u/iamaprolol

Do I need an instructor?

Hi everyone, I am 26 F I have driven with an instructor before or with someone else, like my family member and gotten my license. However, I have moved to a different country and the rule are obviously different. Its been 3 years since I have last driven. I tried to get an instructor but she literally made me nervous. I feel unable to drive at all now. I am looking for another instructor but all the good ones are fully booked. I don't want to go through the same thing again. So I have decided to do it myself with a family member and start driving in isolated areas and then go into a bit of traffic. However, I feel very anxious. Do I need an instructor or should I give it a shot again? I have never had any major incidents when driving without instructor. I just went slightly on curb when taking a turn and that set me off.

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u/iamaprolol — 13 hours ago

Support work before graduate program starts

Hi everyone my grad program starts in 3 months and I recieved an offer to work as a support worker casually ( full time hours based on availability). I have never done support work before due to the anxiety of being alone and an emergency happening to a client. This job is a team job. There will be another support worker working with me.

Can I work as a support worker as a grad RN with registration as RN? Can I give meds while I am working as a support worker?

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u/iamaprolol — 1 day ago

Good Mahrams in our life - appreciation post

Assalamualaikum everyone,

Please share some of the good qualities you appreciate of Muslims in your life or something they have done to uplift you.

If you are a man, about your mom, sister, your wife or even a potential.

If you are a woman, about your dad, brother or husband or even a potential.

This is in light to spread positive outlook for people struggling with bad marriages and toxic family members, so they know the standard they should look for and also know there are good people. Also I want to combat narratives spread on social media that can cause hate and negativity.

I appreciate your time. JazakAllah khair.

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u/iamaprolol — 2 days ago

Good muslim men appreciation post

Assalamalaikum everyone,

I just wanted to ask all the girlies to post some of the qualities of some good men in your lives (like your father, brother, husband, uncle or even potentials etc.) or something they did for you, as we mostly come across really heartbreaking stories about toxic households and men.

I had come across a man who was a potential, he was very respectful and serious about marriage. He opened up to me about some things he was struggling with and even though I was okay with it he wanted me to ask my parents about it. My parents did not accept that, and I informed him of the same. He was very respectful and wished me the best. Did not continue with any unnecessary contact. I found that very respectful and it really made me feel warm lol. I hope he is doing well.

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u/iamaprolol — 3 days ago

Feeling extreme resentment towards my family and myself

Hi everyone, I have been here quite a bit.

So I used to live in a different state. I had been very happy there and told my family as well. I used to live alone and was completing my education. I wanted to stay there as I had a job temporarily. My sibling also lived in the same country as me and my parents live in another country. They forced me to move in with my sibling because it will be safer for me. It has been 6 months now. I was jobless and now found a job that starts in Aug. I can't help but resent everyone on my life including me. Them for forcing me to move and myself for listening to them. I am having tawakkul and I am trying to have sabr but I just cannot stand them.

This gets worse if me and my sibling have disagreements or arguments. I used to be independent, alone and have great time by myself going out whenever I wanted because the public transport was great. Now I am stuck in this city where my home is super far from city.

I am miserable every single day. My mother doesn't understand this and keeps saying to think about the positives. I cannot even go back now as I don't have money and I have my job here.

I am learning to drive but I hate it. After several years I had felt happy living there and was looking forward to each day. Now I don't. I don't even want to wake up. I dont think therapy will help either tbh and I don't want to go.

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u/iamaprolol — 3 days ago

Finally! I have an offer.

Hi everyone, I used to read posts here as an unemployed grad. I had recieved a 'ghost offer' and left all other opportunities to pursue that as I didn't know it was a ghost offer. I got wait-listed.

Later I kept applying to other places. I was extremely heart broken and saw no way out. But finally I recieved an offer to start in Aug. I am really excited.

It was a miracle tbh. Miracles do happen and you will get a job no matter how impossible it seems. Keep trying. I hope you land an amazing position. All the best!!!

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u/iamaprolol — 4 days ago

Would I be wrong to be honest with my family

Assalamualaikum girlies. I alhamdulillah after 6 months of hopelessness got a job. Yayyy!!! This was entirely from Allah and everyones dua as it was a miracle. Anyways, so I had moved to a different state where I graduated because my parents insisted and I did not want to becausi had income in my previous state. My parents and sibling were sure I would get a job and did not listen to me. If I had denied moving then it would be a huge argument.

I suffered a lot mentally from this. I was very independent but after moving here I was completely dependent on my sibling. He paid for my education and everything I am grateful for that. But I was very unhappy with the decision of moving here.

After I got a job, my parents said it was from Allah that I moved here and that is why I got the job. However, as much me moving here is from Allah I think we should have had a discussion.

I reminded them that indeed Allah saved me. But initial decision of me moving here was really hard on me. Would I be wrong and disrespectful for speaking the truth?

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u/iamaprolol — 12 days ago

Hi everyone,

This is the format I used for my resume that I built based on the advice from this thread and actually landed a grad program. I have published it in a form of a resume guideline for grads. Some things I would like to add:

  1. This is not an ATS friendly version. (I might post one soon but honestly I have not used it)

  2. You can add a career statement/ objective but it is completely optional (many advised against it). If you include one, make sure you write less than 100 words max. Ensure you address the organizations values and how you meet them in brief manner.

  3. Adding as many skills as you can as a graduate but they have to be in technical words.

  4. Ensure you resume is relevant to the graduate program you are applying for. For example, if I am applying to a mental health graduate program I would keep my MSEs and de-escalation of top.

  5. Using technical terms ( for example dysphagia, altered diet etc)

  6. If you have an AHPRA no. put it up there.

  7. Use action verbs in your work experience section

  8. Ensure there are no spelling mistakes, formatting errors, or use of AI. Reread to make sure.

Lastly, I am happy if anyone else wants to add something or correct me. Hope this helps some way.

I wish everyone all the best for their search!!!

u/iamaprolol — 13 days ago

Hi everyone, how is Mater Private for Graduate nurses. Especially neuroscience? Anyone who completed their grad program there? What should one be prepared for? thank you.

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u/iamaprolol — 19 days ago

Hi eeveryone, I used to drive in my home country given with an instructor but I was pretty confident even with a manual car. I moved to a new country and the road rules are different. I am also learning to drive an automatic car. The problem is I have not driven for 2 years. I was confident but recently I took a driving lesson to assess my learning and the instructor was not helpful at all. For example, she maybe subconciously kept messing with the peddles and once steered the car to the curb. She also said at one point "how could I have possibly even driven in my home country and got my licence since my driving was this bad?" I was very nervous and she just kept yelling at me at random times. Also I am not used to power steerings. I now cannot even look at a car without feeling sick at the thought of driving it. After this incident I lost all confidence and in my anxiety literally forgot which peddle does what. The car that I am planning to use is very wide and has understeer. I dont know what to do. Any tips or success stories would help. I am just afraid I will hurt someone and damage another car. Thank you.

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u/iamaprolol — 20 days ago

Hi everyone, I am international so I am not sure how to go about this. I go to gym in a supposedly rougher area. At night while leaving, I saw a man with a hoodie and cap walk into the parking lot. He was bent down like he was trying not to be seen. He went around just looking at all cars up close and left. He looked at me but I was with my brother and no one else was around. I feel there might have been an ill intent here. I happened to be with my brother I am just afraid someone else might be alone or not attentive enough.

Should I report this to the gym like " hi I saw someone here yesterday looking over the cars and they were acting suspicious."? Is there anything else I can do? Would I look like I am over reacting? Thanks.

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u/iamaprolol — 21 days ago

Recently I saw something which made me realize how much we make culture our priority rather than islam.

Divorce: people often end staying in bad or abusive marriages because of what will people say. Tbh women are often asked to compromise. However, I have seen men who struggle as well as they cannot meet extreme demands. We are asked to have patience when there is a recommended solution. Also, many families don't research enough about the potential spouse before marriage. I had a an alim once say woman should jump into the river if her husband asks her to but doesn't want to acknowledge the rights of wife?

Facilitating marriage of divorcees and widowed women: Women especially are ignored or them marrying after divorce or death of their husband is seen as a shameful thing. Islam is the opposite. It asks to facilitate women's nikah, we can see that in stories of the Prophet.

Making women educated and financially independent and literate: women need to have a good level of education and finances around or someone who can provide them financially. It can be through job or inheritance. Though it is actually the duty of the Qawwam to take care of a woman's needs, many men unfortunately weaponise that against women.

Stop talking about others when you don't know about them. Calling them names and assassinating their character is a major sin in Islam. Divorced women are often mocked.

Being grateful to your husband: if a husband is doing his best in marriage, women also need to acknowledge that and be grateful. Don't involve random ppl in your marriage and please don't compare your marriages on social Media. This goes for both.

Taking care of your mother: your Jannah is under the feet of your mother so always treat her with kindness and love. however you need to gently correct her if she is wrong. Primarily she is your responsibility if your wife takes care of her ( which I think if the mother is a good person and needs help, wife should definitely take care of her) she is doing it out of goodness of her heart.

Taking care of your wife: your wife is someone who left everything to be with you. The Quran emphasises on mercy and compassion in marriage. The Prophet SAW has said that the best among us is who is best to his wife.

Have taqwa and treat people well for the sake of Allah. Remember, you will stand before Allah on the day of Judgement and will be asked to answer for your behavior. People will run away from their spouses, kids and parents because they know they might have not fulfilled their rights or because of them have oppressed someone else. Islam is a religion of ease. May Allah guide us to the right path and keep us steadfast. Aameen.

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u/iamaprolol — 21 days ago

I have a genuine question. Why do people label things haram which are in a grey area? I understand some things like music which doesn't really add to your life that much. It is better to leave it (though I incline towards it being haram) but I don't have strong evidence to suggest so.

However, some people literally say going to a mixed space ( such as gym, work etc) is haram even if you have no alternative because you will fall into sin. I have many more examples but thought to share these. As far as I know you can go into mixed spaces if needed and given you maintain your modesty lower your gaze etc.

I therefore feel internet can literally mislead people with regards to islam. I have seen people act extreme or liberal.

edit: I am not encouraging anyone to go and attend only mixed spaces. I have specified having no alternatives. Not everyone has the same metabolism, some ppl need to lift weights to lose weight. not everyone can workout at home, many ppl live in apartments. Weights are expensive, also some ppl rent out. it totally depends on the person too. if someone is scared they are tempted they should not go but don't label things as haram. I agree that some scholars (on the Internet have said it is haram) with reason it leads to zina, however how many times they talk about health and fitness? which of they did we would not be having this convo. some scholars might not view it as important. In conclusion, no I am not promoting free mixing or mingling or going to specifically mixed spaces I am just asking people to not label things as haram with no evidence for it. making things impermissible is when they are not is also wrong. Sharing mixed spaces is not haram ( as far as I have seen, no evidence) but free mixing is and you don't have to be in a mixed space to free mix. I hope this clears repeated comments. Lastly, we need to gain knowledge ourselves and not rely blindly only on scholars without evidence. I also highly encourage discussing these things and having community representation in fitness, education and workplace si we would have Muslim friendly spaces. Allah knows best and May He guide us all.

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u/iamaprolol — 23 days ago