There was a discussion that sparked my interest: is it consent when you are just doing it for your partner, even if you are wanting to do it for them?
There was a survey response on what others considered to be SA. Of those polled, 13% said that the scenario of “Sage and Taylor have been in a relationship for two years. Sage asks Taylor for sex, who doesn't really feel like it. But Taylor wants to make Sage happy, and has sex with Sage anyway.” was SA.
I was shocked. I thought having sex to make your partner happy/offering sex was normal. I do it all the time. I don’t feel coerced, I just use my body to make my partner feel good in that moment.
But on a queer centric sub, quite a few people still felt this was SA.
I know non-sexual ace people who have sexual relations with their partners to make them feel good who don’t seem upset by this. One person stated that even with consent, it’s still SA, because it’s not enthusiastic. This was a highly upvoted comment.
Have I been understanding consent poorly?