r/LGBT_Muslims

am writing this because I am completely devastated and feel like I’m at a dead end

I (25F, lesbian) and my girlfriend (29F, bi) have been together for 3 months and I love her with my whole heart. We are both North African and Muslim, living in a Muslim country. Because of where we live, living "out" as a couple is impossible, and raising a child together would require leaving the country, something that is complicated because she is very close to her family and refuses to cut them off.

We recently had a long conversation about the future, and she told me she realized she wants to be a mom. Her proposed plan is to enter a lavender marriage just to have a child, then get a divorce, she said this isn’t happening any soon, probably in 3-4 years

I suggested IVF so she wouldn't have to have sex with her husband, but she says it’s too expensive and physically painful.

The thought of her having sex with someone else, even if it's just for the purpose of having a child, is incredibly painful for me.

She said we can eventually raise the child together, since her plan is to raise the kid in a western country

The irony is that I am also currently looking for a lavender marriage for myself but for different reasons

My family is abusing me to get married, but I am strictly looking for a gay man who is not attracted to women at all, because I cannot be in a situation where my "husband" wants a real relationship with me

I’ve asked her for a few days of space to think. I’m torn between my deep love for her and the million extra steps we have to take just to exist. It feels like we are constantly performing a play just to survive, and now this plan adds a level of emotional pain I don't know if I can handle

Could anyone enlighten me to have another perspective?

hi guys this is an ad. any advice pls????

I learnt in therapy I have to de-cringe a lot of my beliefs to put myself in a position that allows me to pursue authentic connections and experience the full range of beautiful human emotions. looking for like-minded people to chat, play and just hang out with or mutually adore and hype up!

I am: a writer amongst many other things. my main profession is something I'm leaving soon to pursue a more authored life...........

I like to chat about: the dark, the taboo, the mystical, discuss poetry, philosophy, lesbian stuff, gender theories, history, politics, aesthetics, psychology/analysis, therapy, shadow work astrology etc.........

I like to do: hike, draw, write, boxing, content create, sleep, try new things, adrenaline seeking, always chasing a thrill or a high, silent meditations, (I'm close to getting into yoga) East Asian calligraphy, henna, write on substack, I could get into gaming on my Mac...also want to start a podcast and host ppl..........

I want to learn: everything I'm so hungry omg

I'm curious about others and I am well known for creating safe spaces and my capacity for depth <3

I'm living in the Arabian peninsula rn (ironic) hmuuuuu

For those considering a lavender relationship please think carefully before going into it. I personally ended up in one because i had intimacy issues with the opposite sex. I thought it would simply help me avoid intimacy problems altogether

However we never clearly agreed on important expectations especially whether having children would be part of the arrangement. Over time, this became a major issue between us particularly as family pressure increased after many years without children. What started as a practical arrangement slowly turned into conflict because we had not fully defined boundaries and long-term goals from the beginning.

So i strongly advise that both parties must clearly come to a full agreement on what is included and what is not included in the relationship before committing to it.

Also, you should understand that this kind of relationship is more like a sibling type bond or roommates living together rather than a romantic relationship. It can feel emotionally neutral or disconnected in that sense. Personally i could have ended up in a same-sex situation for affection or even deeper emotional needs but i hold fear of Allah and that played a major role in my decision. The reason i chose this path was mainly to avoid intimacy and to protect someone else’s daughter from being hurt or losing her dignity knowing that i would not be able to provide a normal intimate relationship. I also felt that if this situation ever became exposed, she could end up being judged or even laughed at which is something i wanted to prevent.

Gonna try my hand on here again 😅 I’m a 34(FTM/intersex) who’s Palestinian and currently lives in upstate NY! I’m a 5ft 4in dude who (alhamdulillah) has a very accepting family! I recently graduated with my masters and currently work as a clinical scientist where my specialty is in genetics. I am hoping to find a spouse, my forever person who I can come home to and share adventures with! I am attracted to women only and prefer someone who already lives in the US. I want us to be able to meet and to be able to take you out too. My interests include hiking, traveling, camping, working out, pretty much anything that keeps me physically active. I’m also a bit of a foodie and love going out to eat and chillin in cafes/parks. I’m also an anime nerd and from time to time be gaming. Bonus: I also know how to cook too for those who want some authentic Palestinian dishes 😁 Serious inquiries please, I don’t wanna play games here and genuinely want something serious! 🙏🏽

Hi everyone,

I (32F) would really appreciate some perspective on a complicated situation with someone I’m close to (30F). I'll preface by saying I love her completely and I know it’s mutual.

We were together a few years ago for about a year and broke up because our beliefs and life expectations didn’t align.

We’ve recently reconnected and the connection is still very strong. We talk a lot, spend time together, and recently became physically close again (cuddling and some chaste kissing). She’s told me things like I’m her soulmate, that she’s never found anything this easy, and that she feels completely safe and herself with me.

The difficulty is that she doesn’t feel able to be in a relationship with me because of her personal beliefs and the life path she feels she has to follow.

She’s said things like:

If it weren’t for religion, we would be together

She feels we are soulmates

She believes she will eventually need to follow a more traditional path (marriage), even though she doesn’t want that right now

She has tried to think of ways we could stay in each other’s lives, but worries it wouldn’t be fair to me long-term

(When I've raised that I feel like she's distanced/moved on) she never doubts that I love her because "you can't love someone to this level on intensity without it being reciprocated"

What I struggle with is that:

External factors (family, social circle, etc.) seem less of a barrier now than before

She knows people in similar situations who have made different choices

So the main barrier seems to be internal rather than practical

At the same time, we’re still very emotionally close, which makes it harder to step back.

I’m trying to figure out:

Is this something that can ever realistically change, or is it a fixed boundary?

Am I setting myself up to get hurt by staying this close?

How do people reconcile strong religious beliefs with same-sex relationships in cases like this?

I've also thought a lot about reverting. I would never revert for her, but it's something I keep coming back to.

I’m not trying to change her, just understand what’s realistic, what I should do, and if there's any hope for us.

Any perspective would really help. I’m finding this really difficult.

Hey. I was wondering if anyone could give me advice on how to find someone. I’ve been on hinge for the last few months but I can’t seem to find any other Muslims who are looking for the same sort of thing.

For context, I am a born male (I feel like a female internally) who is attracted to males. I live in the UK. However due to personal reasons and considerations, I am staying as a male and not transitioning.

I was hoping to find a muslim male who is looking for a life partner/waiting for marriage but unfortunately I can’t seem to find it.

I feel like most lgbt muslim men on this app are looking for particularly masculine males and more hook up kind of things ; but idk this could just me my observation and may be incorrect.

Since I’m a female internally, I’m a feminine male - but I feel like not many lgbt muslim males are not looking for that.

I feel like I’m cursed to stay single forever and I won’t ever find anyone.

Could anyone offer some advice or suggestions?

Thanks for reading and best wishes

so I am wondering this because I'm uncomfortable talking with male people from past history.

I ONLY want to be FRIENDS. I don't know any other lesbian Muslims and would like to chat and just be friends in general.

I'm looking for someone close to my age

I'm 23 yr/old if this helps.

Hey guys, I(22f,lesbian) recently moved to Germany to pursue my masters and I would love to connect with fellow queer Muslims in Germany.

You might’ve seen my posts before so this will be my last attempt 😂

31M. From UK but hopefully moving to Canada this summer time isA (currently based in Tokyo for a short while)

Looking for a practicing spouse who is gay/asexual or hetero but happy to be with someone with these tendencies; <30 years (ideally Arabic speaking - not essential); based in Canada/ US or citizen of country on IEC Canada list (this is as I won’t be able to sponsor anyone if I move there as not Canadian) and be willing to move to Canada (for a few years)

I would say I’m mostly SSA but definitely also have OSA. I have never acted on my SSA and hoping to find a partner who has not either.

Financially stable. Masculine and straight passing. Really enjoy travelling.

I would really love to have a marriage based on honesty, respect and companionship without having to hide SSA. It would be amazing to have our own children. This would be a genuine marriage not a lavender marriage where each partner has same sex relations on the side. Hoping to grow together for this life and the next.

Of course sexual orientation isn’t enough to keep a marriage going (as very clearly evident from our fellow straight Muslims) so if the below applies to you - please drop a message and hopefully if there’s a connection we can take it from there!

Have had a few people kindly message, as not to waste anyone's time. A polite request, please do not message if:

1. You consider yourself 'non-practicing' (I am aware this means different things to different people but for example minimum 5 daily prayers, fast)(Being hijabi or not is not a big deal for me)

2. Looking for a cover-up type arrangement

3. You are not interested in having children through natural means.

If this post resonates with you please reach out!

Edit - if this is still up please don’t hesitate to message

Hello, looking for other Muslim men for long term relationship. 32yo here. Preferably In US and around my area, Texas. Hit me up. Prefer to get to know someone.