r/mixedrace

For example, when people say stupid stuff like you can only say half of the n-word? Or that you're not "black enough" and can't comment on those discussions? Once on 'diversity day', I wore a kanga and people came up to me asking why am I wearing that 🙃

I'm mixed black african and white british but raised by single mum (white) and her family so I can feel a bit disconnected from my culture at the best of times. It doesn't help that I haven't met my dad, but it just really bothers me when people at school feel like they can decide how black I am 😭

Any tips on responding to these comments and maybe also getting in touch with a culture that feels super out of reach?

cut a girl off because they asked who was white, my mom or my dad.

And most already know this is an infamous question for people looking to determine how much respect they should give you.

Sometimes it’s harmless, but when it’s harmless it’s almost never phrased this way.

It’s a popular question from mono-racial black women especially and it kinda kills my motivation to keep talking to them after that.

Basically they’re hoping on your mom being black as the determining factor of who you are as a person. It’s annoying; I had more patience for that type of crap when I was a kid. Not as an adult.

Don’t get me wrong I love black women, just not the ones that are obsessed with things like this.

No real point to this post, just kinda venting because I don’t date very often at all. Which makes the bull crap all the more disappointing.

I could extend my thoughts on this further and some might relate, but I don’t feel like typing a short novel.

Hey Yall!

A while back, I saw a lecture regarding the misuse of white passing when people mean white presenting. I've been using "white passing" most of my life, so was not even aware of the term "white presenting".

Apparently:

White Passing = Being mixed and choosing to live as a white person

White Presenting = Being mixed and just looking like a white person

I haven't really seen anyone really using the term "white presenting", but in that context, that's what I identify with (half mex/half euro mutt).

Have yall heard of the difference? And if so, have yall been using whichever you identify as correct?

Thanks! And I'm super stoked on having this community of people to talk to!

I feel like it’s such a rare mix. In my whole life I’ve only known one other family personally, and the dad was friends with my dad (Asian).

I’m tired of people constantly assuming where I’m from and always getting it wrong.

When I try to explain my background, people either think I’m lying or assume I’m insecure about it, which isn’t the case. What bothers me is being constantly categorized into groups I don’t belong to and at the same time, not being recognized by any of them. It also comes with stereotypes being projected onto me that don’t fit my origins.The worst places I’ve experienced this so far have been the UK and Ireland.
How do you deal with this kind of situation?

I don’t know how to explain this really

But my mom is white Swedish and my dad Black from Ghana.

He left very early

My mom is a very ”socially aware” white woman. Don’t know what word to use really

But she puts up all kinds of pictures of black people we have no relation to in the apartment and African art.
And she’s constantly watching movies about racism or some kind of social injustice.

It’s like she’s constantly trying to prove to herself how non bigoted she is.
And it feels like she may have had me in order to further tell herself how much she approves of black people

I don’t know if what I said makes sense,
But it’s a very uncomfortable and dehumanising feeling

Like I’m a tool for her ego or something

Would love to talk to others with similar experiences

Sorry in advance for the length of the post.

For context, I’m a biracial (Black/white) Latina. I’m Dominican, and appearance-wise I have a light-brown skin, 3b hair, and features that most people read as mixed. (The closest celeb match is Manon) Because of that, when people ask what I am, I usually just say Dominican. I don’t always mention being biracial unless they specifically ask about my race—I’ve always assumed it was obvious, and most people treat it that way.

Growing up, though, my identity wasn’t that simple. In high school, I had a bit of an identity crisis. I’m U.S.-born, don’t speak Spanish, and wasn’t raised closely with my Dominican side, so I already felt disconnected from it. At the same time, my other parent is white, but I’ve never been perceived as white, so I didn’t feel connected to that either. As a kid, I just said I was half white, half Dominican. It wasn’t until high school that I learned the difference between race and ethnicity—and also realized that many Dominicans don’t strongly identify with race at all. That definitely shaped how I saw myself.

By the end of high school, I became comfortable identifying as a biracial Latina. That felt like the most accurate way to describe both my background and my lived experience. Still, in everyday life, I usually just say I’m Dominican. Not because I’m hiding anything, but because being biracial isn’t really a “culture” to me, and most people either assume my race or don’t ask.

Recently, though, I had an experience that made me question how others perceive this. I was getting to know a group of people—two Black individuals and one Latino. Over about five months, they only ever asked about my ethnicity, not my race. I assumed they understood I was biracial based on how I look, like most people do. But it turns out they were treating “Latina” as my race.

One of the women in the group took issue with my identity. She told me I wasn’t Black and didn’t belong in the Black community at all because I’m Latina. That confused me, because I never claimed to be anything other than biracial. She also said I had “Latina features,” but couldn’t clearly explain what that meant. It felt like she had already decided what I was and wasn’t, without really listening to me.

Looking back, I wonder if she thought I was hiding my Blackness or only claiming it when convenient. I can understand how she might have had past experiences that shaped that perspective. But that’s not what I was doing—I just don’t typically announce my race unless it comes up.

So I guess what I’m really asking is how do y’all move through life knowing people basically think you’re racist for simply existing as a mixed person? Like it really feels damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Some people think if you say you’re biracial it’s because you’re trying to prove something and if you don’t it’s because you’re hiding it.

TO NOTE: I did use AI to help this sound more coherent because it was really hard to put my thoughts into words.

that would also apply for applies to mixed black combos of any races and shade ya ? i don’t think people discuss how mixed black people with a poc or mgm parent should have their respective roles and not have to play roles meant for darkskin ppl either. i know some blasians in hollywood have talked about issues finding roles for their background. and i think this goes back to ppl who ain’t black/white (first gen) biracial being overrepresented on this sub.

what do you guys think ?

Just to know.

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It’s bad enough that people dislike Black people but at least acknowledge Black history and how it applies today. Even more annoying having to correct everyone and then they just don’t care 🥴…especially nonBlack people (looking at you White Latinos/Hispanics).

Yeah, I’m aware it’s a trending lexicon. No one is dismissing your existence nor experience with being white presenting. Just know that if you’re letting people know about your nonWhite background, you’re not “passing”.

EDIT: Passing is a connotation to hiding Blackness (or in a broader case, your nonWhite background).

Presenting is when you acknowledge being phenotypically white while making people aware of your nonWhite heritage.

Assumed is when people think you’re “fully” or “mostly (like more than 3/4 genetic wise ig)” white upon first glance.

https://youtu.be/j9cZvZ8qQAA?si=JFrUo1VJfLQa4mZ0

I don't want to come off as racist, but from what I'm aware of, Latino is not an ethnicity or race but rather refers to people who come from a Latin American country. But if it's not a race, why do people of Latin American descent tend to have different features and darker skin (eg I see a lot of Latinos online calling themselves brown) in comparison to white people? I understand that there can be white Latinos and black Latinos, but what is the term used to refer to "brown" Latinos? Are they just counted as mixed? Is there no proper term? From what I understand Latin America has a very complex history with colonialism and slavery, which resulted in destroying the native and indigenous people of some countries?

I really don't have ill intentions with this question; I'm just confused. Could someone help clarify?

Edit: Fixed grammar

I'm half Filipina and Irish and Italian. I confuse a lot of people. I get mistaken for being Hispanic especially.. I can be pale or very tan and have dark hair, brown eyes, and freckles.

Once in high school I had classmates argue about my race as I walked up the stairs "that girl was white..", "no she was oriental"... turns out they were both right...

Even recently a guy was hitting on me and asked "so are you Mediterranean or just white with dark hair?" 🤣🤣🤣

For starters, I want to talk about anyone who is half Asian in this group. This goes for Black/Asian, White/Asian, Latino/Asian, and other half Asians.

When we talk about biracials, we only talk about part White and we need to break that stigma..it’s not always part White.

Lately, I’ve been seeing a rise of Wasians claiming that “No one understands them” and basically being a poster child of biracials for Asians. Every topic of discussion has always been the center of “being mixed race is difficult no one understands me” but at the same time ignoring other half Asians…who are no where near White proximity.

I’m glad that Laufey is representing her Wasians side, but she is doing it the wrong way. Not once have I heard spoke out for us that are left behind due to colorism and Western Beauty standards.

So it makes me question, if she ever bothered asking Blasians, Lasians, or any non Asian/part Asian our experience. Because honestly we would’ve supported her. All of us could’ve educated everyone around the world that we do exist.

It’s just weird, how she only wants to include only Wasians and that’s it.

I’m not going to lie, yalls community is getting really weird and not in a good way.

Let’s keep it respectful because we need to have this conversation. Seriously.

I’m 75% white, 25% black and have always viewed myself as mixed race. Because I went to a school with almost no diversity, I was always perceived as just black, but as I’ve grown older, people tend to view me as all different things, Hispanic, “tanned white person“, Italian, etc. I have people say things like: “Omg, I can’t believe you’re black! Can you believe it?!“ or “You’re not reeaaally black.” People act surprised and shocked when I tell them I’m mixed race, as if it’s some sort of crime to be black.

I work in the medical field and I remember sitting with one of my patients looking at a wedding magazine with her, and she was fawning over all the dresses and couples, and then she turned the page to a mixed race couple and she said: “Isn’t that just sick!” I told her it wasn’t nice to say things like that. I’m assuming she thought I was white.

Another incident happened where this patient hadn’t been speaking to his previous nurse (who was black) and she said he had been problematic all day, refusing meds, not speaking, etc. I walked into the room to greet him at shift change, and he goes “You’re white, I’ll speak to you. I wasn’t speaking to the other one because she was black.” I was absolutely horrified by what I heard and again, told him it wasn’t nice to say things like that about people. He went on to be extremely kind to me my entire shift. It was really just… sad.

I feel like as someone who is white passing, we have a bizarre perspective because we get a firsthand look at how racist people can be when they don’t think black people are around, if that makes sense. It’s hard to deal with.

Hello to all the beautiful confused people on this sub !

I'm mixed with Levantine heritage (father from Lebanon) and white European (French Mother)

My dad got very obsessed with "integrating" when my sister and I grew up and stopped speaking to us in arabic very early.

We used to visit Lebanon during the summer holidays but it stopped, then life happened etc.

I used to be very detached from my lebanese heritage.

in 2019 I spent a few month there and took some arabic classes.

Kept learning by myself for a few more months and now I'm barely practicing. my level is A2+ I'd say.

everytime I meet someone who speaks levantine Arabic i get super nervous (like today, new colleague is from Syria) and it's like my brain freezes and I forget everything and mix all the languages I know (french/english/spanish/German and Arabic lol) and my brain turns into mush and I feel super ashamed to not be able to hold an actual adult conversation in the language of my second country.

I hold the litteral nationality of this country and can't speak the language. that makes me feel so embarrassed and so sad. I feel like a fraud and I feel incomplete and I feel like ill never belong anywhere.

anyone else relating in any sort of way ?

please make me feel better or normal lol

thank you

I know a guy in real life that I fell out with due to his racism. I was very hurt. I saw him on grindr so messaged the guy calling him insecure and a racist. He replied back using some very racial slur. I've reported the account and I think it got banned. I'm debating whether I should contact his workplace with the screenshot or would that be an overkill and possibly backfire? What do you guys think.

Edit: Racist hate toward mixed raced people are ignored in our society so it's easy for mixed people to feel isolated. So, I want to thank everyone for reading this and responding to it.

We are heading into the weekend, what plans do you have?

This is for discussion on general topics and doesn't have to be related to mixed race ones.