u/stingwhale

I see this a lot with autism, people will only talk about “superpower” autism and people with low support needs and high ability to mask. That’s not even the majority of people with autism. Stop saying that just because one autistic person can do something it means all autistic people can do that thing, it’s a spectrum for a reason and it is a real disability.

It comes up with mental illness too, people will mainly stick to talking about anxiety and depression and completely skip over severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia and the more severe levels of PTSD seem to get overlooked by a lot of people. Not every mentally ill person is capable of functioning independently, and many of them have poor insight into their condition meaning that controlling their behavior is significantly harder for them.

This is mainly because I used to work in inpatient neurobehavioral/psych and the people I saw there were on a completely different level than the way people typically talk about neurodivergence and mental illness. Like I saw people who didn’t understand bathing and ate their own poop, people who attacked others and felt like they had no control over it, people who were unable to hold down jobs or keep a roof over their head through absolutely no fault of their own, basically I saw the reality of severe avolition and extreme trauma reactions and I feel that the parts of mental illness and neurodivergence that are outside of the persons control because they actually have high SUPPORT NEEDS get completely overlooked. I feel like people don’t want to acknowledge that there are people who actually need significant support and can’t control themselves.

Someone made a post that they were sad that Billie Eilish is dating a man and “so many of our only forms of representation are dating men” and that they “need more iconic WLW couples”. I commented that this seemed biphobic to me and they got mad which makes sense but I can’t tell if it comes across biphobic to other people or if I’m just too woke. Thoughts?

My reasoning is that the love lives of actual humans aren’t really rep the same way it would be for a fictional character and it kind of feels like they’re saying a bisexual woman not being a lesbian is disappointing. They argued that saying something makes them sad doesn’t mean they’re disappointed by it but I feel like those are pretty similar things. Idk.

I envy people who still think all illnesses can be cured, all injuries will heal, all disabilities can be “overcome” with the right attitude or the right supplement. I’m also baffled by them. I don’t understand how you look at the world and people around you and remain convinced all problems resolve themselves.

I don’t understand what makes certain people seemingly just immune to believing there are problems that are permanent that you just have to learn to live with and are strongly impacted by no matter what. It seems like no matter what problems you have there’s still someone who just happens to know someone with the same disability as you who just happened to have easily overcome whatever challenges you have so obviously you can too. Why do you believe that one person when they say they’re totally fine but not believe me when I say I’m not?

One of the biggest areas this comes up for me is with driving which I find absolutely bonkers. I am epileptic, it’s not under control and hasn’t been for 10 years. That’s not changing anytime soon. But people will still try to push me to learn to drive because they know someone else who is epileptic and just pulls to the side of the road when they have an aura and apparently that’s fine.

Well I have mostly absence seizures that I can’t predict, first off, so that’s not gonna work. But second off just because someone else is willing to risk it all to get on the road doesn’t mean I am!!!

Not everyone gets to overcome every damn problem. Not everyone gets their symptoms or seizures under control. Not everyone learns to drive or holds down a job. Not everyone gets better!!!

It’s happened on this subreddit, not to call anyone out but I had a person say I must be self loathing because I didn’t want to tell strangers in Texas that I prefer they/them pronouns in private. I’m not even sure if I’m nonbinary, I just happen to be a person who prefers gender neutral language over gendered language.

It also happened on the epilepsy subreddit, I mentioned that I don’t want to tell strangers or coworkers I’m epileptic unless it’s 100% necessary and someone said “what are you trying to hide? Don’t be ashamed of yourself” and that was completely looney to me.

It has happened to me irl, but 90% of it comes from my elderly aunt for some reason. Girl, you’re 87 and raised in Texas why are you not understanding why a Texas lesbian might be a bit private?

It’s probably just the way I was raised but I grew up under the general rule that unless someone needs to know something about you then it’s not important for you to share that about yourself. Like I don’t lie and tell people I’m straight or have a seizure in front of someone and then try to gaslight them into thinking it didn’t happen. I’m not hiding, I’m just not giving everyone all the information about me unless it’s
relevant and feels safe to do so.

I feel like relevancy is a really big part of the issue for me. I don’t think my sexuality or pronouns are relevant to most situations and I don’t want to talk to people about it unless it’s relevant. I also think people should have to prove they’re deserving of this information about me and will be respectful, open minded, and most importantly safe to talk to. Like you’re not owed access to my personal life if I know you’re going to gossip, talk shit to me, get aggressive, or even potentially hurt me.