AITAH for canceling my sister’s wedding venue after she uninvited me?
This whole thing has turned into a mess and I honestly don’t know if I went too far or not.
My sister is getting married later this year. When she first started planning, money was tight for her and she was stressed about losing the date she wanted. I offered to help and ended up putting down the $4k deposit for the venue so she could lock it in. It wasn’t meant to be a gift exactly, more like helping her get started and we’d figure the rest out later.
She was super appreciative at the time and kept saying how important it was that I’d be there, etc.
About a month ago she asked me to come over and talk. She basically said she was “reworking” the wedding and wanted everything to feel a certain way. Then she told me my girlfriend (we’ve been together 3 years, live together, etc) wasn’t invited anymore because she “doesn’t fit the vibe.”
I thought she was joking at first. She wasn’t.
Then she also said I wasn’t going to be in the wedding party anymore because she wants it to “look more cohesive.” I didn’t even know what to say to that.
I told her I’m not going to a wedding where my girlfriend isn’t welcome. She said that was my choice but she wasn’t changing her mind.
That honestly really bothered me. Not just the girlfriend thing, but the fact that I’ve been helping her and suddenly I’m basically just… optional.
So I told her if I’m not going, I don’t feel right paying for part of it. I asked if she could pay me back the deposit or we could figure something out.
She said she can’t afford it and got upset, saying I was putting her in a terrible position.
We argued about it for a few days and weren’t getting anywhere. The venue had a cancellation window coming up, so I ended up calling and canceling it and got the deposit back.
Now everything is blown up. My parents are pissed and saying I ruined her wedding over something small. My sister isn’t talking to me at all. Some family members are acting like I did it out of spite.
From my perspective, I just didn’t think I should be out $4k for a wedding I’m not even really invited to (or at least not welcome at in a real way).
But I don’t know. Maybe I should’ve just eaten the cost and stayed out of it.
AITA?