u/Evening-Fruit3396

I'm 21 years of age. I'm from India.When I was a child I used to study in a mixed gender school from nursery to 6th grade. In those years if a boy did something wrong like talking to his peers while teacher taking class, doing something else other than attending to teacher's word.One of the punishments the teacher gave to the boy student was to sit beside a girl to feel humiliated as the girls were disgusting creatures. That punishment planted the seeds of misogyny within my mind. I started to conceive them as abhorring creatures.They became untouchables to me like there were certain castes in India,Korean peninsula, China, Japan that people from upper castes hated to touch in history.Then, the Indian society that abhors the thing if a boy talks with a girl. That too affected my mindset towards opposite gender. My own mother who's mentally unstable, she always quarrel with my father and curses my uncles, aunties and their children. She always used to moral police everyone who was engaged in premarital relationship. She once told me women are the root of all evil. And to support her claim she cited the example two epics which were Ramayana and Mahabharata. She told me that in both of those epics a woman caused millions of men to butcher each other in the battlefield. When I past the 6th grade, I was admitted to a boys' school. From 7th to 12th grade I never talked with a girl throughout those years.In those years, it was always perpetuated in school that females will destroy your career which just enfored my misogynistic beliefs that women are your enemy. When I entered college, I started to feel infatuation and desire to talk to women then I realized I don't know how to talk to the opposite gender. The professor used to give two advices in terms of relationship.

1. Don't date before you build your career because building your career is like meditation. If you date, you can't meditate. My opinion is working on your career is great. But even after having your career built, you still have to continue and grow in your career which is more difficult meditation than the previous one. By that logic you shouldn't even date after you build your career.

2. If you build your career then women will just flock to you. My opinion on this advice is that it's true but in a specific context when the person is already good and confident about communicating with women but isn't working on his career, then it makes sense. But the problem is when this advice is directed to someone who doesn't know how to communicate with a woman, let alone having a romantic conversation with her.And 99.999% of time this advice is given to those boys and young men who are autistic around women. The advice becomes like this I can't interact with a woman but if I build a career then women will just flock to me. If it were true then business and job workers don't have to get into arranged marriages. In India 90 to 93% marriages are arranged marriages and an unemployed man can't go into an arranged marriage.Then that means all arranged marriages are done by employed men. Arranged marriage which is dependency on your parents and relatives to meet you with a woman for marriage. It's like buying a product from market. This advice is like if you build a career then as a law of nature you will be rewarded women such as if I win that race I will be rewarded women. Does reality work like that? One still has to communicate with a woman.

Now my problem is if I see a woman I can't approach her. If I approach her, I can't utter a word before her. If I somehow utter some words, I freeze up and can't converse with her anymore. If by magic I do have a conversation, she leaves the conversation by becoming uninterested as I don't exist. And the college professor pushing people like us into forced celibacy, these professors are posting photos with their wives. I have visited two different psychiatrists and they just gave me pills- medicine to just fall asleep. It did nothing for me. If this continues I will either end up in a mental hospital getting electric shocks or I have to leave my country and go to Afghanistan where women are publicly invisible. Please🙏 help.

I'm 21 years of age. I'm from India.When I was a child I used to study in a mixed gender school from nursery to 6th grade. In those years if a boy did something wrong like talking to his peers while teacher taking class, doing something else other than attending to teacher's word.One of the punishments the teacher gave to the boy student was to sit beside a girl to feel humiliated as the girls were disgusting creatures. That punishment planted the seeds of misogyny within my mind. I started to conceive them as abhorring creatures.They became untouchables to me like there were certain castes in India,Korean peninsula, China, Japan that people from upper castes hated to touch in history.Then, the Indian society that abhors the thing if a boy talks with a girl. That too affected my mindset towards opposite gender. My own mother who's mentally unstable, she always quarrel with my father and curses my uncles, aunties and their children. She always used to moral police everyone who was engaged in premarital relationship. She once told me women are the root of all evil. And to support her claim she cited the example two epics which were Ramayana and Mahabharata. She told me that in both of those epics a woman caused millions of men to butcher each other in the battlefield. When I past the 6th grade, I was admitted to a boys' school. From 7th to 12th grade I never talked with a girl throughout those years.In those years, it was always perpetuated in school that females will destroy your career which just enfored my misogynistic beliefs that women are your enemy. When I entered college, I started to feel infatuation and desire to talk to women then I realized I don't know how to talk to the opposite gender. The professor used to give two advices in terms of relationship.

1. Don't date before you build your career because building your career is like meditation. If you date, you can't meditate. My opinion is working on your career is great. But even after having your career built, you still have to continue and grow in your career which is more difficult meditation than the previous one. By that logic you shouldn't even date after you build your career.

2. If you build your career then women will just flock to you. My opinion on this advice is that it's true but in a specific context when the person is already good and confident about communicating with women but isn't working on his career, then it makes sense. But the problem is when this advice is directed to someone who doesn't know how to communicate with a woman, let alone having a romantic conversation with her.And 99.999% of time this advice is given to those boys and young men who are autistic around women. The advice becomes like this I can't interact with a woman but if I build a career then women will just flock to me. If it were true then business and job workers don't have to get into arranged marriages. In India 90 to 93% marriages are arranged marriages and an unemployed man can't go into an arranged marriage.Then that means all arranged marriages are done by employed men. Arranged marriage which is dependency on your parents and relatives to meet you with a woman for marriage. It's like buying a product from market. This advice is like if you build a career then as a law of nature you will be rewarded women such as if I win that race I will be rewarded women. Does reality work like that? One still has to communicate with a woman.

Now my problem is if I see a woman I can't approach her. If I approach her, I can't utter a word before her. If I somehow utter some words, I freeze up and can't converse with her anymore. If by magic I do have a conversation, she leaves the conversation by becoming uninterested as I don't exist. And the college professor pushing people like us into forced celibacy, these professors are posting photos with their wives. I have visited two different psychiatrists and they just gave me pills- medicine to just fall asleep. It did nothing for me. If this continues I will either end up in a mental hospital getting electric shocks or I have to leave my country and go to Afghanistan where women are publicly invisible. Please🙏 help.

I'm 21 years of age. I'm from India.When I was a child I used to study in a mixed gender school from nursery to 6th grade. In those years if a boy did something wrong like talking to his peers while teacher taking class, doing something else other than attending to teacher's word.One of the punishments the teacher gave to the boy student was to sit beside a girl to feel humiliated as the girls were disgusting creatures. That punishment planted the seeds of misogyny within my mind. I started to conceive them as abhorring creatures.They became untouchables to me like there were certain castes in India,Korean peninsula, China, Japan that people from upper castes hated to touch in history.Then, the Indian society that abhors the thing if a boy talks with a girl. That too affected my mindset towards opposite gender. My own mother who's mentally unstable, she always quarrel with my father and curses my uncles, aunties and their children. She always used to moral police everyone who was engaged in premarital relationship. She once told me women are the root of all evil. And to support her claim she cited the example two epics which were Ramayana and Mahabharata. She told me that in both of those epics a woman caused millions of men to butcher each other in the battlefield. When I past the 6th grade, I was admitted to a boys' school. From 7th to 12th grade I never talked with a girl throughout those years.In those years, it was always perpetuated in school that females will destroy your career which just enfored my misogynistic beliefs that women are your enemy. When I entered college, I started to feel infatuation and desire to talk to women then I realized I don't know how to talk to the opposite gender. The professor used to give two advices in terms of relationship.

1. Don't date before you build your career because building your career is like meditation. If you date, you can't meditate. My opinion is working on your career is great. But even after having your career built, you still have to continue and grow in your career which is more difficult meditation than the previous one. By that logic you shouldn't even date after you build your career.

2. If you build your career then women will just flock to you. My opinion on this advice is that it's true but in a specific context when the person is already good and confident about communicating with women but isn't working on his career, then it makes sense. But the problem is when this advice is directed to someone who doesn't know how to communicate with a woman, let alone having a romantic conversation with her.And 99.999% of time this advice is given to those boys and young men who are autistic around women. The advice becomes like this I can't interact with a woman but if I build a career then women will just flock to me. If it were true then business and job workers don't have to get into arranged marriages. In India 90 to 93% marriages are arranged marriages and an unemployed man can't go into an arranged marriage.Then that means all arranged marriages are done by employed men. Arranged marriage which is dependency on your parents and relatives to meet you with a woman for marriage. It's like buying a product from market. This advice is like if you build a career then as a law of nature you will be rewarded women such as if I win that race I will be rewarded women. Does reality work like that? One still has to communicate with a woman.

Now my problem is if I see a woman I can't approach her. If I approach her, I can't utter a word before her. If I somehow utter some words, I freeze up and can't converse with her anymore. If by magic I do have a conversation, she leaves the conversation by becoming uninterested as I don't exist. And the college professor pushing people like us into forced celibacy, these professors are posting photos with their wives. I have visited two different psychiatrists and they just gave me pills- medicine to just fall asleep. It did nothing for me. If this continues I will either end up in a mental hospital getting electric shocks or I have to leave my country and go to the Taliban ruled Afghanistan where women are publicly invisible. Please🙏 help.