have an academic outlet out side of home that he will enjoy. Yes, at 3. Every child deserves a space where they feel free to be themselves and do what they enjoy.

Do these places exist? For kids this young? I’ve reached out to homeschooling co-ops and they have said he’s too young.