r/ChildrenofDeadParents

I lost my mom when I was 15 I am now 27, my grandma who I moved in with after my mom died 2 years later. My dad then died a year after my grandma. I’ve carried a lot of trauma and loss in my life and lately watching other people still have parents to call and be there for them has been hitting me really hard.

Today my husband was talking to his dad multiple times on the phone and out of nowhere I ended up quietly going to the other room crying myself to sleep in the middle of the day because the grief overwhelmed me.

I haven’t prayed in years because I honestly struggle with believing God cares about me after everything I’ve survived.

I guess I’m posting because I feel really alone and I just want to know if anyone else still grieves their parent deeply even years later. Does it ever actually get better?

This is more of a post for people who have had parents dead for more than 10 years.

My dad died when I was 14. It has been 29 years. He died of a sudden heart attack.

Recently, I’ve been having very vivid dreams lately. I know the mind is complex, but I just find it strange I’m having this type of dream this long into my journey.

Had a dream where I find out that my dad is actually still alive. Like he had his heart attack and went to the hospital and I found out that he actually didnt die, that he wanted to divorce my mom. And I’m mad at my entire extended family from hiding it from me instead of just letting me know the truth.

I know the many reasons why I might have such a dream. I’m just wondering, does anyone else experience this? Why is my subconscious doubting that he died or having some sort of hope that he’s alive?

My dad was a great man had a shitty life but was content with it I'm 16 he was 65 love you Dad.

3-13-61 to 5-11-26

I lost my dad in 2021. Back then my mom somehow held everything together for me and my brother even though she herself was broken inside. She had never worked before in her life, but after dad passed away she became strong, started working, managed the house, took care of us, and somehow kept the family going.

Her only dream was simple she wanted me to finish engineering, get a good job, hand over my first salary to her, and then she wanted to peacefully spend her life taking care of my grandparents.

That was literally all she wanted.

And now one month ago, I lost her too because of a sudden cardiac arrest.

I’m only 22 and I honestly feel lost in life. I stay in a hostel, and every night around this time I break down because this used to be the time I’d call my mom and talk to her for hours about my day. Now I still reach for my phone out of habit before realizing there’s nobody to call anymore.it

It was Mother’s Day few days ago and seeing everyone post pictures with their moms is honestly destroyed me inside. People don’t realize how empty life feels when the one person who made everything feel safe suddenly disappears.

I miss her coffee.

I miss her voice.

I miss her scoldings.

I miss her late-night talks.

I miss hearing her ask whether I ate food.

I miss home feeling like home.

I know life moves on, but right now I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to survive this kind of pain.

I'm 28 and to keep it brief -

I was taken by CPS from my birth parents at 8-months old. Though their visitation rights didn't last long, all memories I have from that are mortifying. By age 8, I was getting a knock on the door by police to tell me that my dad died by drug induced suicide. I had been estranged from my birth mom since I was roughly around 10 years old until she died from throat cancer 2 days before my 27th birthday. I struggle so badly with feeling like I don't belong anywhere, and especially when I try to integrate myself into a partners family. I am so hyper-vigilant and can see and feel that because I'm not blood, I am automatically treated differently and I'm not villainizing anyone for this, because on one hand I do get it, but on the other, I am fighting everyday to keep going because I feel so lonely. My extended family isn't much and they're mostly absent as well. My partner has suggested adult adoption but I'm weary about that. I'm so angry at my parents for doing this to me and I am fearful for the future because day-to-day feels so bleak and I can't imagine it getting much darker and surviving it. Can anyone else relate? Any advice? Anyone gone through adult adoption? Thanks so much.

For background, my mom died when I was 12. I’ve lived with my dad and stepmom since I was around 6. When I was younger, my dad sorta told me and my sister to call our stepmom “Mom,” so we did. But after our mom passed away, me and my sister slowly started calling our stepmom by her actual name instead, and nobody really mentioned it.

A few years later, though, my stepmom got drunk and started crying about how we don’t call her “Mom” and how she helped raise us. My dad also said he’d prefer if we called her “Mom,” but we honestly don’t really want to. It feels kind of disrespectful to our actual mom.

Is it really a bad thing that we don’t want to call our stepmom “Mom”?

it’s been one week since my mom passed away from cancer. she deteriorated so fast, it feels incomprehensible. i’m only 23, and my graduation is next week. i have her friends and our family members tell me that she just kept praying that she’ll make it to my big day. it hurts so bad, i have no idea how to proceed. i’m trying to accept it, and be strong but i can’t seem to grasp that this is for forever.

Hello, Sorry if this is not the good subreddit. TLDR my father died around a month ago, he was not sick, didn’t have an accident, he just died, ill skip the details but the death was brutal
I’m not making this post for advices for myself
I just want to know what to do with my mom, before my father died she was already struggling mentally (she wasn’t seeing a therapist or anything, I just thought there was something wrong with her. Maybe bipolarity? Something with strong emotions.)
I don’t know what to do and I don’t know if she’ll ever be happy again, I’m 18, I have a brother (25) and sisters (22,10,7)
I don’t have such a good relationship with her, and before the accidents I was considering cutting her out but now. I don’t know. I just feel helpless
I don’t know why I made this post sorry

I can’t stand it. Songs from my parents’ era reminds me of them. Songs from my childhood reminds of a time when they were alive, screaming at me that they’ll never breathe again and that time has passed and is long gone. Songs from modern day feel sad and melancholic even if it’s just the melodies and not the actual subject or they feel too giddy and unrealistic, like an idiot who hasn’t dealt with any real problems in life. I can’t stand music anymore. It’s too much. It’s an assault on my senses. I don’t want to be flooded with memories and sadness because it’s all a reminder of what I can’t have anymore and the hole that is the loss of them in my life. People wonder why I don’t like music- even the happy songs are too freaking much for me. I don’t even want to date a music lover because it just pisses me off to hear it all the time.