r/OhNoConsequences

So my (30F) sister (31F) has been with her husband (30M) for 8 years, married for 3.

My sister and I dont really get on very well; she has cheated on every single person she has ever been in a relationship with, and is very selfish and self centered. If something doesn't revolve around her, she throws a tantrum, and if something she does isnt solely for her benefit, she doesnt do it. She is ny sister, and I love her, but I try and avoid being around her as much as possible.

However, her husband and I have been friends for years, as we were in the same year together at school. He's very different to my sister, and would give the shirt off his back if it would help someone.

Her and her husband separated recently, as my sister had an affair with her husband's best friend of 25 years. Understandably, this crushed her husband, but he put on a brave face for the sake of their son and hopefully to co-parent civilly.

I stayed out of it, didnt want to get sucked into the drama. I told both my sister and her husband that I hope they're okay and that was that. Recently my sister came to visit me (I've lived 200 miles away for 7 years and shes never once visited me before, even though shes been invited numerous times), and proceeded to rant about how the guy she is with now (the affair partner) has changed since they got together and that he doesnt do anything around the house, won't find a job etc etc (he was already unemployed when they started their affair) and how shes wishes she'd just stayed with her husband, and how when she told him that, he laughed at her and said he didn't want her back.

I didn't want to hear it, and told her as much, but she kept going. After about an hour, I eventually just said "well you should have thought about that before you started shagging someone else. You brought this on yourself".

My sister ended up leavning. My husband thinks what I said was fair enough, but my mum (who also had an affair on my father 20 years ago), thinks what I said was too harsh and its clear she regrets her behaviour. So now Im wondering, was what I said too harsh.

I (35F) am adopted and have always had two moms (75F and 62F). The 75F is the one listed on my birth certificate. They were together for a long time, and I considered both of them my parents.

Last year, my 75-year-old mom passed away. It was one of the hardest times of my life. I didn’t really get the chance to grieve because I had to handle everything — working, arranging the funeral, paperwork — all while taking care of my 1-year-old son. Thankfully, my husband and his family were very supportive during all of this.

During that time, my other mom (62F) and her sister kept constantly asking me about the ashes — where they were, why it was taking so long, and telling me how things “should be done” based on where they’re from. But we’re in a different state with different rules. The funeral home had already told me they would call when everything was ready along with the paperwork.

I tried to be patient, but I was overwhelmed and hadn’t even had time to properly mourn. One day I reached my breaking point. I told my other mom that if she and her sister felt so strongly about it, they could take over arrangements. I offered to give them the funeral home’s contact info and cover the cost so they could handle it themselves.

That’s when things escalated. We both raised our voices, but she ended up saying something that really hurt me. She told me that I was acting this way because I’m not really my mom’s daughter — basically implying I’m nobody.

That completely broke me.

Since then, I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression and have been seeing a therapist to cope with everything. I also stopped sending her money (I used to help her financially), because I just don’t feel the same after what she said, especially during such a vulnerable time.

The problem is, she still keeps messaging me asking for money and won’t stop. It’s been really stressful and triggering given everything I’m dealing with.

Now I’m conflicted. Part of me feels justified because what she said crossed a line. But another part of me feels guilty for cutting off financial support.

Was I wrong for stopping the financial help after what she said? How do I even move forward from something like this?

Somali was recently sentenced to prison for 6 months plus 20 days. Prosecutors AND Somali appealed. The appeals process will take about 6 months, adding onto Somali's established time, meaning he could be locked down for a whole year, barring any additional appeals in the future (another six months process if filed). After years of screwing with people for clout, he's finally locked away. GOOD.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/GFLicenseThrowaway. He posted in r/AmItheAsshole

Short post.

Mood Spoiler: >!satisfying ending!<

Original Post: October 1, 2023

My (28m) GF (26f) is always late. Always. No matter if it's 5 mins up the road or catching a plane.

Before we get into it, no she isn't on the autism spectrum, she doesn't have ADHD or time blindness.

She just DAWDLES. ALL. THE TIME.

She snoozes her alarm at least three times every morning, then lays there going through her social media.

Eventually she gets up and takes a long ass shower, dresses (Which takes her forever, and she usually sits wrapped in a towel on her phone), then lingers over her coffee. 9 times out of 10 she's running late for work, and ends up speeding to make it on time.

Naturally, she's gotten a number of speeding tickets. I've tried to help her - eg putting her phone where she can't reach it from bed so she has to get up to snooze it, but she literally just grabs it and goes back to bed.

You try to get her to move her ass and she just digs in her heels and takes even longer. Her response to people calling out her lateness is "better late than dead on time".

Anyway, again, she was running even later than normal for work, and really had to speed to make it. A week goes by and sure enough, massive speeding fine in the mail.

She now has to hand in her drivers license because she's got so many demerit points, she'll be without one for 6 months.

Instead of just dealing with it, she TELLS me "I'll need you to cop this one and say you were driving so I don't lose my license" and of course, I refused, telling her she needs to live with the consequences of her actions and maybe she should stop speeding, and wake up earlier.

This argument went on for a few days until she finally conceded, then proceeds to tell me "well, you'll have to drive me to and from work until I get my license back", and I tell her I won't be doing that - her work is literally in another direction than my work is from home, and doing so would add another two hours of driving per day. She says it shouldn't matter as my work has flexible hours, but I stood my ground and refused, and said she can take public transport - there's literally a bus stop 2 mins walk from our house and the bus stops maybe 5 mins walk from her work, and it's quite regular,

She says she hates public transport and refuses to ride it, so I said then it's Uber for her, or organise a car pool, but bottom line, it's not my responsibility.

She called me an AH and is giving me the silent treatment, said a decent boyfriend would go to those lengths for her and that it's only 6 months.

So, am I AH for not "saving her license" and refusing to drive her to and from work for 6 months?

TL,DR: Gf is always running late, speeds to work, gets caught, loses license, expects me to cop the blame so she can keep her license, I Refuse, she then expects me to drive her to and from work but it's literally out of my way, says I'm the AH.

EDIT: We live in Brisbane, Australia for those wondering

OOP is voted NTA

Update 1 in Comments: October 2, 2023 (Next Day)

ADD: Wow! I wasn't expecting such a response, and definitely not everyone being on my side.

She told me all her friends think I'm TA, which is a big part of why I came here in the first place. After seeing the responses here, I messaged a few of them... and the ones she actually DID contact said NTA.

As for why I'm still with her... I'm starting to question that myself... I've not been really happy with her the last few months and this is starting to make me question the entire relationship.

Update 2 in Comments: October 3, 2023 (Next Day, 2 days from OG post)

So today I asked her she looked at the train / bus timetables and she hit me with (paraphrasing) "OMG you seriously aren't going to help me, you really expect me to catch public transport blah blah blah".

Reflecting on this and past behaviour, and her attitude towards the whole thing, I'm going to break up with her.

Thank you everyone for your help.

***** Final Update 3 in Comments: October 12, 2023

I've certainly had more pleasant experiences in life. She didn't take it well, lots of yelling and screaming, then doing a complete 180 and crying and begging, trying the sympathy card "you know I can't afford a place on my own" (true, I own the house and don't charge her rent), then promising she'll do better and change. I pointed out to her this is not the first, or even the tenth time this has been brought up to her, and that I'm no longer happy in the relationship. I listed a number of issues as well, and she started to call me an arsehole and listed MY issues, to which I responded "well then I guess it IS best if we break up", which didn't go down well.
She moved in with a friend temporarily, and I've told her I'm going no-contact, I will let her friend know when she has mail etc delivered here, but for now I think it's best we don't talk to each other.
Her friend says she's carpooling to work with a co-worker, but as usual, she's always a few minutes late then the coworker is there to pick her up lol.
TBH, it's a massive relief, I didn't realise how stressful being with her truly was until now, and while I'm still down, I think the future is bright ahead

Location: North Carolina, USA

A guy (19) messaged me (17) on Instagram two weeks ago. He sent two messages, one saying hello and another asking if I 'send.' 'Sending' means sending nude images. I was offended that he had asked me to send him nude images immediately and because, in my opinion, nothing on my page indicates that I'd be the type to send images like that to someone, especially a person I don't know. I saw that he had posted his college in his Instagram bio and that he played a sport at the college. I took a screenshot of his DM and attached it to an email I drafted to his coach explaining that I found the guy's message to be offensive and asked if he was okay with his college-aged players asking high schoolers for nudes. I never sent this email. I took a screenshot of it and sent it to the guy, who then blocked me.

Two days ago, he messaged me from a different account saying he was going to pursue legal action because my fake email had caused him to lose his position on the team. He said that he'd gone to his coach and tried to explain the email before his coach asked him about it, but since his coach had never received the email the guy confessed to asking for nudes from a senior in hs for no reason. His college does a program where athletes can assist with k-12 teams for volunteer hours, and apparently he'd been assisting with coaching a high school girls team and his coach had temporarily removed him from that position. He claims he is going to sue me for the damages related to his removal. Could any legal action he brings have any basis? Or am I actually at risk for being sued for this?

My friend and co-worker was invited to his close friend's wedding and received a plus one. Since he had just broken up with his girlfriend, he didn't want to go alone and be seen alone in photos on social media so he asked if I would go with him.

I love weddings and didn't have plans for the weekend and always wanted to see this particular venue in person anyway as I always pictured it for myself so i said yes. I didn't know the bride and groom but I am aware of wedding etiquette such as don't wear white, don't upstage the bride, be polite, etc.

The wedding comes and I show up with my coworker/date. I meet a lot of his buddies and we are all getting along fine. One thing about me is I love to dance and never turn down an opportunity. I was on several dance teams in school so I am semitrained, so it's not uncoiffed or sloppy dancing. During cocktail hour the DJ is playing some great music which I thought was more appropriate for the reception and didn't want to let the songs 'go to waste' so to speak so I danced a little bit. Nothing crazy but I loved the music. People were looking my way but not in shock but almost like delight like "she is going to be fun on the dance floor tonight".

Finally the reception starts and they are doing to bridal party announcements where the DJ plays songs and the couples dance together onto the dance floor. I love hyping people up and getting the party started so as each couple was announced I'd subtlely hype them up and show them some fun moves to go along with the songs. Nothing crazy, I'd point at them and do something like shake my shoulders and encourage them to do the same. Eventually my date asked me to cool it so I did by the 4th couple and didn't do it again as it seems they had routines they practiced anyway. I didn't think it was a big deal to help out but I stopped when asked.

I spent most of the night on the dance floor afterwards, dancing with everyone and generally hyping up the crowd. I could tell a lot of guests may have not felt confident so I would make sure to go to the tables sitting down and try to get them on the dance floor because I know it's important at weddings for guests to have fun. At one point though the mother of the bride or groom (couldn't tell) looked at me and rudely quipped "can you please stop? We don't know you" when I was dancing next to her table trying to get the grandparents up. I fully retreated and spent the rest of the night at my table and didn't even speak to my date because he basically started to ignore me after the announcements and during dinner service when I asked if he wanted to dance. He said no he was eating, and rudely.

So AITA for dancing at a wedding? I get that I wasn't a friend or family but I was a guest and even brought a card to a couple I just met that day. My coworker hasn't texted me and I see him tomorrow. I also wanted to reach out to the bride via Facebook to see if photos were posted yet and thank her for the lovely time

A reminder that I am not the OOP, that is u/Scared-Weakness-6250.

To read the original post and updates #2-4, click here.

To read update #5, click here.

To read update #6, click here

To read update #7, click here

To read update #8, click here.

To read update #9, click here.

I didn't post update #10 from December 2024 because it wasn't that consequencey, but I'll include it here for the narrative.

In August my attorney let me know he'd received a letter for me from my middle brother in law. This was the first contact from any of my sisters or their husbands since they'd been arrested. It was a long letter, had a sincere apology and a lot of information he thought I should know.

Biggest thing was that he and my sister are divorced, not separated. He moved out and filed for divorce right after we made the settlement agreement. He and my middle sister kept it quiet until it was done. Their house sold in June and she's moved to an apartment.

He told me that his being arrested last year (along with my other BIL) for breaking into the vacation house could have cost him his job and killed his career, and that it was a huge moment of clarity for him. He said that the dynamic between the four of them (my sisters, him and my oldest sister's husband) had become totally toxic, that they are all borderline alcoholics or worse and that he had to get away from that environment. He no longer speaks to my oldest sister or her husband.

He also asked if he, my dad and I could meet and have an extended conversation as there were things he needed to talk about in person. Frankly I was unenthused but my wife thought it was worth doing. I asked my dad if he was interested, he was, so I relayed a response to now-ex BIL through my attorney and we met over lunch.

We talked for over two hours. It was pretty exhausting. ExBIL looked better than I'd seen him in, well, forever. He's quit drinking, is in therapy, has lost a lot of weight and looked fit. He was apologetic about all the BS he'd been involved in and apologized to my dad for hiding the divorce. Told us therapy is really helping him. Asked me if the $5K he'd sent covered all the damage to the vacation house (I told him it had) and thanked me for talking to the county prosecutor. Said he is strongly considering transferring to a new project that would have him living overseas for the next few years, that he really needed to reset his life but he was trying to balance his mental health against not being part of his kids' lives every day.

ExBIL also hit us with what for me was quite the "WTF?". Apparently my sisters have hated me since before I was born but have always hidden it from the rest of us. They "liked things better" when there were just the two of them. He said when they drank (which was whenever they were together) my sisters would often bitch about me being the favorite child, how my folks gave me more opportunities than they had, how my doing well was a result of that and that I didn't deserve my success. None of that made any sense to me or my dad. All three of us went to the same public schools, had dumb part time jobs, etc. My folks paid for 100% of their college (not mine, I got a full scholarship). I was pretty shocked by this but my dad was literally speechless. Dad eventually said he had no clue they felt that way as kids and that he and Mom had never favored any of us. He's still having a hard time with this. Personally I'm embarrassed that I was clueless about it all my life. But it does explain a lot.

ExBIL warned us that my sisters and remaining BIL intended to put on a full court press to alienate my folks from my wife and me. They also plan to keep the grandkids away from my folks to pressure them. He said that they're still 1000% convinced that my folks are sitting on a ton of money, they want some of it ASAP and are sure I'd stop my folks from giving them anything. That got a laugh out of my dad because he and Mom simply don't have any real money (they do have their house of course).

ExBIL also told us that he and my middle sister had rented out the vacation house a total of six times over the years. He offered to pay me what they'd made, I declined and told him it was in the past. He also told us my older sister/BIL had never declared the income from renting out the vacation house (he did, he didn't want to get in trouble with the IRS).

Both my dad and I spoke with exBIL separately for a few minutes. Don't know what they talked about. I thanked him for his apology and for making things right financially. Also wished him well and told him I'd be willing to talk with him again down the road. Don't think that's going to happen. I probably could have been more forgiving but I think he appreciated me not bullshitting him by acting like all this crap hasn't affected my wife and me.

There was more but it's less important and this is too long as it is.

After exBIL left I asked my dad if he, Mom and I could sit down and talk about all this. I didn't mean immediately but that's how he took it, he called Mom and let her know I was coming over so I rolled with it. She was pretty hurt by my sisters plans to ruin her and Dad's relationship with me an my wife and to use the grandkids as pawns. She cried a lot and wanted to confront them immediately. Dad got her to put a pin in that for a while. Mom was also dumbfounded about me supposedly being the favorite child. She feels like they were actually more strict with me because I had a hard curfew and my sisters didn't. To be honest I barely remember that, it was 25 years ago.

A couple of side notes:

• Middle sister eventually told our folks she's divorced. She's currently living off child support and her half of the home sale. Supposedly she's trying to find a job.
• My parents have gone low contact with both sisters, no idea how permanent that is but Mom seems like she's completely had it with them for the foreseeable future. They're spending a lot of time at the vacation house, were up there over a month at one point.
• ExBIL found my Reddit posts. He's not terribly happy about them but feels they're more or less accurate, though obviously he found them slanted towards my point of view. He disagreed that he's boring but said to be fair that he finds me boring as well. I can live with that, our worlds don't have much overlap except my sister.
• We got the trust set up for my parents' house. I'm the trustee.
• All this has been emotionally draining for me. I decided it would be a good idea for me to see a therapist again (I've seen one in the past, mainly for stress related issues). I've been doing so for a while and it's definitely helpful. Therapist tells me my decision to stay no contact with my siblings is healthy for now but also wants me to keep an open mind down the road.

Merry Christmas to you all!

And with Update #11, the sisters have reappeared, and are still facing consequences for their past actions.

April 18, 2026. Sorry this post is so long, I haven't been back on Reddit for a while. Was using my old laptop today, it was still logged into the site. I saw some messages asking for an update so here you are.

The short version is that yes, as predicted, my sisters did come at my folks again trying to suck money out of them and get them to turn on me. They failed, it got ugly and my folks barely talk to either of them these days.

The long, gory details (please note that most of what I say regarding my sisters is info from my folks):

At the start of the year I decided to replace my folks car. I'd paid for the last one about eight years ago when Dad retired and it was still in good shape, relatively low miles and was still reliable. But it was still eight years old and I didn't want them to be stranded especially if they were up at the vacation home. So for an early 50th wedding anniversary I got them a new midsize Toyota SUV with AWD. I mention the car stuff because it became the point of entry for my siblings' latest campaign to get money from them.

The first several months of 2025 were quiet. My folks and my sisters established somewhat of a detente, they were talking occasionally and mom and dad saw their grandkids a few times. Basically no drama. Both my folks were happy with that and Mom was fairly verbal about how much lower stress their lives were this way. Being low contact had helped her realize how much my sisters' behavior was wearing her down. Dad was fine with it too but he's pretty laid back to begin with and hadn't been in the firing line as much as Mom.

For their anniversary my folks had a small party at the clubhouse where they live. Wife and I couldn't make it so my parents invited the sisters and their families. At the party my sisters saw our folks' new car and made multiple comments about how well off they must be to be able to afford it. A few days later they approached Mom and tried to get her to pay for all five kids' summer camps, right then and there. They told her that I had always paid for it in the past (a total lie) and was refusing, so she and dad needed to step up. And in addition they told her "You obviously have plenty of money, you bought a fancy new car even though you don't need it."

A bit of background for those unfamiliar with these programs like I was: In higher income social circles it's popular to your kids to fancy summer camps that last about a month. They aren't cheap, currently $4000 to $5000 per kid plus other expenses while they're there. Some are more. Supposedly lifelong friendships are established, connections are made, etc. At least that's what my wife explained to me (she used to go, neither I nor my sisters ever did). So we're talking $25K for all five kids that my sisters expected our parents to hand over on the spot because otherwise they'd "lose their slots".

Mom gave them a flat out no. They started badgering her and were still at it when Dad got home. The whole thing became a yelling match, my folks kept saying they didn't have that kind of money and wouldn't spend it that way anyhow and the sisters kept telling them "stop hoarding your money and help us now, not when you're dead". It got Mom pretty shook up. During the argument my folks told them that I'd bought both their last car and the new one, which I'd asked the not to do but I get why it happened. This caused my sisters to go ballistic and they started claiming that I'd given my folks "their money" and that they should sell the car or get a loan against it and give the money to them. At that point Dad made them leave and they've been mostly no contact with my sisters since then. Folks did get all the kids Christmas presents and they Facetime occasionally but they haven't seen the kids face to face since.

After all this went down my sisters tried to contact me. They both called both my mobile and office lines and my wife's mobile from new numbers but we don't answer unknown calls. They also emailed me from new accounts. I only read one of the emails, it was basically a sad attempt to manipulate me into giving them money. I had the attorney who'd dealt with all this before send them cease and desist letters to stop contacting me or I'd pursue criminal charges for harassment and sue them for damages. Throwing money at an attorney to intimidate a relative so they'll stop bothering you is kind of a shitty thing to do but it worked, they went back to leaving me alone.

Other notes: oldest sister and husband's bankruptcy is in the repayment phase, which will take them several years. Apparently it's pretty tough for them because the repayment gets deducted from his paycheck so they can't get around it. According to a conversation I had with my ex-BIL (middle sister's ex) they're scraping by, driving crap cars and have fallen out of their friend group due to their behavior, lack of money and because they screwed over several friends by not refunding money they'd been paid to use my vacation home. Given how much appearances and status mean to them it's a worse punishment than jail. Ex-BIL also says they continue to drink too much. He says my remaining BIL has been diagnosed with stage 2 hypertension and other issues but hasn't changed his habits or lost any weight. Oldest sister never did get a job and she hasn't paid back a dime of the $45K she "borrowed" from Mom two years ago that let her keep her house.

Also, my middle sister ran out of money and had to give up the place she'd rented after her divorce that kept her kids in the same school system. She's working but it doesn't pay well, and even with child support there was no way she was going to be able to afford to stay in the district long term. She ended up moving in with the older sister and her family. They converted the garage for her and the kids. That was a whole other clusterfuck that's not worth going into, but no permits, bad behavior on everyone's part and fed up neighbors made for a lot of drama. They're all still living there as far as I know.

On a happier note my parents spent a fair amount of time at the vacation home last year. And they purged a fair amount of stuff, especially furniture they'd been storing there since they'd sold the home we grew up in. That allowed me to get the outbuilding fixed up / weathertight / garage door working, so now it can be parked in. David (my property manager who lives in the area) managed the work and got it done before snow season started. Wife and I also made a couple of trips to it which was nice.

We’ve had to ban almost 30 people across multiple posts for brigading in the last week. It’s exhausting and we’re tired of it.

Coming through a crosspost here to go to the original subreddit’s version of the post to comment or vote will get you permanently banned. No excuses. No “I didn’t know” and no “Oops”! This is a Reddit rule that applies to every subreddit.

When you suddenly comment on a years old post on the original subreddit within the short window of time it was crossposted here, we know where you came from. We have no choice but to ban you. Reddit will remove subreddits that don’t enforce this rule. We will also be reporting it to the original sub so they can decide if they want to ban you on their end.

Please be mindful of where you are commenting. We know it’s easy to make a mistake. If you catch yourself doing it on accident before we see it and delete your comment, no harm done. That’s something we can let go. Otherwise it’s a ban with no appeal.

Again, we want to thank those of you who have kept an eye out and reported it to us. We appreciate the help.

My wife and I have the questionable habit of feeding strays. We have bird feeders all over our property, put out cookies for the squirrels, and leave food and water in our backyard for any strays that wander by. The latter is the reason I'm writing this ...

So, I put out a fresh bowl of dry food and a large pan of water every day between five and six in the evening. I go out every morning and refill the water bowl and toss whatever food remains into my yard, usually just crumbs. A week ago, my wife took out some trash and, when she returned, asked me if I'd forgotten to put out food.

I walked outside and, sure enough, the food bowl was empty. Well, I am retired, so maybe I forgot. I refilled it and went back inside.

The thing is ... it happened every night for the rest of the week. I made a point of double-checking before going to bed, and the damn bowl was always empty.

Cut to the chase, and it turns out our new neighbor had noticed our habit of leaving food out for strays. So, not wanting to turn down a boon to her budget, she was putting her little dog in a harness and lowering him over the fence separating our yards. Then she'd let out slack on the rope until he could reach our back porch, let him empty the bowl, and then reel him back in.

Once I caught her at it, we had a brief conversation ... if you can use the word to describe me asking questions at a reasonable volume and her screaming nonsense for replies. Finally, I called her landlord, a friend of a friend, and asked if he could have a word with her. Just let her know that this is not how to be a good neighbor.

He listened to me, then asked, "She has a dog?"

Turns out that he doesn't rent to people with dogs. Cats, yes; dogs, no. He drove over and caught her with her dog in the living room. Now she has 30 days to move out. Not my finest moment, but how was I to know that the guy would do that?

This whole thing has turned into a mess and I honestly don’t know if I went too far or not.

My sister is getting married later this year. When she first started planning, money was tight for her and she was stressed about losing the date she wanted. I offered to help and ended up putting down the $4k deposit for the venue so she could lock it in. It wasn’t meant to be a gift exactly, more like helping her get started and we’d figure the rest out later.

She was super appreciative at the time and kept saying how important it was that I’d be there, etc.

About a month ago she asked me to come over and talk. She basically said she was “reworking” the wedding and wanted everything to feel a certain way. Then she told me my girlfriend (we’ve been together 3 years, live together, etc) wasn’t invited anymore because she “doesn’t fit the vibe.”

I thought she was joking at first. She wasn’t.

Then she also said I wasn’t going to be in the wedding party anymore because she wants it to “look more cohesive.” I didn’t even know what to say to that.

I told her I’m not going to a wedding where my girlfriend isn’t welcome. She said that was my choice but she wasn’t changing her mind.

That honestly really bothered me. Not just the girlfriend thing, but the fact that I’ve been helping her and suddenly I’m basically just… optional.

So I told her if I’m not going, I don’t feel right paying for part of it. I asked if she could pay me back the deposit or we could figure something out.

She said she can’t afford it and got upset, saying I was putting her in a terrible position.

We argued about it for a few days and weren’t getting anywhere. The venue had a cancellation window coming up, so I ended up calling and canceling it and got the deposit back.

Now everything is blown up. My parents are pissed and saying I ruined her wedding over something small. My sister isn’t talking to me at all. Some family members are acting like I did it out of spite.

From my perspective, I just didn’t think I should be out $4k for a wedding I’m not even really invited to (or at least not welcome at in a real way).

But I don’t know. Maybe I should’ve just eaten the cost and stayed out of it.

AITA?

I used to work in traffic court and we’d have what we’d call frequent flyers. It would always be the same people with the same violations that never learned their lessons. Then there was a whole other level of frequent flyers that were so bad they were we never wanted to see them because they were always arrogant, impatient and entitled. They felt they were above the law and thought driving safely was a joke.

One woman that we dealt with for several months was named Tina. She had 4 cases under appeal (all speeding) and one trial pending. She was in some sort of healthcare job that required a valid license but also had a code of ethics for people on her profession to follow which included not having multiple speeding violations on her drivers license in one year. Her driver’s license was under review and the 5th case would definitely suspend it. She visited us once a week regarding the appeals status and insisted on only talking with my supervisor, according to Tina the regular rank and file was not knowledgeable enough for needs. She was super desperate because she was about to be let go from her job and possibly have her professional license yanked. Any time she visited she wasted tons of time and energy.

She took the 5th case to trial, her charges were for speeding and not having insurance in her possession. At the arraignment the judge asked Tina for the insurance but she said she forgot it and that she will bring it to the trial. About a month goes by and trial day comes for Tina. It didn’t go well for her, she had to pay a huge fine for speeding and the judge denied her insurance. Altogether it was about a $3K ticket. Of course she took her out uncontainable wrath on the clerk who gave her paperwork to sign and a bailiff had to be called to deal with her.

About 2 weeks later I see a complaint filed for her from the DA. The insurance she tried to show the judge was fraudulent, her insurance had been cancelled prior to the issuing date of the ticket. Her record was so bad she couldn’t get insurance so she ended up lying about it. After she gets served with the complaint she ends up admitting at arraignment that she falsified the insurance information. She ended up with about $2K in fines, a misdemeanor and a work project commitment. She completely melted down when she was told her license was suspended for 6 months. All the work on the appeals to prevent license suspension went down the tubes because she thought she could be sneaky. She didn’t count on the trial clerk verifying with the insurance company she listed.

After the trial she went from department to department crying and looking for my supervisor. She was creating so much of a distraction that the bailiffs had to move her to the parking lot where she sat and cried while she waited for her uber.

Her appeals ended up being denied and her license ended up being suspended for 2 years altogether. We thankfully never saw her again. I assumed she moved states and started her shenanigans elsewhere because I doubt she learned her lessons.