u/horrorfilmwatcher

Sometimes people try to communicate and get closer to me, even when I show clear signs that Im not interested. I don’t necessarily feel bad when I reject them, but sometimes I wonder what we could’ve been if I was more open. I wonder what other people feel when they reject others.

We fear meaninglessness more than anything, hence why we created religion and other coping mechanisms. We as a society comfort each other from the truth, which disfigures our natural connection to it. Socializing is a way of manipulation to get you to fit into the norms that prevent you from realizing the truth and that we created as a society out of fear. You might think you are able to make individual choices or think independently, but that is not true in any case. We don’t have the ability to define ourselves in this society. Society defines us instead. Every choice you make isn’t based on what you truly want, it’s based on past experiences and actions that were influenced by everyone around you that lead you to this final decision in every universe. This disconnects us from the truth and our identity. We are undermining both through socializing, and given the modern circumstances it’s impossible to not interact with each other. We are being manipulated and controlled by each other without knowing and it’s all connected by the mutual fear of meaninglessness.

I cant think of a single thing I enjoy doing. I dont like anything. I used to, but everything seems so unenjoyable now. Whenever something "good" crosses my life I feel that it will be over very soon. Even if I try I mentally cant look at things from a positive perspective. In every situation, I address the negatives. Nothing can favor me. Nothing makes me happy. When people care for me, I feel that they waste their time. When I "achieve" something, I feel that I dont deserve it. Whenever I come close to forming a slightly positive thought I mentally destroy myself until I see no point in it anymore. Everything I say is stupid and everything everybody else says is also stupid. I have never heard words that made me feel something positive. Its like Im having a competition with myself to go beyond hatred until I cant even feel hate anymore.

I have a 25° C curvature that stretches pretty much across my entire spine, but especially in my lower back. I do physio therapy. I prefer not to go into detail about this, but due to lack of access in my area I don’t go to physio physio full time. Currently Im not doing physio and I will start again in a month or so, thats why Im asking here. Otherwise I would ask my trainer. Anyway, when I do exercises at home that my trainer recommended me my back sometimes hurts and feels really stiff. Some exercises I physically cant do because of the stiffness and I dont know if this is normal. My curvature isn’t severe, so Im just wondering.

Every time I speak everybody treats me like an asshole. No matter what I say it’s somehow wrong, or at least that’s what everybody thinks. My ideas are dismissed every time I talk about them and it has caused me to keep my opinions to myself a lot even if I do want to share them. I don’t know wether they’re too controversial or just wrong because nobody ever explains to me why, it’s like people are avoiding me. Everything I say is stupid. I would appreciate anyone listening to me, even if they don’t agree with me.

We were never meant to gain consciousness. Life is a coincidence, and there is no purpose in it. We are so incredibly meaningless in this universe, our disappearance will be earths greatest achievement. Birth rates dropping is a good thing. Im not saying that humans who are already on this planet should disappear, but we should actively prevent new humans from being born. Not just because we don’t have purpose, but also because humans are the most destructive species to ever exist. We should have never gained consciousness and we are a mistake

No matter what I say it’s somehow wrong in other peoples minds I don’t feel the need to say or prove anything to them but I still want to speak my mind out loud but no matter what it is or where or when I do it it’s wrong and nobody can understand what I actually mean when I say what I think even here on reddit everything I post is wrong everything I say is stupid

I wake up but don’t open my eyes. I can’t see, hear, or feel. I woke up this morning and I saw a road that was unnaturally curved into the sky, it was opening. I turn around to see a person who was my father. He uses telekinesis to communicate with me because words no longer work. Language is a manipulation mechanism to force our thoughts into words when in reality they are much more real. He punches me in the stomach and I don’t feel. It feels as fingers tap on my skin, it tickles, my skin breaks on impact. I get a chair and sit down to rest, the process will be lengthy but divine. It will be the best thing to ever happen to me and it’s already started and I will ignore the lives chasing me from the walls