r/PickUpArtist

Hi guys, I want you to help me with a specific situation in daygame.

I'm struggling nowdays at malls because I'm practicing natural Verbal game and it includes storytelling,talk about your passion and their jobs and lives.

But these things works great but at malls i have seen it didn't work at all and I'm struggling to what to talk about and when to close malls because everyone including girls are in hurry at malls and don't have much time and people do fast approaches.

So all the mall pros gather around here and help me 😎

Hi team, as I get back into the dating world, I’ve been thinking about ways to better convey intent and escalate naturally on dates. I had the idea of putting together a list of simple lines that can be effective during interactions on dates.

This is meant to be a collaborative post, so I’d love for people to contribute and help build something more comprehensive.

Disclaimer: not all of these are original. Some were inspired by game/dating content I’ve come across online.

Lines I’ve been using:

• “Okay, imagine we were in [her country/city] — where would you take me?”

• “I have the impression you’re going to be one of the most unique people I’ve met in a while.”

• “You have a very expressive face.”

• “Do you have any idea how adorable those little expressions are that you make after finishing your sentences?”

• “You have a cute laugh/smile.”

• “You’re adorable, but the way you look at me sometimes feels like you already know something I don’t.”

• “You’re very cute, but I’m half convinced you’re a bad influence.”

• “I had absolutely no idea what to expect from you… but so far, you’re doing alright ”

• Fake breakup

Say she mentions something you can “disagree” with, for example: “Oh… you don’t like cats?”

Then act dramatically serious:

“It was really nice meeting you, but I think you should go now. It’s not you, it’s me. I want you to know that I still think you’re a wonderful person… but maybe it’s time for us to let each other go”

• Playful qualification

Say she mentions a few traits that can be framed positively (e.g. she’s into art and loves music).

You can say:

“Right… so you’re artsy and a music lover. Okay, what is that I'm gonna hate about you down the line so we can get it out of the way early and I can start liking you”

Any feedback is welcome. Please feel free to share your own lines so we can build something genuinely useful for the community.

FIRST, I know cold approaching women is very polarized on the internet.

And the reason is that most women have had very bad experiences when they were cold approached by men.

And it is really sad to me, because I always think women and men are allies, not enemies.

I really like talking to women. Sometimes I don't even ask for contact information — I just chill, talk, and enjoy the moment.

SECOND, you don't need to learn cold approach to get a girlfriend!

The learning curve for cold approach is really steep. You need to practice for a very long time to get results.

So, if your goal is to get a girlfriend, unless your social skills are already very strong, investing more time into expanding your existing social circle will definitely give you a better return on investment.

THIRD, here are some of my mindsets and philosophies about cold approach.

1. Women don't have an obligation to respond positively to you. Basically, you two have zero relationship — you're complete strangers. People might be in a bad mood or just not want to talk. Don't take a bad response personally.
2. Always provide value, not ask for value. I'm really good at adjusting my emotions, so when I approach women, I'm already in a very happy state. I just want to share my positive energy with other people, and that makes me even happier.
3. Getting contact information isn't the goal — living in the present is the goal. If you're too focused on getting contact information, people will feel pressured, which really hurts the vibe and the conversation. Just chill and be real. Sometimes I'm nervous when talking to a woman, and I just say I'm nervous. Actually, that makes you seem more genuine, and when I say it, my nervousness disappears.

First of all, I’d like to thank everyone who helped me with my approach anxiety. There were a lot of genuinely helpful comments on my last post, and I really appreciated the support.

Last evening, I finally made a move and did my second approach since becoming single again — and this one actually went really well. I had a nice interaction with a cute girl and managed to get the number close.

So for anyone interested, here’s how the interaction went.

I had been wandering around the city centre for about 40 minutes. I’d seen a few girls I thought were cute and wanted to approach, but I kept hesitating. Eventually I started getting that feeling of, “Damn, I’m going to go home again without approaching anyone,” and I knew I’d feel bad about it later.

Then I saw this cute girl walking on the opposite side of the street. I crossed over, matched her walking pace, got beside her, and opened.

Me: “Excuse me.”

She stopped walking and looked at me with a completely neutral expression.

Me: “Hi. I have absolutely no business talking to you, but I wanted to come say hi because you’re quite cute.”

After I finished the sentence, she held the neutral face for another second… then suddenly gave me a very warm smile.

Her: “Thank you.”

Me: “My name is *****.”

I extended my hand and she shook it.

Her: “Sorry, what was your name again?”

Me: “*****.”

Her: “I’m *****.”

Me: “Nice to meet you. You have a bit of a vibe… are you from [region]?”

Her: “Yes.”

Me: “Where from?”

She told me the country, and then I hit her with “How are you?” in her language.

She replied in her language too, and I immediately admitted:

Me: “Haha, I actually don’t know anything beyond ‘How are you?’”

She laughed and asked where I was from.

I told her I was from a very small town she probably never heard of. Then I asked what she was up to.

She paused for a second and said:

Her: “Nothing, I’m just going back home.”

Me: “Are you walking this way?”

Her: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay, let’s walk then.”

So we started walking together.

At this point the conversation became way more natural. I asked what she did, what she was passionate about, how long she’d been in NZ, etc. She told me she studied ecology and was planning to visit her parents next month.

One thing I noticed was that once she smiled after my opener, almost all my anxiety disappeared. Before that smile my brain felt overloaded. After the smile, I relaxed and suddenly I could think clearly, speak naturally, and actually lead the interaction.

At one point we reached a bus stop and she stopped walking.

Me: “Are you catching a bus?”

Her: “Yeah, but it’s only coming in 6 minutes.”

Honestly, that made me feel great because I took it as a sign she wanted to keep talking instead of ending the interaction immediately.

So we kept chatting.

Then a fire truck went past with sirens blasting loudly and interrupted me mid-sentence. Once it passed I said:

Me: “They’re so noisy… and you know what’s funny? It’s probably all just for a cat stuck in a tree.”

She laughed.

A little later I said:

Me: “You’re actually quite interesting. I think I’d like to take you out for a drink sometime. Do you like bubble tea?”

Her: “Sorry, I don’t know what that is.”

Me: “You don’t know what bubble tea is?”

Her: “Ohhh wait, yes I do. I like it.”

Me: “Perfect. Let’s go for bubble tea sometime. We can exchange numbers now and sort out a day later.”

Her: “Okay.”

I pulled out my phone… and because I was nervous, I completely forgot her name.

Then I remembered a Todd V tip and recovered with:

Me: “Wait, how do I spell your name?”

She spelled it.

Then I asked:

Me: “Do you still remember my name?”

Her: “Hmm… no.”

Me: “It’s alright, I won’t bully you for that. I might bully you for other things though.”

She smiled again.

After getting the number, I remembered another thing Todd V talks about — that even after a successful number close, there’s still a risk of flaking, so it’s good to stay a bit longer and keep the interaction warm instead of instantly leaving.

So I stayed and kept chatting for another few minutes.

At one point I asked:

Me: “So in your family… are you the troublemaker or is your sibling the troublemaker?”

Her: “Actually it’s me.”

Me: “Oh god… what am I getting myself into?”

She laughed.

Then her bus was arriving, so I wrapped it up.

Me: “Alright, your bus is about to come. I should get going too, but it was really nice talking to you. I’ll text you later. Enjoy your bus ride.”

And that was it.

Later that evening I texted her my name, she replied positively, and now we’re planning a date.

Biggest takeaway from this interaction: the hardest part by far was the few seconds before opening. Once I pushed through that initial fear and she reacted warmly, everything became much easier and more natural.

Anyway, I hope this helps anyone else dealing with approach anxiety.

And if anyone has constructive feedback, feel free to bring it on.

Peace out.

I'm having a hard time deciding on whether I should move to New york city or Los Angeles to find a Hispanic girlfriend. I am a hispanic man myself and have no desire to date any NON-hipsniacs. I have come to the conclusion I am only attracted to hispanic women and it fees like waste of time to even bother trying to to date a NON- hispanic woman.

I don't ever use dating apps (very toxic) or go to bars (I don't drink), I prefer the old fashioned cold approach during the day time.

I'm having a difficult time deciding between LA or NY.

Los Angeles Positives: It technically has more Hispanics than NYC.

Los Angeles Cons: I've heard Los Angeles is very spread out and its basically a car city, which is not very walkable. For cold approach walkability is most important to be exposed to foot traffic, running into women throughout the day. So because its so spread out, you might not run into women as much as you would like compared to NYC.

New York City Positives: It's a gigantic city which is very walkable, you will not run out of options here. Plenty of foot traffic. I've heard if you go to certain parts of NYC like the bronx, there are many hispanic women walking around there.

New York City Cons: Technically LA has more hispanics than NYC as a whole.

So what city should I move too? LA or NY?

I've tried various casual apps over the years but lately I've noticed a number of issues:

1: Bot infestation

Constantly having to delete fake messages and likes from bots

2: OF / girls after money

Incredibly one girl even mentioned invoicing me before a date lol (I couldn't believe it)

3: Top looking girls absolutely HAMMERED with messages so average dudes don't get a look in

4: Insane competition and virtually all likes and attention goes to Chad.

5: General profile invisibility (especially on Tinder and the most well known apps).

Has anyone found anything that works?

PS Yes I know your age and look matter, I am 34, in good shape, 184cm and White.

Hey guys , I’m really confused about a girl I’ve been seeing, and I want an outside perspective.

We went on 3 dates.

On the dates themselves, things felt good. We laughed a lot, joked around, held hands, hugged, and on the third date we kissed. The kiss was good and I liked it. When I’m with her, I often feel warm, calm, and physically drawn to her. For example, during one of our dates at the cinema, I really wanted to sit close to her, hold her, and just be near her. I also miss hugging her.

But the problem is: outside of the dates, I become extremely doubtful.

I don’t feel that “crazy in love” feeling. I don’t feel obsessed, I don’t feel like “this is definitely my future wife,” and I don’t have that intense rush where I can’t stop thinking about her in a passionate way. Instead, it feels calmer. I like her, I’m attracted to her, and I enjoy being with her, but I’m not overwhelmed by strong certainty.

Part of me feels like maybe what I’m experiencing is mostly physical attraction and emotional warmth. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just attached to the hugs, the kiss, and the feeling of closeness. I also question whether I’m actually deeply into her, or if I’m more afraid of losing her and what we had. Another fear I have is that if I keep seeing her, I’ll get even more attached, and then it will be much harder to walk away later if I realize she’s not right for me. It happened with me before. I had really hard time to break with my ex, there was so much drama.

At the same time, another part of me thinks that if I truly didn’t like her, I wouldn’t miss her, want to see her, or want to hold her. I do enjoy her personality and her sense of humor, and I genuinely feel good when I’m around her. Because of that, I keep thinking that maybe not every real connection has to start with insane passion or that overwhelming “crazy in love” feeling.

There are also a few things that make me hesitate. She can seem a bit serious or not very smiley with other people, and sometimes she makes sexual jokes that make me question if she had many sexual partners.

So my main question is: should I keep dating this girl, or is the lack of strong desire already a sign that I should stop? I already haven’t texted her for a week , and she probably wonder I didn’t I set up another date already. I feel like I need to decide, it bothers me for a week already.

I am 31 , she is 27

I've been going out 3 times a week for 4 months now and I average 27 approaches a night. In this 4 month span I've pulled twice and have a few makeouts a month my goal is to get to the point where I can pull at least once every 2 weeks consistently.

I went to the club alone last weekend. Was dancing in the main area, and a group of three girls and one guy come near me. One of the girls is dancing like crazy, and positions herself right in front of me, with her back to me. She's so close that as she dances, she's constantly rubbing against me. She's throwing her hair from side to side, it's slapping in my face. I've read that women never touch you by accident, so I decided to introduce myself. She stops dancing briefly, long enough for me to lean down to her and say in her ear, "Hi, I'm <my name>." She completely ignores me, staring straight ahead, still not dancing. I shrug and move to a different part of the dance floor. What should I have done instead?

I know about pua and seduction since some 12 years ago, studied some things but i didn`t practice much, now, i`m still in the same place, 34 year old, i never had unpaid sex my life and i only had sex twice with escorts. Last time i had sex was two years ago.. I have no words to describe how much i`m worried with the future, i wish i could be a father but how if i can`t get even get a date? i tried tinder lots of times, the few girls which start talking with me they ghost me after a while. Also im not a ugly guy, i do suffer with balding unfortunately. But i got compliments from women before. Also, i don`t know where to start, despite that, im not looking for a date coach. I was looking if i could find some old RSD videos because i remember how powerfull that stuff was, but i just saw some videos years ago on youtube. Don't know if mystery method still works, because is some 2001 stuff. What kinds of approach is working nowadays? Which kind of material would you recommend me, where to start.

Hi all.

So I have recently became single and now am back to the game, the problem is that I am having a badass approach anxiety blocking me from approaching girls on the streets.

I have done cold approaches before getting into my last relationship and had fair success overall.

The problem is that now I find myself going out on the streets planning to approach girls that I find cute, but most times end up coming back home without approaching anyone, which is so frustrating.

I am a believer that most things in life are about mindset and if you're in the right mindset you can do anything you want, so wondering if anyone would have some wise words to put me in the right direction.

Appreciate everyone, cheers.

Separated.

Is there any advice on how to be pick-up successful as a mid 30’s male shooting for the 50-60’s bracket?

Do women in their 60’s even think about sex?

Every woman is different? But are there any common traits among the older age bracket that would make me more successful at casual sex?

I'm 21 years of age. I'm from India.When I was a child I used to study in a mixed gender school from nursery to 6th grade. In those years if a boy did something wrong like talking to his peers while teacher taking class, doing something else other than attending to teacher's word.One of the punishments the teacher gave to the boy student was to sit beside a girl to feel humiliated as the girls were disgusting creatures. That punishment planted the seeds of misogyny within my mind. I started to conceive them as abhorring creatures.They became untouchables to me like there were certain castes in India,Korean peninsula, China, Japan that people from upper castes hated to touch in history.Then, the Indian society that abhors the thing if a boy talks with a girl. That too affected my mindset towards opposite gender. My own mother who's mentally unstable, she always quarrel with my father and curses my uncles, aunties and their children. She always used to moral police everyone who was engaged in premarital relationship. She once told me women are the root of all evil. And to support her claim she cited the example two epics which were Ramayana and Mahabharata. She told me that in both of those epics a woman caused millions of men to butcher each other in the battlefield. When I past the 6th grade, I was admitted to a boys' school. From 7th to 12th grade I never talked with a girl throughout those years.In those years, it was always perpetuated in school that females will destroy your career which just enfored my misogynistic beliefs that women are your enemy. When I entered college, I started to feel infatuation and desire to talk to women then I realized I don't know how to talk to the opposite gender. The professor used to give two advices in terms of relationship.

1. Don't date before you build your career because building your career is like meditation. If you date, you can't meditate. My opinion is working on your career is great. But even after having your career built, you still have to continue and grow in your career which is more difficult meditation than the previous one. By that logic you shouldn't even date after you build your career.

2. If you build your career then women will just flock to you. My opinion on this advice is that it's true but in a specific context when the person is already good and confident about communicating with women but isn't working on his career, then it makes sense. But the problem is when this advice is directed to someone who doesn't know how to communicate with a woman, let alone having a romantic conversation with her.And 99.999% of time this advice is given to those boys and young men who are autistic around women. The advice becomes like this I can't interact with a woman but if I build a career then women will just flock to me. If it were true then business and job workers don't have to get into arranged marriages. In India 90 to 93% marriages are arranged marriages and an unemployed man can't go into an arranged marriage.Then that means all arranged marriages are done by employed men. Arranged marriage which is dependency on your parents and relatives to meet you with a woman for marriage. It's like buying a product from market. This advice is like if you build a career then as a law of nature you will be rewarded women such as if I win that race I will be rewarded women. Does reality work like that? One still has to communicate with a woman.

Now my problem is if I see a woman I can't approach her. If I approach her, I can't utter a word before her. If I somehow utter some words, I freeze up and can't converse with her anymore. If by magic I do have a conversation, she leaves the conversation by becoming uninterested as I don't exist. And the college professor pushing people like us into forced celibacy, these professors are posting photos with their wives. I have visited two different psychiatrists and they just gave me pills- medicine to just fall asleep. It did nothing for me. If this continues I will either end up in a mental hospital getting electric shocks or I have to leave my country and go to Afghanistan where women are publicly invisible. Please🙏 help.

It’s the easiest way to pick up women. Having a job as a bartender or a club bouncer, dj, becoming a club owner, Latin dance professional, hell even going into being a photographer for models. I get some of these are back-breaking, ass-busting jobs that don’t pay as well as a cushy programmer or engineering job (although a lot of bartenders make a killing), but it really is the easiest way to meet a lot of women, easiest way to get a lot of numbers, easiest way to get laid, etc. I’m guessing it’s “too easy” so instead they tell guys to go and approach random women walking on the street or in shopping malls and put too much of a focus on technical things when those things kind of already fall into place when you have the jobs above. If I could go back in time I definitely would have gone this route.