u/simply_fucked

Before is turns into full blown panic and breakdown, coming here to talk about it and taking Ativan to help, something i only do rarely if i really need it. Here are my notes, i like to write what i feel for therapy.

Took .5 of Ativan tue may 12th 2026 for anxiety. 5pm-5:20pm ish

Symptoms:

Racing thoughts

Shaking

Muscle fatigue and brain fog due to not getting much sleep the past week or so (only got a few hrs the night prior)

Fast hear rate

Not being able to nap after taking deep breaths, laying down, trying to relax

Nausea

Can't sit still

Need to eat so my stomach feels empty as well

This is typical anxiety for me. Trying to just sit and calm down, maybe nap. I think its a combination of stress, sleep deprivation, general worry, and ocd triggers. Anyway, how are you guys today, what makes you feel better when you feel anxious?

I dream almost every night, have sunce i was a kid, and a lot of the time ill see something from my real life casually in a dream. I had a dream about nail polish about a week ago, i absolutely love nail polish. Pass something while driving, like a new store? Ill see in it my dream that night. Buy something random and non important from the store? Ill see it in my dream. See someone i havent seen in a while? Ill dream about them, same night.

My dreams also often have ocd triggers in them (im diagnosed), like certain animals and contamination triggers, or certain scenarios or upsetting places, which makes exposure therapy really hard.

I also dream often about people i havent seen in YEARS. Theres one person i dream about often who i havent seen in almost 5-6, maybe longer, years. Its its always random, they r just syanding there and im like, oh, its you, and then maybe we talk and laugh and flirt, and then thats it.

On that note, i have sexual dreams more frequently than the average person. Randomly having sex with someone, walking up to people and touching them after i realize im lucid (i often am lucid). Flirting with people, watching others have sex, etc. They started more often when i was about 13, and have gotten less common now that im 20, but they still happen often.

I also have dreams a lot about self harm.

"I walked into a hospital really needing help about some deep slashes in my arm from attempting suicide. Woman asked me if I needed help or if I needed to stay and I said no and walked away, but I kept looking at her trying to get her attention by following her and watching her because I knew I needed to stay and needed help, I continued to walk around the hospital though, no one said anything to me."

This is from a while ago, they usually happen something like this.

After finding out that someone super close to me was self harming, i had this dream:

"Had a dream where I could see how deep and where (person) cut, but it was both their thighs and one arm and I freaked out and they started smiling and thought it was funny."

I also had a dream about that person hurting me in a similar way after that.

I have dreams where someone is physically 2 people at once, and sounds like a third? Or looks like someone and sounds different, or isnt recognizable, but i also just *know* who they are, like i can feel it?

Its late and im tired so idk how much sense all this makes, but anyway, i just wanted to talk about it.

Anything i can do also to preserve battery? I got the BT version cause im never really away from my phone anyway. Its always on me. Ik about AOD, but ive heard some displays can eat up battery? Any tips help. Thnx.

How does yours look after a while of having it? Also, should i get a screen protector? Might get one tmrw idk