u/venusasaboy22

The other day I was really upset, I'm from Greece but had a pretty tough time there with something... Not really trans related, just something tough. So my parents said we'll stay in Holland for a while. It's weird because in Holland, nobody knows I'm trans and I thought that passing would make me feel better but I always worry that if someone finds out I wasn't always a girl.

So I've been feeling really down, between what happened and the worrying and this doesn't solve everything but I told my mom I'm not even a real girl, what's the fucking point? And so to comfort me, she asked if butterflies aren't really butterflies because they started life as caterpillars... Oh my God I fucking cried so much, she has no idea how comforting that it.

I suppose if anyone here feels like they're not really a girl, or not really a boy, for trans men, maybe you could think about that caterpillar and butterfly thing for comparison?

So, my parents talked me out of an... Attempt, a few weeks ago.

So, we've moved to Holland, planning to stay moving to Holland. It would be something fresh and they've been really sweet to me. I'm the "conscription ruined my life person", I know these posts are annoying, don't have to read it. I'll try not to repeat myself.

I am a trans woman, I've always looked very girly, even back then, but wasn't out and honestly, I think being trans is irrelevant. I know many people who were way more masculine and still broke, from the dehumanization they felt there. I'm Greek, by the way. I've kind of gone scorched earth on most friendships, relationships, because outside of my parents- Who both spent time in the military- And my brother, almost everyone I know either pressured me to go, romanticized it, or both. I think my partner rebranded herself as someone who always understood, but lately, I've been reflecting and, well, she wasn't.

This is the one who'd send me cutesy magazine articles on doing it long distance, took selfies with her "army boyfriend", made TikToks, and my parents were the ONLY people to ever ask, am I okay with going? Do I want some help getting an exemption? I succumbed to the pressure from everyone else, but they eventually intervened to get me out. I remember how humiliated I felt when this very motherly officer stupidly wanted to surprise me on our anniversary, so had my girlfriend come visit. And how I hated her seeing me in that state, or with no hair, and I felt ill.

So, look, I'm ripping up the stupid cards about what this year taught her about us, and how proud she is of me. She said the uniform looks cool and asked for one of the spare shirts, I'll be asking for it back to rip or burn with the rest of the military stuff. I'm genuinely angry. I know she regrets it now but I just fucking hated it, how nearly everyone, if they didn't pressure me directly, thought this was... What, cute? It was a disgusting year.

This is probably the worst one I've done.

I'm Greek. Here, we have conscription, I'm trans but wasn't out at the time. Like, I didn't hate it because of the trans thing, I just feel like conscription is generally a very abusive concept, it's not fair. I'll admit, look, I was already a very girly boy, and yeah, that didn't help.

I wanted to break even, with the military, for ruining my life. Most of the officers weren't cruel, they were just THERE. Hell, most were kind to me. But if this was abusive, then if you weren't a victim, you were either an abuser, or an enabler. I decided to do it myself, not waiting for any formal complaints, since some of them, I couldn't really say they did anything "wrong." The man who decided I got sent to the border, I reached out to his daughter and she won't talk to him now, she views him as a trafficker. The guy who did most of the training, I left fake reviews on a restaurant he owns, convinced some of my friends to do the same, it got shut down and he had to go back to the military full time instead of the reserves.

I ended up having a seizure from the length of the shifts I was having to do, whilst also sleep deprived. I knew who assigned me those hours, young guy and he's married to someone else in the military. Look...

She cheated on him. With me. He'd spend weeks at a time at the border, she was a few hours away, we got talking on Instagram, she had a similar role where she was based and I maybe treated it as a two for the price of one. he knows now and I frankly don't know what happened to their relationship, I know it was a shitty thing to do. That's it.

This is probably the worst one I've done.

I'm Greek. Here, we have conscription, I'm trans but wasn't out at the time. Like, I didn't hate it because of the trans thing, I just feel like conscription is generally a very abusive concept, it's not fair. I'll admit, look, I was already a very girly boy, and yeah, that didn't help.

I wanted to break even, with the military, for ruining my life. Most of the officers weren't cruel, they were just THERE. Hell, most were kind to me. But if this was abusive, then if you weren't a victim, you were either an abuser, or an enabler. I decided to do it myself, not waiting for any formal complaints, since some of them, I couldn't really say they did anything "wrong." The man who decided I got sent to the border, I reached out to his daughter and she won't talk to him now, she views him as a trafficker. The guy who did most of the training, I left fake reviews on a restaurant he owns, convinced some of my friends to do the same, it got shut down and he had to go back to the military full time instead of the reserves.

I ended up having a seizure from the length of the shifts I was having to do, whilst also sleep deprived. I knew who assigned me those hours, young guy and he's married to someone else in the military. Look...

She cheated on him. With me. He'd spend weeks at a time at the border, she was a few hours away, we got talking on Instagram, she had a similar role where she was based and I maybe treated it as a two for the price of one. he knows now and I frankly don't know what happened to their relationship, I know it was a shitty thing to do. That's it.

Potential trigger, just a heads up. Mentioning stuff like abuse.

Fuck it, been going scorched earth on almost everyone I know anyway so I'll get this one off my chest.

Mandatory military service ruined my life and my parents, bless them, were the ONLY people who told me from the beginning that I don't have to go, and they'll help me leave. They actually both spent years there. We're Greek, for context. So I gave in to encouragement from lots of other people and I swear to God, I never want to see my partner's parents or grandparents again. She feels the same. She romanticized it herself, made stupid TikToks about it, but I've been trying to forgive her but I've been back a year, worst year of my life.

I just remember, like... Okay, one of the times I'm home on leave and get a smiley face text from her mother telling me to drop my uniform by the house, she'll wash it and iron it for me, I swear, the amount of times I'd get them asking how I'm getting on "In the army", I fucking hat referring to it as that, I was never "In" the military, I was used by it.

I get that shit, then crap from her grandparents about how I'm always welcome to drop by on the weekends if I want to relax or if I want a bath, her stupid grandfather wanting to tell me stories about the time he spent there and bond with me over something, his parents would do the same, I remember starting and them sending me a card about they're proud of me... I feel like everyone fawned over me, I'm trans now but even before that I looked like a femboy, people thought I was smart and pretty and well you know what? They have LOST me. If me and her ever do get married, I've made it clear to them, they are NOT getting to have a loving daughter in law, that's fucking over. Whatever they thought of me, the love on my end is gone.

And also, just this weird fucking cultish behaviour. When I started there, they were all crying and logically, I thought it was because they would miss me. No, it was that they were proud of me.

Potential trigger, just a heads up. Mentioning stuff like abuse.

Fuck it, been going scorched earth on almost everyone I know anyway so I'll get this one off my chest.

Mandatory military service ruined my life and my parents, bless them, were the ONLY people who told me from the beginning that I don't have to go, and they'll help me leave. They actually both spent years there. We're Greek, for context. So I gave in to encouragement from lots of other people and I swear to God, I never want to see my partner's parents or grandparents again. She feels the same. She romanticized it herself, made stupid TikToks about it, but I've been trying to forgive her but I've been back a year, worst year of my life.

I just remember, like... Okay, one of the times I'm home on leave and get a smiley face text from her mother telling me to drop my uniform by the house, she'll wash it and iron it for me, I swear, the amount of times I'd get them asking how I'm getting on "In the army", I fucking hat referring to it as that, I was never "In" the military, I was used by it.

I get that shit, then crap from her grandparents about how I'm always welcome to drop by on the weekends if I want to relax or if I want a bath, her stupid grandfather wanting to tell me stories about the time he spent there and bond with me over something, his parents would do the same, I remember starting and them sending me a card about they're proud of me... I feel like everyone fawned over me, I'm trans now but even before that I looked like a femboy, people thought I was smart and pretty and well you know what? They have LOST me. If me and her ever do get married, I've made it clear to them, they are NOT getting to have a loving daughter in law, that's fucking over. Whatever they thought of me, the love on my end is gone.

And also, just this weird fucking cultish behaviour. When I started there, they were all crying and logically, I thought it was because they would miss me. No, it was that they were proud of me.

My brother asked my dad today how he never cuts himself shaving, I don't think I've seen my dad with a beard in years myself. But yeah I just overhear this, he told my brother my mom does it for him, that years ago, he said he always worries about cutting himself and mentioned it to her and she said, what if I do it for you?

Now, my parents are both young. This isn't an elderly thing (Although that would be real sweet too, don't get me wrong), but liek, they met... I think my dad was 18, she was 21, got married within months, had me and then him not long after, they genuinely fancy each other, they have crushes on each other and it shows, a lot, but there are so many things with them in terms of physical touch that are nothing sexual but just really really lovely and I don't know how to explain it, but I asked my mom about that shaving thing earlier and she said it's one of her favourite parts of the morning.

In the evenings, he'll do her bath or face mask too, my mom does modelling and in the past few years, she put on weight and felt a bit down about it recently, but he told her she looks like a renaissance painting, that she's even prettier, they's both so fucking adorable 😭