r/Serverlife

ah i just got off work and got my ass absolutely handed to me. anyways how was ur day

Okay maybe everyone knew this except me but hopefully someone finds this helpful. I’ve worked as a server for three years, but recently went from a casual family owned joint to a restaurant that’s a bit more hoity toity. I’m not used to carrying drinks that are full to the brim like martinis. I also tend to slosh coffee out of the cup I don’t know why, I guess because there’s not ice so it sloshes more.

But I was carrying two glasses in one hand then picking up a martini glass in the other and trying to be super careful with it when a coworker came up to me and said “don’t overthink it. Just carry it and walk” then another coworker said “a watched drink always spills. Don’t look at it”

I was hesitant but I took their advice and haven’t spilled anything since. I don’t know how it works but it does

So to preface this, I’m a red head. Normally this would make me stick out, but I worked in a restaurant with my brother and sister who’re also gingers and at the same time worked there, another set of 2 ginger sisters worked there. So at the same time there were 4 ginger girls working at the same restaurant and we all had long hair and were around the same height (5’2-5’5) and there was almost always at least 2 of us working at the same time.

I cannot even count how many times we got mistaken for each other but the funniest was probably the time I was hosting (14 at the time) and my sister (18 at the time) was serving. To be clear, drinking age is 18 here.

So I seat a table and tell them the specials for the night then say “your server will be with you soon” then turn to leave but a man in the group says “no we’re going to order drinks now. Which wine do you recommend” and it’s busy rn okay? I don’t have time for this and it’s literally illegal for me to take alcohol orders. So I explain “sorry sir, I’m the host not your server and I can’t make any recommendations on or serve alcohol since I’m underage” (I always did my best to not tell customers my actual age cause some people are creepy) but dude wasn’t having it and starts going off on how if I work in a restaurant I need to be able to give recommendations on everything and blah blah blah all while somehow trying to flirt with me. Eventually I just give up and say “look I get that you’re frustrated and I’m sorry for that. I’m 14 though and if I take your drink order on anything stronger than a pop, we could lose our liquor license and I could lose my job. All I can tell you is the wine that’s featured tonight but I haven’t tried it or any of our other wines since it would be illegal for restaurant to serve me them. As I said your server will be with you shortly” he started stuttering over himself at this point cause he just realized that the girl he was trying to flirt with is barely a teenager and he’s mad so I walk away.

Idk why I didn’t connect in my head that I sat him in my sisters section but I didn’t. A while later my sister comes up to me VERY confused and says “idk what’s going on with Man at Table. He’s acting like I’m crazy but Idk what I did” then it hit me that we were wearing the exact same outfit cause we shopped together and I did both of our hair the same. We don’t look much alike from the neck up but our bodies are nearly identical and customers, especially men, tend to have us blurred together. And that man had spent more time staring at my chest than my face. He thought my sister was me and that I’d just straight lied to his face.

So I’m like “I know what’s going on, follow me” so I grabbed a couple cookies from the sample tray and put them on a plate and had my sister comes with me to the table. When we get to the table I say “I wanted to apologize about the confusion earlier so I brought some complimentary cookies. I hope my sister here was able to give you some good drink recommendations” the look of pure shock on the man’s face when his eyes actually travelled past my chest and to our faces was priceless. Apparently he was mostly normal the rest of the night

There are 2 guys who started coming in pretty regularly on their lunch break. One of them plays on his phone the whole time, and I have to ask him multiple times for his drink and food order, because he's so focused on his phone, he doesn't pay any attention. Even the other guy will tell him to put the phone down, and tell me he's sorry his friend is rude. Ugh it bugs me

Whether it be from my head injuries or maybe I was just born with it, I have a very bad memory especially when it comes to multitasking. Before you comment "don't be a server", I want to clarify I've worked multiple years as a server at Olive Garden as my first serving job and it was actually manageable! They limit us to 3 table sections which I could handle 95% of the time without any help, and the menu/sides are simple enough with a lot of overlap that I could remember the few important things we needed to know. The only things I struggled with was all of the alcohol bottles we have on hand in the bar for custom drinks and explaining our cocktails. I would try to go back to OG if it paid enough, but most shifts I'd go home with less than $100, maybe $150 on a 10+ hour double. That's survivable but not much more, so I've been reluctant to return. Now I'm looking for advice from other servers who may struggle with similar memory / organization issues but still found success in their restaurants. Are there things to look for in a restaurant before applying to set myself up for success?

As a side note, I'd like to mention that I've transferred from OG to longhorn (All in the past), in hopes of earning just a little bit more while staying with the same parent company, but mentally I couldn't handle having 7-8 table sections with dozens of individual (and customizable!) sides at each table. It was a humiliating experience and made me feel the worst imposter syndrome ever, especially after being told Olive Garden is more difficult to serve at with all the refills.

Help! This will be my first summer working outside in 100+ degree weather and curious what others have worn that it’s great for keeping you cooler. For preface it’s a winery and I can wear whatever I want as long as my armpits are covered for food safety reasons and I’m a woman so shorts and dresses are an option too.

Ever since I started this job, I have this manager, Stacey we'll call her, that has been trying to give me as few hours as possible it seems. When I got out of training, I remember her giving me one shift, a Saturday for two weeks. When I asked her why everyone else has 4-5 shifts and she's giving me one, her excuse was that she just wants to make sure we all make money and her over scheduling would mean less money for everyone and that if I want to pick up shifts I can. I know.. bullshit and makes zero sense.

Let me also mention that she's 21 and she's quite literally the worst manager I think any of us have ever had. She's lazy, she's rude and professional with the worst attitude I've ever seen a manager have. I despise her but to be fair we all kinda do. But she still has her favorites because other people fake it and I guess I don't. I noticed that she gives her bestie there like multiple shifts too.

I brought up the issue with my GM and he assured me he would fix it, talk to her, and would give me more shifts and he did. He told me he likes me working there and that he doesn't want me to leave.

I've been there for 7 months and for awhile things were fine but now we're back to it. For a couple weeks, me and this other server, for some reason, had to alternate who worked a friday or saturday. Nobody else. Whatever, I have another job. But now I'm completely off of weekends and for the next couple schedules, I work a wednesday and sunday and I'm not even available sundays...

I'm angry and I just don't know how to handle this. They're not soft firing me. The GM really likes me. He never looks at the schedule so I know this is her doing and It seems personal. But she never gives me a straight answer and I don't want to keep having the same fucking conversation. I hate that her dumb ass is the one to make the schedule. I have another job but I don't like that I'm the one being specifically fucked with for no reason.

So I got hired as a Twin Peaks Girl earlier this month and I've only gotten thru 5 days of training and my last day of training is coming up this week. Only 5 days of training and yet they want me to memorize our HUMUNGOUS menu like there is so much and I went in for day 4 of training and they said that it's concerning that I don't know majority of the menu by now (mind you this day is the most menu training I've had at this job). It could be my anxious tendency to overthink and be a perfectionist about everything but so far, every girl who has trained me (besides my day 1 trainer) gives off this vibe that they hate me, or they are annoyed of me? It feels like all the girls are in this tight knit group and being around them feels like they are all in on some inside joke that I am not aware of. why is that? They are very tedious about how you greet and serve your tables, like way more than I've experienced, and it feels like a bit much. So much that just quitting is looking very tempting to me. Now this could be me just overreacting because this is all very new and overstimulating to me at the moment. I saw this video of another TPG online talking about how she made it through the "hazing phase" there. Am I getting hazed? I'm not sure if I should tough it out and get passed training or save myself the stress and I just find another job.

I started working for a restaurant on January 5, 2026. Since then, I have received a total of six(6) checks. TWO(2)! of which have bounced, the latter check being almost as much as my first three. Now, you’re probably thinking, “Well, you’re a server, so most of your money comes from the daily grind.” And, sadly, you would be correct. Except for the fact that I’m a mid 20s straight male in a ghetto area working overnights. You cannot begin to understand the problems there. Anyway, I digress and return to the main issue.

Two checks have bounced, one in Mid-February, and the other last week. My managers are ignoring my calls, the guest relations has sent me to voicemail twice, and im without a large chunk of money at the beginning of the month. I apologize if I feel like I’m whining, but I’m genuinely just so mad right now. Please what do I do?

I’m in Missouri if that counts for anything.

Hey. Title kind of speaks for itself. I know most of the time it’s just repetitive serving people that turns them into regulars organically but is there anything “extra” you do that gets people coming back to ask for you by name?

I've noticed people (other men in particular) treat me (41/m) different when I style my hair. Usually I keep a mid-fade and 2in on the top, and ideally styled to a combo-over. Well I had work prior to waiting last week, and didn't style my hair. The past two days I have styled it, and noticed people are less enthusiastic and just seem less friendly when I greet them. Tips are less, and I even got stiffed last night 2x. People aren't as engaging, I can tell older men, in particular, do not care for me at all. Women with men, are rude to me. I've had a few guys give dirty looks to me or the woman, when I engage with them (again, I am professional, and would never flirt with a guest at work)

I'm waiting tables at night in a Chilis, and professional with a very relaxed, friendly, and soft personality. I lift 5x a week and I am jacked, but gym rat is not my personality at all, and I tend to lighten my voice to come off as friendly. I'm not someone who takes myself terribly serious, do not talk about myself often, and try my best to make the experience about the guest.

Maybe I am overthinking it, but I seriously feel like my haircut is giving off douchey vibes. I'm one of the best servers at my restaurant (based on performance scores), it's not like i'm giving bad service or being douchey. Thoughts?​​

Let me preface we’re understaffed and been for some time during slower season.

Now, that things are picking up, it’s been crazy.

So it’s me and another server. Rn, we do the job of a host, taking online orders, run out food and buss tables and etc. It’s a pretty popular restaurant and on our busy nights we do close 100 head counts.

So, now. I have been picking up slack cus my coworker is a dumb ahh. But then, I was like f this bc now the guest experience is suffering and the reputation of the restaurant is suffering.

Basically, my coworker over sits my section so every night I do 10-20 more heads than him.

Today, I said. That’s ur table because I have 10 more heads than you and I’m at my capacity. This dumb ahh made a face and said so, what does that gotta do with me?

You get the gist. He’s slowww. So, what’s the usual cover for one server and how do I approach this without brining the owner into this, yet.

Soooo we close at 10, as posted on our website. Last call to order is 9:30 though. This has upset people in the past, and I realize the discrepancy should maybe be corrected, but I’m not the owner, or one to tell him how to run things.

We went around announcing last call, turned off the open sign. 9:45 rolls around, and in struts Karen. I really tried to give her a chance, but no - Karen.

I have food in my hand that I’m taking to a table. But I’m the shift lead, and none of the newbies want to tell someone no. So I stopped with the food in my hand.

“Hey guys I’m really sorry, but our last call to place an order is 9:30 :(“

“But you’re open until 11????” Attitude rising.

“Ooh sorry, no, could you show me where it says that??”

“ALL you have to do is google yourselves” (I did, we aren’t)

“One moment” *gestures to food in my hand and walks away to deliver it* while she tells me loudly she will be writing a bad review.

“Hey, let me talk to management (who is *right around the corner*) and see what I can do” sometimes he will make an exception to last call for polite people. Even at 9:45.

“Hey boss this lady is really upset, she thought we closed at 11”

Boss asks me where it says that.

“I already asked her and she told me *cue me repeating her EXACT tone* ALL we had to do was google it”

Boss ain’t having it.

I return to the couple “hey guys my boss wants to know where you saw that so we can correct i-“

“Oh NO, I HEARD you mocking me.”

“I’m sorry but you did tell me to goog-“

“NO, no, I’m not talking to you anymore, GET me one of these Macaroons. THIS mango one”

“I will not be serving you, see if someone else will”

And I just sauntered off to the back, because no. You’re not going to cut off my apology to DEMAND something. I’m not a robot. I don’t determine last call. And I even tried to ask management if we could take her.

According to my coworkers, one of them got her macaroons, while she told the other I was a bitch with a smokers cough, who just walked away. Fair. She demanded my name and told other coworker we will be put on TikTok. Oh nooo. So I’m just getting the jump on what actually happened by documenting it here.

I'm about a month in at my first-ever NYC serving job, and none of the staff really talks to me....lmao. There are no other newbies (everyones been there at least 5 months and have years of nyc experience) and all the servers laugh and chat together with the bartender when it's slow and plan hang outs while I just refill water carafes. I strike up conversation individually and try to join the group convos but it's proving useless.

Are they seeing if I make the cut?? Is icing out newbies a thing at more established/competitive restaurants? I've only worked at small family-owned diners or slow places in the suburbs.

I'm not too pressed, we're all there to make money and bounce but I'm curious if this is a normal thing. Thanks!

For a little bit of context, I work in a restaurant that caters towards the alternative folks. Colored hair, piercings, tattoos, rock music, the whole shebang. We’ve got goths, punks, emos, stoners/hippies— you name it, they work there.

I was hired almost a year ago, and I showed up to my interview with a full face of piercings, goth makeup and weird hair since I was already quite familiar with the vibe that was allowed (for decades, by the way) before corporate decided to hire people who would millennial-ify every single inch of the company’s identity. My manager regretfully informed me this evening that they are wanting us to look like normal people. No modified shirts, covered up tattoos, no piercings, no strange hair or makeup— despite all of us being hired looking the way that we do. None of my coworkers or managers are happy about the change, since they all agree that’s what gives the business character and draws in customers.

They have changed so much within the last couple of years to the point where the business itself is staring to dwindle in profits. It unfortunately isn’t just our location. Our customer base comes to us because of the fact that we differ from the norm. We’ve always been the “cool” restaurant, the spot where the weird kids who don’t fit in can come and feel normal for a while and enjoy some kickass food.

Our appearance has no relation to how well we do our jobs, and we all do them very well. I’m just extremely upset about this whole situation, as is everyone else, and I’m not quite sure what to do about it. I love my job too much to quit. It’s like my little home away from home, and I’d genuinely feel lost without it. I’ve been alternative for as long as I can remember, it’s been my identity since I was a child and I have no plans to change.

I understand some people in the comments will see this post say that it’s not that big of a deal, but when it comes to a restaurant chain that has catered to a specific type of people since the 70’s, it seriously is that big of a deal. I’ll never understand new corporate hires immediately trying to change a business model that has been proven several times to work and acting like they did something good for the company when they’re doing wayyyy more harm than good.