u/sucesosincomodos

At this point I have already accepted sex will never be a possibility for me, but I feel this obsession over preventing other women from getting it. I've always envied my sister, but I also respected her. However, after she became pregnant, I think I lost all respect for her. I think my ideal world would be a bit like the society in Brave New World but without the fucked up stuff: everybody is born from incubators, no one has babies. But I'd like to add that no one is having sex. In fact, men and women should be separated since birth and be unaware of the concept of each other and of the concept of sex. The only people able to feel attraction in that environment would be gay people, but this doesn't make me jealous, so it doesn't bother me.

i also recovered and somehow im still emetophobic, i guess i don't care when i'm the one inducing it?

I have no connection to my dad's side of the family because most of them assume my mom married for the Spanish citizenship, even my half sister. Do you guys relate?

sometimes i think im horribly ugly, sometimes i feel like im mid, sometimes i feel like im pretty, i don't know what i feel about myself. i must say i only feel pretty when i center my expectations around my own race and do not compare myself to white women, but i feel like maybe im hyping myself up too much. like ive even been compared to a monkey, been fake asked out, etc typical racist bullying experiences. so id like to know whether im ugly regardless of how i look at it or if im only undesirable according to eurocentric beauty standards. i feel like this really messes with the perception one has of oneself. is anybody going through anything similar 😞

I used to think I had this problem with all teen boys but I'm realizing it's only white ones. I'm 18, I've already graduated from school but whenever I see a group of white guys from ages, like, 13-20, at a store or something, I straight up walk out. I'm a brown girl who grew up in Europe and is living in Europe, I suffered a lot of bullying from them and am still afraid they're going to mock me or make fun of me. I have never heard of a 18-year old man making fun of a 17-year old girl but I guess it's what I get... Have had "monkey" said to me, a racist word said by a group of them, had pens and paper balls thrown at me by guys trying to impress white girls, have been asked out as a joke, etc... So I automatically believe they want make fun of me.