u/GamerGirlLex77

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My friend and co-worker was invited to his close friend's wedding and received a plus one. Since he had just broken up with his girlfriend, he didn't want to go alone and be seen alone in photos on social media so he asked if I would go with him.

I love weddings and didn't have plans for the weekend and always wanted to see this particular venue in person anyway as I always pictured it for myself so i said yes. I didn't know the bride and groom but I am aware of wedding etiquette such as don't wear white, don't upstage the bride, be polite, etc.

The wedding comes and I show up with my coworker/date. I meet a lot of his buddies and we are all getting along fine. One thing about me is I love to dance and never turn down an opportunity. I was on several dance teams in school so I am semitrained, so it's not uncoiffed or sloppy dancing. During cocktail hour the DJ is playing some great music which I thought was more appropriate for the reception and didn't want to let the songs 'go to waste' so to speak so I danced a little bit. Nothing crazy but I loved the music. People were looking my way but not in shock but almost like delight like "she is going to be fun on the dance floor tonight".

Finally the reception starts and they are doing to bridal party announcements where the DJ plays songs and the couples dance together onto the dance floor. I love hyping people up and getting the party started so as each couple was announced I'd subtlely hype them up and show them some fun moves to go along with the songs. Nothing crazy, I'd point at them and do something like shake my shoulders and encourage them to do the same. Eventually my date asked me to cool it so I did by the 4th couple and didn't do it again as it seems they had routines they practiced anyway. I didn't think it was a big deal to help out but I stopped when asked.

I spent most of the night on the dance floor afterwards, dancing with everyone and generally hyping up the crowd. I could tell a lot of guests may have not felt confident so I would make sure to go to the tables sitting down and try to get them on the dance floor because I know it's important at weddings for guests to have fun. At one point though the mother of the bride or groom (couldn't tell) looked at me and rudely quipped "can you please stop? We don't know you" when I was dancing next to her table trying to get the grandparents up. I fully retreated and spent the rest of the night at my table and didn't even speak to my date because he basically started to ignore me after the announcements and during dinner service when I asked if he wanted to dance. He said no he was eating, and rudely.

So AITA for dancing at a wedding? I get that I wasn't a friend or family but I was a guest and even brought a card to a couple I just met that day. My coworker hasn't texted me and I see him tomorrow. I also wanted to reach out to the bride via Facebook to see if photos were posted yet and thank her for the lovely time

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/GFLicenseThrowaway. He posted in r/AmItheAsshole

Short post.

Mood Spoiler: >!satisfying ending!<

Original Post: October 1, 2023

My (28m) GF (26f) is always late. Always. No matter if it's 5 mins up the road or catching a plane.

Before we get into it, no she isn't on the autism spectrum, she doesn't have ADHD or time blindness.

She just DAWDLES. ALL. THE TIME.

She snoozes her alarm at least three times every morning, then lays there going through her social media.

Eventually she gets up and takes a long ass shower, dresses (Which takes her forever, and she usually sits wrapped in a towel on her phone), then lingers over her coffee. 9 times out of 10 she's running late for work, and ends up speeding to make it on time.

Naturally, she's gotten a number of speeding tickets. I've tried to help her - eg putting her phone where she can't reach it from bed so she has to get up to snooze it, but she literally just grabs it and goes back to bed.

You try to get her to move her ass and she just digs in her heels and takes even longer. Her response to people calling out her lateness is "better late than dead on time".

Anyway, again, she was running even later than normal for work, and really had to speed to make it. A week goes by and sure enough, massive speeding fine in the mail.

She now has to hand in her drivers license because she's got so many demerit points, she'll be without one for 6 months.

Instead of just dealing with it, she TELLS me "I'll need you to cop this one and say you were driving so I don't lose my license" and of course, I refused, telling her she needs to live with the consequences of her actions and maybe she should stop speeding, and wake up earlier.

This argument went on for a few days until she finally conceded, then proceeds to tell me "well, you'll have to drive me to and from work until I get my license back", and I tell her I won't be doing that - her work is literally in another direction than my work is from home, and doing so would add another two hours of driving per day. She says it shouldn't matter as my work has flexible hours, but I stood my ground and refused, and said she can take public transport - there's literally a bus stop 2 mins walk from our house and the bus stops maybe 5 mins walk from her work, and it's quite regular,

She says she hates public transport and refuses to ride it, so I said then it's Uber for her, or organise a car pool, but bottom line, it's not my responsibility.

She called me an AH and is giving me the silent treatment, said a decent boyfriend would go to those lengths for her and that it's only 6 months.

So, am I AH for not "saving her license" and refusing to drive her to and from work for 6 months?

TL,DR: Gf is always running late, speeds to work, gets caught, loses license, expects me to cop the blame so she can keep her license, I Refuse, she then expects me to drive her to and from work but it's literally out of my way, says I'm the AH.

EDIT: We live in Brisbane, Australia for those wondering

OOP is voted NTA

Update 1 in Comments: October 2, 2023 (Next Day)

ADD: Wow! I wasn't expecting such a response, and definitely not everyone being on my side.

She told me all her friends think I'm TA, which is a big part of why I came here in the first place. After seeing the responses here, I messaged a few of them... and the ones she actually DID contact said NTA.

As for why I'm still with her... I'm starting to question that myself... I've not been really happy with her the last few months and this is starting to make me question the entire relationship.

Update 2 in Comments: October 3, 2023 (Next Day, 2 days from OG post)

So today I asked her she looked at the train / bus timetables and she hit me with (paraphrasing) "OMG you seriously aren't going to help me, you really expect me to catch public transport blah blah blah".

Reflecting on this and past behaviour, and her attitude towards the whole thing, I'm going to break up with her.

Thank you everyone for your help.

***** Final Update 3 in Comments: October 12, 2023

I've certainly had more pleasant experiences in life. She didn't take it well, lots of yelling and screaming, then doing a complete 180 and crying and begging, trying the sympathy card "you know I can't afford a place on my own" (true, I own the house and don't charge her rent), then promising she'll do better and change. I pointed out to her this is not the first, or even the tenth time this has been brought up to her, and that I'm no longer happy in the relationship. I listed a number of issues as well, and she started to call me an arsehole and listed MY issues, to which I responded "well then I guess it IS best if we break up", which didn't go down well.
She moved in with a friend temporarily, and I've told her I'm going no-contact, I will let her friend know when she has mail etc delivered here, but for now I think it's best we don't talk to each other.
Her friend says she's carpooling to work with a co-worker, but as usual, she's always a few minutes late then the coworker is there to pick her up lol.
TBH, it's a massive relief, I didn't realise how stressful being with her truly was until now, and while I'm still down, I think the future is bright ahead