Lesbian situationship guidance
Hi everyone,
I (32F) would really appreciate some perspective on a complicated situation with someone I’m close to (30F). I'll preface by saying I love her completely and I know it’s mutual.
We were together a few years ago for about a year and broke up because our beliefs and life expectations didn’t align.
We’ve recently reconnected and the connection is still very strong. We talk a lot, spend time together, and recently became physically close again (cuddling and some chaste kissing). She’s told me things like I’m her soulmate, that she’s never found anything this easy, and that she feels completely safe and herself with me.
The difficulty is that she doesn’t feel able to be in a relationship with me because of her personal beliefs and the life path she feels she has to follow.
She’s said things like:
If it weren’t for religion, we would be together
She feels we are soulmates
She believes she will eventually need to follow a more traditional path (marriage), even though she doesn’t want that right now
She has tried to think of ways we could stay in each other’s lives, but worries it wouldn’t be fair to me long-term
(When I've raised that I feel like she's distanced/moved on) she never doubts that I love her because "you can't love someone to this level on intensity without it being reciprocated"
What I struggle with is that:
External factors (family, social circle, etc.) seem less of a barrier now than before
She knows people in similar situations who have made different choices
So the main barrier seems to be internal rather than practical
At the same time, we’re still very emotionally close, which makes it harder to step back.
I’m trying to figure out:
Is this something that can ever realistically change, or is it a fixed boundary?
Am I setting myself up to get hurt by staying this close?
How do people reconcile strong religious beliefs with same-sex relationships in cases like this?
I've also thought a lot about reverting. I would never revert for her, but it's something I keep coming back to.
I’m not trying to change her, just understand what’s realistic, what I should do, and if there's any hope for us.
Any perspective would really help. I’m finding this really difficult.