r/OnlineDating

Man in his early 30s here. Most of my first dates have been pretty good and left me with options to see them again for a second date. This one recent first date told me straight up 30-45 minutes in that I'm not flirting and I ask too many questions about her. I personally need time to get to know someone before starting being flirty or creating tension. I didn't know her personality at all...especially since she was very keen to meet up and didn't wanna talk too much on the apps. The whole thing felt very weird and she put a lot of pressure on me on the date to create that romantic atmosphere right from the get go. First dates for me are just a vibe check and to get to know them as people. Women, what are your first date expectations?

I’ve been talking to this guy long-distance for over a month, we haven't even met yet. It was super intense, daily talking, and very sexual. Suddenly, he stopped opening my texts for 3 days (sitting on delivered), which is not very normal for him. I was so worried, I thought he had died, or somebody in the family was injured.

Today, I finally posted a story. He viewed it and replied within 5 minutes saying he "was sick." Honestly, I was so frustrated that he could browse IG but not open my chat, so I snapped. I told him if he texted me again, I’d block him.

Now I’m overthinking. We still follow each other, but I’m wondering if I was too harsh or if my reaction was justified because he was clearly "ghosting" until he saw me active. Did I do something wrong by shutting it down that fast?

Bit of a silly question, I know, because they are all businesses. But I capitalised the 'really' because all the "free" ones don't deliver on that. I'm wondering whether this unicorn of a site/app exists. Not really keen on having to pay £10 a day just for a conversation with someone after the first message.

I went on a date with someone I met on a dating app. The date was fine I guess. We. Laughed and joked and everything seemed pretty normal when we were together.

Something stayed with me after we said goodbye. The date had been going well. Then her energy changed a bit at the end. The date was fun. When we parted ways she seemed less interested in me than she was before. She was not being mean or anything she just seemed different.

I do not know if I am thinking about this much or not. The date was good. This one thing is bothering me. I keep thinking about how she seemed at the end of the date.

That is why I have not contacted her yet. I want to know if I should still get in touch with her or not. Would you still talk to someone after a date like this. Would you take it as a sign that you should leave the person you met on the dating app alone? I am talking about the person I met on the dating app and I am wondering what you would do in my situation, with the person I met on the dating app.

Both on hinge and on bumble- the men send 1 opening message, I reply (usually something witty with an opening) and then they just disappear. This is so confusing and tiring- like, why match and send a message in the first place? This low key makes me want to give up on the apps.

Hey so I kinda noticed a pattern I guess. Every guy seems to be really interested in casual relationships. Maybe it is because I took a break from dating for a few months. Or maybe because of how old I am. But it just seems weird. Idk are other people seeing this online?

So I've been texting this guy and he takes a long time to text back to me. I understand that he's working and is busy throughout the day, but like during lunch or his free time in between work, he still doesn't text me back in those moments. It only takes seconds to send a text so it's not that time consuming.

Does this mean he's not that interested in me?

I am a thin white pale straight male nerd who has never had a date before and don't think I ever could get a date. Ive tried bumble and hinge but never got so much as a like....maybe I am just using the wrong site/app for people like me anyone have any suggestions?

I've met up 4 times with someone I met on an App. we had sex on the 4th time hanging out. We've never been huge into chatting on Whatsapp but lately it feels even less.

We had sex the last time we saw each other, ive tried to initiate plans which he said he couldn't make. I definitely feel like communication should get better and intest should get stronger after sex but I feel like it hasn't.

We have vague plans to do something on the weekend and he hasn't replied to my last whatsapp. My friend saw him on the app that showed ,'currently active' which stings a bit.

I do like him but I at the moment I feel like a last option he's keeping the door just open for in case something else doesn't work. How should I bring this up, and should I tell him how I feel and just wish him the best and move on,?

The good thing about my experience is that it toughens me up to not to expect much or to grow attached to people too early.

This is to guard my heart and emotions.

I've chatted and video-called pretty women multiple times. Even talking within the app for several days and to move it to a platform that accepts video-calls.

They'll ask for small favors and the like. Nope, that's when all attraction gets lost.

Or they'll rush things and try to meet you super early especially if theyre overseas. It already takes months to get a visa. So that's a red flag.

I get it if video calls were done weekly and that the video calls were at least 10 or 15 minutes. But they seem to rush into getting the scam.

Edit: Romance scams are ruining international dating. Not many young(er) men have these dreams/romantic fantasies and it really does ruin my hope of seeking that dream just to try my luck.

20M — struggling both IRL and on apps, need real advice

I’ve got decent social skills. I can talk, I’m funny, and people usually vibe with me. I’d say I’m slightly above average-looking (5’9, nothing crazy but not bad either).

In real life, my problem is I don’t make moves. I overthink, hesitate, and let the moment pass — even when things are going well.

But dating apps haven’t been much better either. Matches are already kinda rare, and even when I do get one, the conversation usually dies fast or feels one-sided. It’s like I can’t build momentum there either.

So now I’m stuck thinking… is it my looks? My texting? Or just fear of rejection showing up in a different way?

For people who’ve been through this — what actually made the difference for you? Was it improving your profile, your conversation skills, or just pushing past the fear and taking more chances?

Despite doing online dating since the early eHarmony days, I find the whole thing often still leaves me with more questions than answers....

Recently I've noticed a recurring phenomenon on Tinder: a man correcting his name in his bio. Like, the headline name isn't his name. And they're both actual names. The one today was Tim in the headline but he said it's really... Actually I don't remember, but it was another average, normal name.

What's going on?

I (F) matched with a guy about 2 weeks ago and our conversations were good. He seemed like a genuine and thoughtful person.

We met recently and spent almost the whole day together. He opened up quite a bit about his life, including some difficult experiences. I could relate in my own way as I also been through similar, so I felt a certain connection and fondness toward him. It didn't feel casual to me, and I'm not someone who is into one time things either. We also made out.

After the date, I texted him saying I had a nice time. He responded saying he also enjoyed it, but mentioned that he wished I had spoken more about myself and that he's not used to speaking this much.

Since then, his texting frequency has reduced noticeably. He still replies, but it is less engaging. I understand he has a busy job, so I have been trying not to overthink that part.

I also tried calling him once, and he immediately said he's not really a phone call person and asked not to do that.

Now I'm a bit confused. Is this him setting boundaries and still interested? Or is this a sign he's slowly pulling away after the date?

Would really appreciate honest opinion on this.

Hey y'all. I want to know how to make an online LDR(for a few years before eventually dating IRL) work? How to not get disappointed when meeting IRL? How to know if we are compatible IRL after a few years of online LDR? I am talking to a guy online and if things get serious, I want to make it work. We are in different countries FYI.

TL;DR: Met a guy, had great chemistry and slept together, but he kept bragging about other women which triggered me due to past experiences. I ended things because it made me uncomfortable, but now I regret it and feel conflicted about whether I was too impulsive or just protecting my boundaries.

Lately I keep running into the same thing on dating apps.

You match with someone, chat for a bit… and then it just slowly dies.

No one actually suggests meeting, and it turns into this weird pen-pal situation.

I’m starting to wonder if endless chatting is part of the problem.

Do you think conversations would go differently if there was some kind of natural pressure to either meet sooner or move on?

Or is that just how things are and you just have to push for a date yourself?

I’m usually clean-shaven, but every once in a while I grow some facial hair. The thing is, I look pretty different depending on which one I have. My main look is clean-shaven, but I do switch it up sometimes.

Do you think I should still include one photo with facial hair, or would that make people think my photos are outdated? Not sure if it’s better to show both looks or just stick to my usual one.

I like my niece and nephew too - but not to the point where its going to take up one of three prompts I get to tell potential matches - and I've seen it be listed 2 or even 3 times too. Do any guys find a way to send a first message related to this? Is this just girl code for "I'm baby crazy"? Like, I've seen wanting children spelled out by just stating - my goal is to start a family soon.

I also see a ridiculous number of people who seem over interested in their dogs, but I'll focus on that next time.

I was on Hinge for about 3.5 months. Got a few matches and went on a few dates but other than that didnt get much out of it. I’ve been off the app for about 1.5 months now (paused my account). I’m currently taking a break from dating to focus on other things, but I’m also moving to a new city in 4 months. I have new prompts/pictures for my profile but haven’t unpaused my account to showcase them. My question is when I move and settle in to my new city, should I unpause my updated profile and use it as is, or should I do the “fresh start” feature that Hinge has before unpausing my profile

Hello. 45m here. Looking to find suggestions for dating apps outside of the normal, for people who are looking for serious relationships. I've tried all the big ones, Hinge, Bumble, Tinder And had some success over the years. My last relationship started from Hinge and lasted almost 4 years. But in my most recent stint of online dating, it seemed like a lot had changed. I know that's a common theme on this forum.

My question is, outside of the mainstream apps, which ones do people go on when they're sick of the main apps and they're looking for only serious partners.

My biggest issue will be the fact that I'm in a mid-sized City so a lot of apps won't have very many people, but that's okay, because I'm looking for quality over quantity.